...Gone...

Alright thanks man...I've been writing a while tho..alias was banned...I'll keep elevatin tho as everyone does....Thanks for the feed...UPP!

i was feelin this, the flow was nice.. lol everythin was nice..

Upp 4 more

Dope shit!

10/10 its gushing emotion man, just thats all I can say.......great

Uppin............................................. ......

pretty good

it was good, but make ur font bigga lol

Uppin Old Gold...

Hey this was some pretty good shit man. I was feeling the while thing. You stuck to the story, which is good. Honestly, you could have had a little better wordplay, and creativeness there, but it was good, dont get me wrong.

Past lifes like our lives have existed and now remembered,
God took her from me and insisted, I feel I've been 'Septembered',

Hope...Exists no more,
Faith...Opens no door,
Prayer...Loved never before,

Her eyes shined like stars and I wished she'd come back,
I just wish the lord would cut the sadest person some slack!
I'd truley thought I was happy but I guess god is a fake...
He seperated us as if we were inside an abnormal earthquake,

Im not sure what it is..but i thought...^....these were you're dopest lines.

Tainted love...don't play with good lives god...can a new day dawn?
Look around you...you created the mass of evil and hatred..........
........................................You killed the good lives...they're Gone
....dope closer....

so overall, pretty good piece here, i was really feelin it. i like your om's, they're always dope, keep it up. one.

Thanks ^^^...this was a long time ago you realize that lol...I'm better than this now...Thanks for the feed. UPPIN!

Hey man that was pretty good, keep it up...

Lines I was feelin':

"Hope...Full of hatred,
Faith...Slightly over-rated,
Prayer...Lives are debated,

This is the ending of my story of love...Best not to love at all,
If you ever loved a women...you'd know more about my downfall,
I resigned from my life as a friend...I resigned as a husband....
I resigned completely and just put my life to a sudden end,
I couldn't take the thought...I'd rather sit in hell and rot...
My decision wasn't hard...My love could never be bought,

Those were probably the best lines of the whole verse imo.

Lines I wasn't feelin':

"For fucks sake...I wished our love could replace all the lies,
I wish we could've kept going...instead of pickin up some fries,
The car swerved...We flipped and turned until' we were upsidedown,
I cared nothing of myself, when I saw her I first felt the Frown,
Blood seperated us..degrated our souls...enslaved our life long roles,
To be eachothers partners...we paid the tolls, Traps were dug.......
..................................It was as if we were surrounded by moles,

Personally I didn't like those last lines.... wasn't really feelin' the vocab there...i,e:

• Lies / Fries
• Upside-down / Frown
• Roles / Moles

But anywayz you did a good job, lotta emotion in that part.. keep it up.

yeh i liked this piece, i think it appeals to alot of guys here,
thts why i thought it was a decent piece.
keep at it
peace 1

This was written so long ago...lol, Much better at my vocabulary now...but UPP!

that was preety sweet i dont really have any complaints