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ok yes as the others mentioned before, this was too simple as far as rhyming goes. however had it been set differently this could have been dope. the ideas and messages you guys brought out were very nice. you just need to add some internals ryhmes and even out that meter. had those two elements been incorperated this would have been a much better read. this was not "horrid" by any standard. this was an average piece with thought put into it. i see you elevating quick sammy once you learn how to structure your rhymes better. good job.
please return the favor
my om:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219372
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Thanks for the feedback uppin
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The concept is very dope and you two flowed well.
The lyrics were cool, but seemed simplistic at some points.
The syllable rhyming was cool on the second verse, but the first verse didn't have much of that... u guys should work on multies to make it more interesting.
I enjoyed this, it was a solid read, i just think the 2nd verse stood out to me more.
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Yo tight piece right here. I liked da topic n all. Ya'll both had really good flows n errything. Multi's would've made this betta but u really didnt need em. Good work. Hit up da links in my sig 4 me.
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the flow was nice but the actual content was basic and there wasn't alot if vocab in the peice.
yet i still enojed reading it as it was a good overall verse.
i liked your structure in this peice,and the 4 bar rhyme scheme.
good job but be a a little more comlex with your vocab.
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great multies in both verses. my fave thing about this was the message, the flow seemed to be more like a dialogue rather than a rap though, like it'd be best to recite this rather than string it out iwth beats. the complexity was par level, not too high not too low so that was good. not much imagery in this, but the intellectual value is pretty high, i say you both did a nice job on this, keep it up.
peACE
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it was an alright piece and decent drop.. I wasn't really, really impressed with it because it wasn't much out of the ordinary but I read it. The flow was alright, could've had a different scheme, but this was fine. I liked the message as well, so that was a plus.. overall decent. keep up.
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