Good drop story was decent, you could have built it up more for the climax. I liked the second verse more than the first probably because it had more mulits and flowed easier. A couple lines had some tense issues where you changed from past tense to present tense. Imagery was excellent, you painted a vivid picture of the setting and action throughout the entire piece. Needed a little work, but it was a good read none the less. Keep dropping man, and if you could return the favor that would be greatly apreciated.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224626
