Escape

alright

unfinished as you say but has some potential no doubt

reminded me a bit of gift of gab, and his 4th dimensional rocket ships cd

the imagery was good as always and you conveyed what was hapening well
lines were well written etc
you could do with delving into the topic more, and expanding it along with your thoughts
i liked the references to historical stuff like the Serpent
hard to comment on a half piece but good so far

props

fin

i liked this OM... read one of your other pieces once and liked that one too. Overall, just has good flow, nicely written and good choice of words, which I think is the most important thing. Good thoughts.. keep up the writing.

nice journey fosho.. feeling the imagery and lightness of it all.. good rhymes.. a couple lines seemed worded a bit jumbled and some places needed fleshing out a lil.. good multies
flow solid.. vocab coming along well

keep up