This Was Iyte In Some Parts There Was Nice Imagery And In Some It Was Lacking It
Tha 'Flow' Looked to Be Kool But Mor Poetic Thn Anythin...Cnt Relli See Anythin That Any1 Else Hasnt Said......
Was A Good Read...Pz
Printable View
This Was Iyte In Some Parts There Was Nice Imagery And In Some It Was Lacking It
Tha 'Flow' Looked to Be Kool But Mor Poetic Thn Anythin...Cnt Relli See Anythin That Any1 Else Hasnt Said......
Was A Good Read...Pz
Nice peice.
I liked the way you began, Nice rhyming scheme.
Structure was different, but nice. Definatly a good drop.
And like Btk said it was more poetical.
Fav Lines
My life is based on pride, just look in my eyes
Suprised, out of my life a gladiator could rise
.
be ready to attack attackers sent by their backers
to take care of a debt from this hardened slacker
When finally they find me, I'm ready for whats come
as I take a bat to the ribs, and a whip from a gun
When I try to run, I'm beat so instead of retreat
I slap on a guillotine while stomping feat
Not letting go until no breathe is felt
Knowing in my moral fiber I'm going to hell
For killing men just sent for their job
And knowing damn well it was only my fault
So instead of facing the facts my ethics are lost and buckle
I'm finally broken...
...and to show for it, all I have is my bruised knuckles
your rhymes sucked, simplistic shit y0 ` :rolleyes:
it was aight, you can do better.