Ok
se7en ya whack im bout to boil n bubble you,
if ya had an identical twin u couldnt get a double-you,(W-Win)
you had an alright follow for an opening, cept your set up could have came out with a better connection, and more directed punch
cauz ya rekord is L's and battles with herbs,
white rapper hard form NC the hickville suburbs,
kind of falling off here,the punchs are there yes, and an ok attemp at a personal but its not that hard.. Sort of played with the that type of drug wordplay
and i heard 50 cent wus everything about you,
so call me bigbuck in the game im double ya value,
good line, you had a nice connection with the bar your set up had an ok concept to it, but your follow through could have hit a little more directed with strength
spittin ill is somethin you couldnt so in hospitals,
and ima throw up a closer in this to top-it-all,
i saw what you were going for in this but i think your wording might throw people off. Its an ok bar, the follow through was alight, good connection
my lines start low them come to peeks like inclines,
as if i wus breakin ya hands one finger at a time,
this bar would have been dope if you would have spent a little more time on it, the follow through needed a little more i thought
I pierced ya wit my lyrics so your gettin infected,
I cant battle this kid he keeps lookin at me and gettin erected,
ok your set up is good and bad, it sort of works towards him ina since. as for the follow through the metaphor is alright, but you could have spent a little more time on it
havin ya stomach disected, cauz ya visionz are bein corrupted,
your like an inactive volcano... ya skill-less and never erupted,
Good metaphor in the first line, your follow through isnt bad either but wording could have made the direction more on adding some strength
and the kid in ya crew shoulda made the name... unknow-skillz,
cauz all of ya is whack... and i murded ya kid with Ink n Quill...
the ending here could have been better, your attemped at a personal is alright but coulda had more. Your follow through is good metaphor, ok punch
Over all your verse was alright, some subjects could have been improved, the structure was decent and it follow alright. Could have used a few more multis in your verse but thats ok, Metaphors werent bad but some came off played.
Punchs- 3
Rhyme scheme- 3
Multis- 1
metaphors- 3
Personals- 2
12/25
Here goes an example, of wat rap would be wit Eddie Hascle
From beaver to cleaver, how can Syanidal’s crew be so mishandled
you started with a nice opening. the metaphor shows a good connection and your punchs is decent but could have brought more
So I’ll handle this pest, who walks around wit a open chests
If you check into his gender, it says vagina and small breasts
[b lol good follow through the metaphor is alright, the setup could have been better. your wording of choice is alright but could have been diffrent to help direction[/b]
Yey I told fact not fiction, so this bitch doesn’t need to start bitchin’
Only time this kid get’s excited is when his vagina stops itchin’
your setup isnt the greatest, it has alright connection but not much strength, your follow through isnt that hard, but makes for an alright bar
You like spittin’ and hittin’, but you forget to tell the truth
That you give head to your crew, till your face turns blue
the strength in this bar isnt the greatest. the connection isnt really there and it lacks a metaphor compaired.
You, do know that, your style is all choppy and mismatched
He forgot to pull his panties up, but I guess he “accidentally” miss that
the attemped at the personal punch was alright but didnt come off with enough strength. The follow through is a good connection to other lines,
My verse is pure spit, his is pre-written by him and his friend
You gave erections to him, so you truly are friendz to the end
the set was an alright punch, but didnt come with a whoel lot of direction or strength, the follow through was good, metaphor was alright but didnt have strength
Try to bend me, but you done had your Visions all Corrupted
So I’ll leave this kid feeling unloved, like he's already been abducted
this bar could have came off alot better. there isnt much strength and the metaphor isnt that good. needed a little more direction as a punch
Over all you had an ok verse, it started to fall off a little bit at the end but you hit with some good punchs, personals could have been a little harder but your metaphors are alright,could have used a multi or two.
Punchs- 4
Rhyme scheme- 4
Multis- 3
metaphors- 1
Personals- 2
14/25
vote= se7evn
He came out with better metaphors and harder punchs in the end.
