My Down Fall

uppin for more feed thanx for the feed so far ppl

come on ppl i want some fuckin feed back shit it dont fuckin take but 1 1/2 min to type what you think god damn it

upppppppppppin for feed................................

upppppppppppppppppppin for some feed...................

lets get some feedback come on ppl i just wanna know your thoughts and opinions

that was fukin sick

this was a good peice good use of vocabs and an ok flow keep it up

thanx for the feed.............uppin for more feed

im adding my second verse on it but ima post it not with it then edit it so ican have it there and here why because im bored as fuck

they pray that i fall.....they pray that i wont make it
i pray that people see that im one of the most hated

uncongradulated...leaves my frustrated...ready to leave
all my eneimies wanna for some reason see me bleed

i have no clue why im still here on this earth
not getting to celibrate my fuckin birth...im cursed

what can i say i wipe my eyes and cant tell you whats what
but if i do die i ask my self this who's gonna give a fuck

will i be noticed fo my accomplishments...or will they be left unnoticed
they read this and ask they're self...who the fuck wrote this

i cant comprehend....what does it take to be a man
i know im here for a reason...GOD whats your plan

someone give me notice because im bringing my self to my downfall
i relise that im tryin to walk before ive learned to crawl

no i wont take that for a answer...im as serious as lung cancer
will i fall or rise to the top....only GOD knows the answer

second verse has been added what yall think hahaha let me know if its any better than the first

Nice Shit Man
Liked The Concept Man
Jus Not Fond Of Some Of The Lines Bruv

Keep Up

Take It Easy

thanks...............uppin for more feedback......

i see a bunch of cats rippin ya shit up in here but i didnt really think it was that bad...it was honest so that original right there...there was a lack of wordplay though...and also you could use better structure

but the thing that made this a sub-par OM is the fact that u added a hook in...theres really no need for it

ok well uppin for more feed.........................