Yep, replied to that, thanks for peeping. ;)
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Yep, replied to that, thanks for peeping. ;)
n/p
OM is getting slept only like whoa, back in the days people appreciated a good read, now all they want is a HOF spot.
if you find the time, peep the revised version of day and night.. other style of me.. maybe youll enjoy it.
Well of course I want to get in HOF.. but I'd rather read a lot of dope writing in this forum, than get in there just because of the general lack of talent.
If you look at this month's noms, most of them aren't all that breathtaking.
nope, i know ..cause i am not nominated my d/r is reduced lmao!
but yek, peep the day and night .. it might suprise you.
*should have known, hof will cause dr and that it will die soon talent wise, why did i made it up & happen!?!?*
Word, thanks for reading again. Up again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jekyll
Becuase it seemed like a poetry peace, This was overatted imo. It was decent if anything. Alot of things you lacked. before you jupmed to conclusions with a remark think twice, I've be textin online for 4 years, Won one Poetry Contest and one Topical. So take this advice I give you seroius. Becuase you'll be the one going to sleep thinking about what I said not me.
Okay, no problem if you thought it was overrated, you can clearly see it's an OM though. I've won poetry contests and I've achieved a lot in topicals too. But it's whatever ..
Bump.
I liked the story. The way you structured the piece brought the storyline along, by introducing new elements. Some of those you could have wrote more on, such as the penultimate one about his family, which was one of my favorite sections. The way the last two lines in each section were structured, they had to be read correctly to not lose the flow. Putting in the internals helped this. I don't mind about the multis, because the piece is in sections. The vocab was nice, and the chorus fit the piece.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185738
yo its aight man but need work on it work on flow and structure man needs alot of improvement but its still good man overall verse rate - 6.0/10
Shut the fuck up.
This was nice: A narrative that spaned almost a lifetime. I normally don't like people covering that much space in that few lines because of lack of detail, but you did it well. I liked the flow alot. It was really smooth. The only downside was, you didn't really make me care for the character. It was like reading a newspaper, instead of hearing a story first hand from the person who lived it or a close friend/relative. It was still a nice piece though. Keep up the good work.
This was really good, i really felt this one here. Story was good and a great read
Thanks W1cked and Intermental for reading.
stop the violence//increase the piece.
The topic was hot the way you dropped was official. The vocab was good the way you rhymed words was hot.
Keep doin ya thing cuz