Before I begin.. Please excuse my critique.. im not one to boast on how good you did.
First of all.. I thought it should have been a bit deeper.. the end ended too abruptly. You should have made the ending come gradually. Secondly, make sure you stay consistent with your flow, you seemed to have fallen off a bit here and there. Overall don't get me wrong... this was a nice piece.. I just didn't like it as much as everyone else. You have the potential to be a really good writer. Just take criticism in a mature fashion and you'll do great. Good luck in the future im sure I'll be seeing you around.
Nice drop though.. better than quite a few I've seen today.
