Evil In His Eyes

very good drop..,.nice structure..and rhyme scheme..very fluent..and a very unigue topic

8/10

Thanks for the feed

uppn

nice drop, sounds like sumtin I would rap about I guess we on the same page. and um yea, this stuff really does happen and I like doin it how you did showin in from the 1st person perspective and all dat, but yea kid.....nice drop but I think the hook could've been a little better cuz u did so nice on the verse and the hook kinda slacked but over all it was hot.......interested to hear it to a beat.

I think the chorus is just sumthing that came about, I think its actually a audio chorus lol... Meaning, it'd be better if it was audio. But i dunno, i kinda liked it, i cant really come up with them so i just use anything

thanks 4 the feed

up

Wow, I must've totally missed this piece, I'm always reading your pieces but I completely missed it and am dissapointed in myself, lol. Anyways, this piece was as pure as it is psychotic lol. Then again, I love reading pieces with deep emotion in it. The flow in this could have been upped a little bit, only once or twice did I lose touch, maybe a couple multies here and there could've spiced it up a little bit. The wordplay was pro, everything went right where it should have been. At times, when the word ''too'' came up, i thought it meant ''also'' but you typed it wrong, should have been ''to'' so that threw me off a couple times though, no worries lol. The vocab was good overall, then again it doesn't reallly need to be in this type of piece. Structure was perfect as always lol, you prolly have the best structure when you're writing these pieces, which makes for a more noteable read. Hmm, the ending just killed it, really good. ''don't you just wish you were dead?'' This line really brings out the ''evil in his eyes'' and made it more of a good read. Overall, I have seen better from you definitely, but this was a really true piece, good job man. keep this shit coming. lol BTW thanks for responding to my piece man, appreciate it.

Thank you awaken, thats some good feed right there.

Appreciated son

Uppn

Yo dogg this was some real shit...it was kind of creepy but it didn't bother me...i weren't really feelin the ending that much i thought it should've been bigger than that but it was koo...i like everything else though...nice structure the vocab was solid as always...nice piece dogg keep it comin...pz

Thanks Young'n

Up

First verse was dope
Chorus was decent
Didnt like verse 2 tho.

Lol, thats some real nice feed