Oh Word Presents : Victoms Of Another Reality

thnx for the feed

this was my first OM so its cul and constructive critisizim is good and I plan on duing more Oms as practice for some topical battles and shit

^^me too uppin

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moral - u verse was ok. u flowed ok but couldve had some better flow, throw in some more multies. ur structure was god, lines were pretty much exactly the same length through out the entire piece. but seriously for me, u could have had way more emotion there is so much u couldve talked about that was left out and left me dissapointed. u couldve talked about the astro dome and all that and the civic center how all those people are getting killed there and raped, and shit like that. all of that stuff couldve made the verse way better. u should re write it with more emotion and post again

Lyrical - Pretty much the same as moral when it comes to emotion but...........ur flow wasnt that good and the structure was way off. ur last line wasnt to good u pretty much couldve dropped a whole verse about bush but that one liner wasnt to good. but snce this was ur first om u will elevate

thanks
I didn't wanna get into details about the
hurricane because i wanted people to findout for themselves
N.e ways thanks for da feed

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so people more feed on this ...uppin we both appreciate the time u put into reading it

sick drop, flow was really good, structure was close to as good as it gets, the vocab from moral was good, and lyrical's was pretty good as well, moral's opener was tha bomb and lyrical's closer was sick too, overall this drop was really good...
9/10 ... good drop...
~one~

thanxs uppin

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uppin thnx ....................................

if u people like this for real then put it in the legendary pieces if not i want to be in H.O.F so pplez tell me how i can elevate my verse to get there

uppin..........................................

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