Sunburned...

this was real creative in comparing a woman to sunlight, that's it right? or is it just talking about sunlight, either way, dope and well put concept, flow was good and the only thing you might wanna work on is it occasionally comes to throw a reader off when you rhyme tactix with mix, but its still dope, the imagery was strong and it had some dope metaphoric comparrisons, this is real dope for the second piece i ever read of yours

yo man heavy rhyme,i like it so much coz i kinda relate to it but i also think that even if i didnt have such a connection wid it that it wud still be the hot stuff man.keep it up.rate me bk on "R.I.P mah love".dodge.

Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it all.

Pretty good, But thats too mcu poetry for me..

^Thanks, I guess.

Feedback please?

This was good but it could've been a little better... Good structure and vocab worked well with this but I didn't really get into it. This may just be my individual take on it and may not reflect other people's feelings. It was a nice piece but I felt it was more poetic than rap I suppose?

Good work though... If you could check out "Blind to Reality?" I'd appreciate it...

Peace

it's wierd... cuz you go from talking to her, to talking to a third person about yourself...

and you jump back to her.... but other than that, it's decent... nice work

Thanks for feedback.

man, like do you ever stop writing,STOP IT.....get better, you still over-use vocab and it really drags your piece, good emotion....but your killin yourself man

nice shit man...i really enjoyed this