1-0 on the poll vote which counts..........
Uppin...............
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1-0 on the poll vote which counts..........
Uppin...............
i hate to say it, but Rascal's line was like the most played ever. I havent seen worse yet, check 1 check 2 tap the mic?!?! what the fuck is that shit, ok flow though, least you got something, im not sayin that mr's verse was good, but definetly an improvement
meh..............
not a very gd battle..........
mrtokealot.........verse was descent with actual punches.....flow was on.......a few personals.........
RASCAL.......hmmm..verse was OK but u gotta cum with harder hittin punches........structure was off as well..........jus work on punches and shit like that..........elevate
not impressd fellas...........
v/ MrTokealot
hit this up plz
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...34#post1196934
3-0.....Ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mods close this unless more votes come in...
uppin for a Mod to close this.................
Toke:
I beat this little rascal…these pounds make you go dizzy
You come with brittle parcels…why think your flow hits me
nice struct, but no punch, bad open
This kids spits are falling…he’ll never pick his remains up
These quick bars mauling…rascals ended when I defame luck
ok, weak punch tho
I’m fighting a gay with sick mischief ways…but kid you aint ill
I make his writings amaze…when I hit through his lame spills
no punch, no creativity
Why come open handing…its like hes failed to give anything sick
Your like a slow pen landing…the way you squirt many things shit
nah
I make your wacks ways crash…to show your rate dont pass all
Rascal dont think you lay flash…you should rename to brasscal
fill
You make more bores…bout time you get your weak things pounded
I put this kid below the floorboards…to show I leave him grounded
weak
Rascal spits waste…but nothing that piles up near grimy material
I leave your scripts spaced…rascal your wackness aint likely arterial
weak close
Rascal:
THE MURKIN BEGINS......
Time to set up on to the Stage,
Time for us to Lyricaly Engage./
played open
So i Check 1, Check 2 tap on the mic,
I dont use my fists so were gona Lyrically fite./
nah
Ur lyrics wil get played more than tekken tag,
Ur verse misses punches like a burgular with no bag.
nuthin
Your verses are HA...i told u u're bad no need to Snub me
No point in tellin you how wack u r, when ur verse.. dus it for me !/
light punch there
Iwanna hit you hard and go for the Knock out,*1
There gonna hit you so hard you'd think its a black out!/
Pushin ta fill
I'm merking you with only 10lines.. im sorri bout that and you can't do a thing,
Your wack and until your six feet under.. the fat lady will carry on to sing./
ok
Im done time to put down the fucking mic,
Hit you with one last punch... wishin you good nite..
aight close
MURKIN HAS FINISHED......
This is goin to Rascal, cuz he is the only one that actually had decent punches. The rhymin was really basic tho, try somethin more creative.
Tokealot, ur structure was really impressive, I don't think a lot of people will recognize it tho. In these text battles, you've gotta almost forget about a complex structure and work on jus straight up punches, personals, and wordplay. Props on tha structure, but it wont win battles.
Vote - Rascal
Keep it open im on the comeback.................
I beat this little rascal…these pounds make you go dizzy
You come with brittle parcels…why think your flow hits me
opening was ok.. set was nice i though, follow through could have been a little better and had more connectiong through the lines
This kids spits are falling…he’ll never pick his remains up
These quick bars mauling…rascals ended when I defame luck
good rhyme scheme your going for ABCD not bad, always sounds good in a flow for text.. Your follow through could have been more directed and hit with a little more punch
I’m fighting a gay with sick mischief ways…but kid you aint ill
I make his writings amaze…when I hit through his lame spills
likes your set here. wasnt bad played but wasnt bad. i think you could have worked the follow through to be really sick with a diffrent concept for it
Why come open handing…its like hes failed to give anything sick
Your like a slow pen landing…the way you squirt many things shit
alright bar.. the 2nd part of the follow through could have been better you could have used a better concept. follow wasnt bad
I make your wacks ways crash…to show your rate dont pass all
Rascal dont think you lay flash…you should rename to brasscal
nice flow on this. punchs were alright, could have used a little more though
You make more bores…bout time you get your weak things pounded
I put this kid below the floorboards…to show I leave him grounded
good bar, nice metaphor, the concept has been used before but still a good bar
Rascal spits waste…but nothing that piles up near grimy material
I leave your scripts spaced…rascal your wackness aint likely arterial
ok ending.. the set up on it was nice, the follow through was alright but could have held more of a punch
Good to see cats using a rhyme scheme, the ABCD pattern was ok, lol didja pick that off of RM? anyways that helped your verse out alot. the punchs were alright and could have used more personals on it but its alright. the metaphors were decent. better connections would have helped you alot.
Time to set up on to the Stage,
Time for us to Lyricaly Engage./
opening was weak Rascal.. You could have used punchs here, streched your bar out more to add in disses
So i Check 1, Check 2 tap on the mic,
I dont use my fists so were gona Lyrically fite./
this bar was weak as far as punchs went but your connecting which is good. IE your flowing about on subject in the First bar and continueing it in the next. Your story telling and THAT makes a verse dope when used in battles it becomes deadly
Ur lyrics wil get played more than tekken tag,
Ur verse misses punches like a burgular with no bag.
eh, started losing it.. but for a minute there it was dope. concept is a little played, and these aint hard bars. there straight punchs but not hard. using similies really, could have worked a better connection to make it dope
Your verses are HA...i told u u're bad no need to Snub me
No point in tellin you how wack u r, when ur verse.. dus it for me !/
good follow through rascal, nice punch a little play on the subject but good for this battle.. setup could have used a litle more inthe punchs strength and direction
Iwanna hit you hard and go for the Knock out,*1
There gonna hit you so hard you'd think its a black out!/
flow could have been worked better here. follow through wasnt really much, good connection through the lines except there not dissing
I'm merking you with only 10lines.. im sorri bout that and you can't do a thing,
Your wack and until your six feet under.. the fat lady will carry on to sing./
ok bar, strech compaired to the rest but it was alright. punches could have been more.
Im done time to put down the fucking mic,
Hit you with one last punch... wishin you good nite..
good and bad ending.. no it wasnt hitting with one last punch and two it was alright because it went with the opening. needed punchs here though
ok you need to rework your style some, you jump back and forth but none of it really flows right and it end up looking like you pieced isht together. the style how you ended and begun with were dope because it was like a stroy.. the story telling ability is dope espiecaly in battles. but you lacked punchs through.. the middle section of your verse, needed more direction better punch with better connections through the verse to really help it.
vote- Mr. Tokes
Came off with better rhyme scheme better punchs, had alot nicer structure and his metaphors came off better.
Peep this and drop an honest vote then ill come back an Poll vote
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115298
Dude wernt your pole vote ment to be for me????????
uppin' yo
i like rascals choice of words but he didn't aim them towards his opponent so that seriously cossed him the battle cuz his first 5 lines was real weak so i'm goin' wit' toke he wasn't all that impressive but he came harder than his opponent
vote-TOKE
I beat this little rascal…these pounds make you go dizzy
You come with brittle parcels…why think your flow hits me
opening was ok.. set was nice i though, follow through could have been a little better and had more connectiong through the lines
This kids spits are falling…he’ll never pick his remains up
These quick bars mauling…rascals ended when I defame luck
good rhyme scheme your going for ABCD not bad, always sounds good in a flow for text.. Your follow through could have been more directed and hit with a little more punch
I’m fighting a gay with sick mischief ways…but kid you aint ill
I make his writings amaze…when I hit through his lame spills
likes your set here. wasnt bad played but wasnt bad. i think you could have worked the follow through to be really sick with a diffrent concept for it
Why come open handing…its like hes failed to give anything sick
Your like a slow pen landing…the way you squirt many things shit
alright bar.. the 2nd part of the follow through could have been better you could have used a better concept. follow wasnt bad
I make your wacks ways crash…to show your rate dont pass all
Rascal dont think you lay flash…you should rename to brasscal
nice flow on this. punchs were alright, could have used a little more though
You make more bores…bout time you get your weak things pounded
I put this kid below the floorboards…to show I leave him grounded
good bar, nice metaphor, the concept has been used before but still a good bar
Rascal spits waste…but nothing that piles up near grimy material
I leave your scripts spaced…rascal your wackness aint likely arterial
ok ending.. the set up on it was nice, the follow through was alright but could have held more of a punch
Good to see cats using a rhyme scheme, the ABCD pattern was ok, lol didja pick that off of RM? anyways that helped your verse out alot. the punchs were alright and could have used more personals on it but its alright. the metaphors were decent. better connections would have helped you alot.
Time to set up on to the Stage,
Time for us to Lyricaly Engage./
opening was weak Rascal.. You could have used punchs here, streched your bar out more to add in disses
So i Check 1, Check 2 tap on the mic,
I dont use my fists so were gona Lyrically fite./
this bar was weak as far as punchs went but your connecting which is good. IE your flowing about on subject in the First bar and continueing it in the next. Your story telling and THAT makes a verse dope when used in battles it becomes deadly
Ur lyrics wil get played more than tekken tag,
Ur verse misses punches like a burgular with no bag.
eh, started losing it.. but for a minute there it was dope. concept is a little played, and these aint hard bars. there straight punchs but not hard. using similies really, could have worked a better connection to make it dope
Your verses are HA...i told u u're bad no need to Snub me
No point in tellin you how wack u r, when ur verse.. dus it for me !/
good follow through rascal, nice punch a little play on the subject but good for this battle.. setup could have used a litle more inthe punchs strength and direction
Iwanna hit you hard and go for the Knock out,*1
There gonna hit you so hard you'd think its a black out!/
flow could have been worked better here. follow through wasnt really much, good connection through the lines except there not dissing
I'm merking you with only 10lines.. im sorri bout that and you can't do a thing,
Your wack and until your six feet under.. the fat lady will carry on to sing./
ok bar, strech compaired to the rest but it was alright. punches could have been more.
Im done time to put down the fucking mic,
Hit you with one last punch... wishin you good nite..
good and bad ending.. no it wasnt hitting with one last punch and two it was alright because it went with the opening. needed punchs here though
ok you need to rework your style some, you jump back and forth but none of it really flows right and it end up looking like you pieced isht together. the style how you ended and begun with were dope because it was like a stroy.. the story telling ability is dope espiecaly in battles. but you lacked punchs through.. the middle section of your verse, needed more direction better punch with better connections through the verse to really help it.
vote- Mr. Tokes
Came off with better rhyme scheme better punchs, had alot nicer structure and his metaphors came off better.