hero for a day.

Damn Lay, you came with one of the best OM's ive read in a minute!

First off your rhyming and flow were untouchable after the middle kicked in. The rhyme scheme just took it. Your imagery was so perfect. You never went off or confused the reader. You kept up the emotion and didnt fall off at all. The storyline was insane. Your intro definantly helped the whole piece. I cant see any flaws except for your flow wasnt as great in the beginning as it was in the end. OM HOF for October by far.

Hit the link in my sig and RTF

god if i just, could get away too, please hurry this shit
i don't know how much longer i can take this flurry of fists
they're furious, pissed, i cried and they slowed
taking off in their car, leaving me bleeding on the side of the road
i awake in a hospital room with a doctor clearly walking
looking in my eyes he inquires, "can you hear me talking?"
i told him i could, then i thought i saw the dude shiver
as he informed me, "a man here offered to give you a new liver..

Damn.im agreeing with nique on these lines very smooth
I like how you went about doing this topic
Nice overall. Everything from top to bottom.

Lines were tight, Imagery was ill.

i think it could be OM of the month..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by .Nique.

I'm starting to think that you either are Lay Doubt or you're a serious dickrider..because you nominate everything he drops for legends.

First problem: You're white, don't use the n word. That's just my pet peeve.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by .Nique.

I'm starting to think that you either are Lay Doubt or you're a serious dickrider..because you nominate everything he drops for legends.

First problem: You're white, don't use the n word. That's just my pet peeve.

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mercenary is not me and i don't know why he nominates so many of my drops into legends.

and lmao @ you getting upset cuz i used the "n word".. yeah, I'M white.. but the person in the story wasn't. that's the kinda racial over-sensitivity that annoys me. it's like.. i'm so blatantly not using "nigga" condescendingly in any way, shape, or form.. yet you're still taking offense to it. it's not that big of a deal. listen to 50 cent - many men .. "i don't say only God can judge me cuz i see things clear.. quick these CRACKAS will give my black ass 100 years" or w/e? bet that didn't bother you did it? yet what would happen if eminem said some shit like that about "niggas"? there'd be riots. so plz, it's a double standard.. if you think it's a racist word, then it should bother you no matter who says it.

This piece was very inspirational... It triggered emotions as soon as I briefly read through the piece. It was very captivated and I could almost feel as if I were in the same place as the victim... Very good drop...

Explained in dopeness, this was dopeness of all dopenesses to be explained dopenesss into dope.

This was pretty good. I'm new, so I don't know if it qualifies as "legendary" by this community's standards, but from where I'm sitting it was captivating. I won't say that it was GREAT, but it was definitely good.

Oh, and it's pretty fucking badass that you have the character refer to himself as a "nigga" because he's black, even though you're not. If we've gotten to the point as a society where an entire race of people can't use a certain word, even if it comes through the mouth of a charcter in a work of fiction, I don't want to rap or write poetry ever again.

word to you finite. good looks dawg.