Elevation Thread.

wasnt' really feeling this not much delivery
you started off okay but then you started losing me at tha
end work on mutlies delivery
and your topic you left sucked

Frank yours flows is wack you need to elevate,
only time you come hard is when you masturbate.
all the time you lose,is you hetersexual or just confused,
before you drop bitch read the rules.
Cause you flows is inadequate,whick means you lacking,
so i 'm send this faggot nigga packin.
fuck a topic cause frank is on my hitlist,
But This bitch just got dismissed..


next topic..............
having sex in public lloll

you gotta elevate ur flow
wasnt really feelin the vocab
never focused on the topic, but i dont really no what it was haha

Fuckin this bitch to the left, fuckin her to the right//
Its hard for this to happen cuz this virgins so damn tight//
Im doin her on main street, hopin not to skeet skeet//
I aint ever done this before, but god damn its a fuckin treat//
Not wearin a rubber, could bust into this bitch at any time//
So i flipped her over and stuck it in her ass cuz it was so damn fine//
And after i was done i told that bitch to call me tonight//
Cuz i could go for that again, cuz that shit was aight//

TOPIC: collect call from a jail

Collect call from jail, accept this shit could be the one
It's your gangsta friend Raul, tellin u were he stashed the gun
U hit up 3 bitches, shot em up in the stomach and face
I CAN ONLY SHOW THE SCREAMING THROUGH THE UPPER CASE
Shit went bang bang, they fell fast you both kept riding
hitten up small stores, malls, watching innocent people dyin
Hes free while your sitten in jail beggin for forgiveness and cryin
So you tell the DA all about him, now his ass is in the death seat fryin
You laugh as u tell them where he hid the murder weapon .............
................................................li ke it was the cure for a desease
You get off for good behavior in 3 years, free to kill again, released

I know i got off the topic but o well...

Next topic/ Being deaf and blind... locked in a room... loaded gun in your hand... all alone...

im sitting here contemplating alone in a room
dark and muted like ive been enclosed in a tomb
i was born isolated from the rest of the world
im just about ready to reach the best of the worlds
im aware of the suicide commiters go to hell rumors
but if we all need to meet god someday why not sooner
gun treambling in my hand final thoughts confronting
I could meet my maker now and we could catch lunch or something
i raise the gun to my temple and breathing heavy stressing
ive never even got the chance to see my own reflection
i never got the chance to hear a voice spoken
im hoping that i get the chance after my choice soaks in
the ten seconds the brain remains conscience for a death wish
I might get to see and hear the world fade pefore im breathless
i flip off the safety and swallow my throat
live by the gun die by the gun honor the code



you got a call from your girl saying that she's pregnant

damn kid....nice.....like it....somelines dont fit the emotion of the rest...but as a topical you pulled off nice
"im aware of the suicide commiters go to hell rumors
but if we all need to meet god someday why not sooner"
^^^my fav. lines

Now....
Topic= you got a call from your girl saying that shes pregnant.......


the voice so suttle wit hesitation...my body tingles with anticipation as the words echo through the phone
...(then a whirlwind of thoughts cloud my brain)

My blood rushes as my mind escapes from realitys hold and perceptions crash
reflectin back to the rage ebraced by my adolescent mind cuz mah neglective dad
deceptive past experiences caused by givin love wit no reception back
Dad I loved you and followed my footsteps in yours but you wrecked my path...

.....NOOOOOOOOO
I can not be what Ive seen throughout my life on this earth
I know what its like to be hurt, and Im NOT like that ol jerk.
Ill fight and ill merk, any so my son dont know what its like to be hurt!!!!
I might have to work, but my blood bleeds for his life and his worth!!!!!

(and I then reply...with my heart bursting)
OH My GOD!!! YESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



topic:Seeing those you love in life drown in a flood

this was quite nice, emotive, and a good spin on the topic by relating it to your experiences of fatherhood. nice opening line, well worded, but i failed to spot the rhyme. on a couple of lines u compacted words in a slightly confusing manner, so it came off a little clumsy (the reception back line was a little off), but nice here.

seeing loved ones drown
we'd drifted before without need of nature's force
i paused, my tearful eyes adding to their own cause
my heart would flood, as your bottom lip quivered
closing for a final sleep, at the bed of this river
the sea between us, with our time out of sight
arms outstretched, i held our memories tight
palms together as though we sat in prayer by
the trecherous water, with it's lecherous eye
you'd float to the bottom, none of this sounds fair
so for you, i hope there's something better down there

next topic: childhood

Good beginning, it was clever. It had a nice flow to it. You had good emotion also. you used good imagery, it was believable. Your ending line was well thought out-it seemed like this was a good topic for you, didnt seem forced at all.


my childhood died when i reached tha age of five/
moms stayed speakin lies -went n slayed her fam'ly ties/
betrayed her flesh n blood- for some cat deep into drugs/
countless nights lacked sleep-dreamin of a mothers love/
envied my friends who's family was still united n firm/
my life turned inside out-too damn young to learn/
mem'ries burned wit hate-emotions raged displaced/
faced painful thoughts wit no future hope of escape/
didnt fuck wit playgrounds-no birthdays filled wit clowns/
misplaced school pictures always riddled wit frowns/

next topic-your first car

aiight i can feel the emotion but i think u could have came a lil deeper adn more complex... use more meta-4s and upp ur vocab... and multis always helps any peice cum more effectivly... but other than hat good structure adn an overall good peice

faded paint chips in the wind, still lovein the color
94 mercury cougar paid for give sumthing of wonder
my sense of pride and independence i strive for forgivness
...................as i use it to ride in the endless
cycle of life more than a machine but a feeling
4 wheels in need of rotation but it seem that its spinning
properly neva sway coccely, dreams in transmission
automatically driven to prusue a mans vision
of freedom of sorts wteva da mileage im leaven the courts
of a steady life, only fast past the way im speedn da horse
new place to chill adn it travel with my grace
my niggas blunted up wit my guhs face in my waiste
sanctuary from the still life of envious pedistrains
hope my gas as i pass the state of stillnes being met again




NT......u have aids and ur guh is pregnant( or u are the guh dats pregnant)

yo i like ya flow it was steady and evened out..
u had pretty good imagery..
but overall it was good..

Karl Merks/
ur style needs work/
if u feelin like a jerk battle me and get merked/
im after u cuz u tha maker of this thread/
im through wit body shots i put tha banger to ya head/
tha bitch u fuck wit has AIDS so theres danger in tha bed/
im here to finish what u started/
its summer time but im still cold hearted/
yo im mad smart ur merley retarded/
this is tha end so everyone say bye to tha dearly departed/(MERKS)....(JOOK$)

topic:your hood

The summer line might have worked with better wording. However it still was self-glory. Work on coming more directly at the person you're dissing.

Not really saying anything, guess you're not outspoken
The way I flip lines, will have Jookz' ankles broken
After I'm done with you, you'll be laid flat, and numb
With an October join date, no way you're Already Platinum
You could sign up with Kanye and not be with anythin good
Little off topic, but why you wanna know about my hood?
Opponents in your sig have me rolling, they the best?
You're cracking under pressure,
and after a 5-0 loss, you obviously failed your test!

Next topic: Looking For Satellites.....rather have somebody diss me though

As i drove down the road, on the search for a satelite,
to get a better signal, on the radio was the big fight,
i saw on the sidewalk, CrazyCarl's big ears,
the station crackled, and speech became clear,
i chuckled to my self and stepped out of my ride,
securley to the roof-rack, i made sure he was tied,
i thanked god for the situation and slowly pulled away,
i was filled with joy, with the luck i had today.

next topic: rapbattles.com

i liked Carl's flow good structure next time add a bit more vocab. but you should have kept to the topic. this is an elevation thread if you wanna diss, go somewhere else.
peace out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Poltergeist

As i drove down the road, on the search for a satelite,
to get a better signal, on the radio was the big fight,
i saw on the sidewalk, CrazyCarl's big ears,
the station crackled, and speech became clear,
i chuckled to my self and stepped out of my ride,
securley to the roof-rack, i made sure he was tied,
i thanked god for the situation and slowly pulled away,
i was filled with joy, with the luck i had today.

next topic: rapbattles.com

---

Welcome to RB, a place filled with egos and 'Gods' ..
.. although lately - it hasnt quite been what it was.
On the scene, at the start, battles n scriptures were murdered,
.. but nowadays its all cliches, flipped and reworded.
Newbs are depicted as worthless, board beefs like a pantomine,
.. and kids are put down before they've had the chance to shine.
The 'Vets' mostly pass the time, inside of The Lounge ..
.. paying NO mind to why this site was kinda renowned,
in its hey day. For the raw talent that coursed its veins.
Bear that in mind next time you're browsing the board. Refrain.


Next: The war on Iraq