Inactive...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bounce

Kobra, Industry I left feed on your OM, try to understand where I'm coming from, I'm harder on those I give two shits about...

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No-hard feelings, I like the honest feedback you're absolutely right thats what I need to improve. I wrote that piece a while back, I was still in the 'I'm better than everyone, yall can't touch me' no-weight phase. I like to believe my style has improved at least a little bit since then. I would assume you're very busy, but still I'll ask anyways... I recently lost this battle, I thought I had it locked, apparently not. Could you take a quick look at my verse and briefly point out some errors and what I could have done to win it?
heres the link:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=192692

i vote for godds soldier in the crew

lol

yo can i tryout

god ur down dawg i say u in

spit we'll see whut u got pimp

iight thnx man can u add my name to the crew list?

yo gods soldiers

double rr will when he gets online

yo letz go recruit b

iight one sec

im gods soldiers friend

how many lines

My flow's amazing, I'm over creative
an addiction to ink and what dope is to pages
Holy forsaken soul who's totally vocally blazing
with no underground I'd be alone in the basement
Throwing up statements, honing word placement
down to a fine art and so dope that it's blatant
Spitting sick shit until the oceans are vacant
and back's tremor like slow motion earth quaking
Spoken word, patron saint of save the day
with a million thoughts, and a million ways to say .. IM THE MAN!!!! AHA.

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