Almost died for them (a unused SS verse)

yo thats sum deep and realheavy shit keep up da work peace mayne

thanks for the feedback

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i was feeling it, it was really good i knew u had it in u

work mon ur wordplay a lil b otha was it was good u could do better tho

good shit man i liked it aight keep it up homie

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fresh to death

work mon ur wordplay a lil b otha was it was good u could do better tho

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hey its me cripgurl i just changed my name wats up homie

thanks for the feedback.If your not leavin feedback don't freepost in my thread thanks

uppin for feedback

This was an interesting read. It flowed ok, but like Treazon said, they rhyming was off at times. You had some good imagery in there though, and some nice emotional content. What I'd say you need to better for your next piece is your rhyme scheme and your vocab. Besides that though it was a nice piece.

thanks I'll work on that

If possible, could you leave some feedback on my most recent open mic? It should be somewhere at the top. It's called Life Cycle. I'd greatly appreciate it.

Dat sum good shit

thanks for the feedback

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