1st uppin...votes up mang...ere body need to vote...
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1st uppin...votes up mang...ere body need to vote...
Mixed Toxins
Yo i dont need a aresnal of weapons to kill this guy~
All i need is my toxic spit and ill make him fry~
Im like Pottassium Chloride ill make him die~
Ill make you split, sry..your 2 sizes small of a chinese dick~
Quit trying to be what your not...... you want beaf?~
Come to oak-town ill have you flat on your back in dis-belief~
Ill Split ya wig,even shoot you up like ya jay-z sig~
Fig-ure it out your not sick~
You still got a chance to join the Queer-Eye-Click~
Im not going to break down each line because that would do your verse injustice. But this is very basic. Alot of elevation needed as far as good concepts, you need more creative punchlines, some of your lines were stretched and hard to follow. Just check out the people with more experience look at their battles, youll see what I mean, I saw like one or 2 personal dissage attempts...ok. But thats not always enough.
Arsenal
Dude trying to "SEEK-HOPE" Mixtoxins DOPE dats like cold "Winters" and Fat people havin "HEAT-STROKES"(mixToxins-dope)
Dis dude not gettin CLOSE Arsenal got dis shit Wrapped so we should change dis thread to U-GOTTA-BE-KIDDIN-POST/1BAR
u callin out you shouldnt even SPOKE-NOW "Toxins DOPE HOW?"U make shit sound so Delicate Especially when u from "OAK-TOWN"
Testin "Ars" GREATNESS...cause like Psycologist answers ill leave u wit no BASIS And leave Blood in ya Flow and watch Toxins Literally be WASTED/2BAR
FUCK-YA-NAME-YO U watchin YA-FAME-GROW ya life is in more jeapordy den continu-es GAME-SHOWS(K.O)
Ok I could pretty much repeat the above for this verse. Looks like you have a better concept of battling though. Your punches were better, be careful when making a bunch of lines with multis together, for instance (heat strokes, deep throat, seek hope) becuz they sound and flow good, but if they don't make sense or dont relate to the battle people aren't gonna feel em. Your lines are stretched out as well. And all the caps on certain words....you'll learn as time goes by that if you really have a good verse, you won't have to "dress your text up" or make it look pretty. people will judge it by the content.
Well anyways V/Arsenal for the overall better verse
wtf Upp dis bitch..dis da last time im uppin dis damn battle
good battle.............. ars held it down. soldier style..
if i could vote it would go to ars... good battle toxins respect