humanochalypse

uppin again

Uppin again.Com'on man...Want mo feeds.It's readin my drop and tellin what cha think too much to ask?

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Originally Posted by Issue

But i got to mention your structure and punctuation and overall grammer on this piece, it lacked a lot.

Sort out your grammer,

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Uh, it's ar. :laugh: Just fuckin'

Anyways, back on topic. This piece was mind blowing man, the best example of talent so far that I've seen on these forums. (Bear in mind I really haven't been here that long) The vocab shows real mature ideas and shit, you are definitely way beyond the amateurs. Every last thing you said I gotta agree with dog. Seriously write more I wanna see more from you.

Thx man.

Definately a nice piece... It only lacks one thing which is a decent structure and a little better punctuation and general grammar. Otherwise this is an excellent piece. You rhyme well and maintain a good level of flow illustrating your skill in writing OMs. I enjoyed reading this and I look forward to seeing new pieces. There isn't much more for me to say except well done.

Peace

Nice work kiddo. Not bad at all. The message was a solid one, and you executed it well. Just a couple things: even out those stretched lines - try to keep the syllale count so it's almost the same. And work on your wording a little bit, try to incorporate more figuritive language. Keep elevating though, this was a fairly decent drop.

Thought i'll upp this one more time...

wow i was def feeling that one.. great vocab... flowed nicely.. and was overall just dope as hell... 7/10

nice piece son, nice structure and vocabulary, you hot son fa rell

nice peace

Deff a good piece

REAL RECOGNIZE REAL

im just a bit concerned with the over rhmyed word endings or rhyming so many lines in a row

nice content tho ur pretty good

Thx 4 the feeds