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Rippar
your verse did not flow at all, you had weak punches, bars that ended with weak words that didnt contain any metaphors or similies.....i felt like you didnt put thought into your verse. Your lines are kinda stretched, like refrain frfom ryhming 3 bars with each other cuz it sounds weird. structure was ok, try to even shit out more.......and dont extend your bars just to add more multies, narrow shit down, get right to the poing with ur verse.......
Judge had similes and shorter straight to the point disses. nothing extrodinary , but his verse was enough to take the battles. He had similes in his verse, such as his openeer. it flowed alrite, didnt really feel the structure, thats not my style, but it was still kinda easy to follow......alot more than Rippars
Vote: Judge
Judge hit up 1 another one of m ybattles fairly dude for this feedback
Just search my name
cya
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Umm..
Rippar.. not a bad attempt for a first battle. You've got the ideas there.. used multies and similies etc.. but they didn't make much impact.
You need to concentrate on simple personal punchlines more than anything else to be honest.
There was alot of filler in the verse, shit talk kinda stuff.. whereas Judge aimed every line at you.
it wasn't too bad.. but have a few battles and look back, and I'm sure you'll see where you went wrong yourself.
Judge.. Structure was iffy.. I don't like those short lines to be honest.. but you had good personals.. and some nice punches overall.
e.g.. Wise Mynd fucked up your bars in his vote.. he didn't know what bars were connected etc..
You need to go for a more traditional structure.
Tho your verse was good enough to take this no matter what.. it hit harder in most aspects.
V/The Judge
