In Between The Glaze

Nice drop man. You had some great imagery in this, which was probably the strongest point. Emotion was great as well. Flow was also nice. I liked the words you chose for this. Vocab was at a good level and the creativity of the story was original. Really nice drop man. Keep it up.

peace,
Mez

Thanks. I just edited.

up.

this looks much better, the piece is now more aesthetically pleasing...rb often forces me to change pieces around, so i feel your pain on that tip...

this really is a nice poem, nothing that blows me away, but im not regretting letting you into the crew...i've been waiting for a minute to see that talent you keep so well hidden, i never see you drop pieces, so i was very glad when i first saw this..the story is very nice story...well as nice as a death can be...i must admit that when ifirst read it i didn't completely understadn the underlying themes, and i was being lazy and didn't want to read again....but now i have and i must commend you on your work...eh i really don't have that much to say...nice poem...worthy of DD...

keep writing...

o ... and if you have the time

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160818 < hella slept on

Thanks. I'll try to get to look at that later.

And, you'll get to see more of my 'hidden' talent in SS soon hopefully ;)

So the old lady was having an affair with the post man? Had his own key and all?..

But no, this is an excellent piece of writing. Right from the start i got into it. It let me into it's world...but without giving full access. Some of the words i had to look up for confirmation. But they all fitted well enough.

The one line i was unsure about (being pedantic) was 'An ungentle giant figure, of epic proportions.' Well, basically the use of 'epic proportions', it didn't seem to fit quite right. But maybe it's just my warped way of life that has a problem with things of 'epic proportions' when said or seen by another. Hmmmm....

Apart from that, it was one of the best pieces i've read on here. It's the kind i like..all brooding, melancholic and atmospheric without being too far out.

Thanks for replying. lol, I should really have explained the postman's role better. Err.. imagine he had to break into the house. ;)