Revange - How I changed

holla for that collab!!!

collab??????????? holla at me...

Ok piece - I think it could use some work though. The intro and concluding verses are tight but the middle, which is supposed to be the meat of it, seems lacking. A little too simplistic I guess. You need to make me feel your rage, and fulfillment from letting it loose, a little more. The third kids verse is in need of particular attention - it just seems dead. Thought your closer was very nice. Good concept. Keep writing. Hit something in my sig if you can, preferably Lamentations.