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Conclusion and br8kdown.......
Imagery-Tie, both came ok in this category..............
Flow-Tie, both had ok flow and easy read.......
But Emotion is what mesmerize win this piece, he came juss a little better than macabre and that's what got him to win this topical battle.......
Conclusion-Mesmerize pulls this one off.......And it gets him the win........
Vote/Mesmerize
Mesmereyes is a girl....lol..
Very interesting battle indeed, each came with an aggressive approach to the topic. Each described the pain inflected and torture in the flesh with vivid imagery and solid emotion, so props to you both. This si a battle so there has to be a winer, but I liked each of your drops here.
Macabre, you took us down a highway of twisted imagery and descriptive scenery and left us with a feeling of disgust for the heinos crimes commeted against the purity of a young girl. Very good way to grasp your audience, the image is burned and the emotion felt. I think you started this off well and led us on a bit before we could gather enough to understand the focus here. Keep my interest, yet seemed rushed to me in the end. That did take away from the overall drop, technically this was a good display, I just wish you would have used a less conventional scheme. I think you could have elaberated more on the ending.
Mez, again another great approach to the topic on your part. You had me feeling on edge from the start to finish. rather slow to build but not rushed in the end, which is a good balance. Emotions was felt and imagery was on point, great use of style here. YOu did not load this with vocab overkill, and you keep the drop well proportioned. Technically this was good, conceptually original, and refreshing in a diabolic sense. Again I just wish a less conventional scheme was incorperated which would have put this peice on a higher level. Great job on this, outside of a few structural and scheme related issues this was a well written peice.
Both writters demonstrated skill and originality, each used to the topic well and each should be proud of thier work.
Macabre
Use of topic: 8
Concept: 8
Style: 9
Emotion/Imagery 9
Area of improvement: Scheme, concept and detail (ending), meter
Mez
Use of topic 9
Concept 9
Style 9
Emotion/imagery 9
Areas of improvement: Scheme, line length and syllable count, meter.
Vote= Mez
topic=mez.........not to far infront of next dude but you kept it constant
imagery=mez..........i felt the flow cuz what more should i say
style=tie............yall both had a nice unique style which i enjoyed
flow=tie...............both was easy to read.
vote=mez
hit up my battles........i'll return the favor
Up for this to be over with....
Following in the other footsteps... I have to say the same.
Mes just had more imagery related words, very descriptive and in a high useage of vocab at t he same time. Her piece had better imagery.. and slightly better emotion I feel, although that was a bit closer. Overall, she gets my vote for those reasons.... imagery,emotion, and higher vocab. Flowed nice as well.
Macabres piece wasn't bad, but she took this...
vote- mes