^appreciated, checked out ur drop. Hot ish man
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^appreciated, checked out ur drop. Hot ish man
The reason I went back and said the first part again was becuase I started the story at the end and just wanted to go back and blend it in with the rest of the story, but I see what ur saying. thanx
Still lookin for some suggestions yall tryin to elevate
This is a nice piece... Good story... I especially liked the way how you jumped from present to past. I thought though that each time frame could've been elaborated on a little more. That way a better picture could've been painted. A little more information about the people maybe? I don't know. I liked this.
Maybe a little longer though? I'll look out for your future pieces... Keep practicing!
Peace
Yea, when you jumped from present to pass, that was nice. Overall, it was a pretty good drop, I liked it, you got potential, I'll look at your future peices at well.
Thanx to everybody who offered feedback, its nice to see some of the poeple who have been around this site for a while are willing to help the "Newb" elevate
iiGHT 1ST OFF TO MENTION: The topic is what first caught my attention,
so when I started reading, your concept was grasping, :cussing:
i was into your word play, and the flashback back jumpoff,
of the present, past-n-future, was hott also, :hitit2:
it was a long piece, but it wasnt a piece that was dragged on w/o meaning. :thumbup:
OVERALL: I liked reading this one, keep the shyt up dawg; :thumbup: gedd@dakidd:
KALIKOZE911... :shoot:
^ thanx...last uppin