Elevation Thread.

thnx 4 the feed j-hull-ur piece was cool as well-u maybe need to center it and use more description and vocab but this is just a cypher so it was nice---but if it was an open mic then u should probably do those things i jus said

next topi j-hull?

t0pic: at tha community fairgrounds

what the fuck is at the community fairgrounds?

jhull that was good stuff. like the flow and structure. im starting out myself and i dunno what tips i cna really give you other than dont stop what your doing

Topic: At the fairgrounds (hope i do this right)
yo im at the fair with my girl playin all sorts of games
this kid steps up to me, i think his name was james
last thought i had was about the bullet in my gut
someone tellin me, yo birhan, your diggin yourself a rut
but whatever thats just my luck
not protecting my girl this moment sucks
so i just got clapped in the middle of these grounds
people screaming and running in circles, round and round
the world turns but i hear sirens making sounds
death approaches and no one pays attention
my soul thinks it has wings but i got no choice for ascension
so jipped out of heaven and earth, all i do is take my last breath of air
nothing left in my mind other than the thought. lifes not fair

Next Topic: you just found the person who killed your parents

decent verse..need more elevation but it was iiight

im feelin like batman cause i lost my parents at a young age
hard to grow up with that so i my chest is filled up wit rage
at times i use it as inspiration to put ryhmes on my page
wear a t-shirt wit they pic when im op on stage......
had graduated with honors but now making minimum wage
try to stop it but to relieve my self of pain i blaze
never deal with regular boogy just inhale the haze
pick up the pen and hope to god there'll be better dayz
whats to say...when u lost two figures that tought u in many ways
visit the graveyard to give flowers and sit where they lay
i was a Jay- z type of kid cause i chose homework when it was time to play
so until this very moment they constantly on my mind all day


n/t= consequences

it was nice.. i wasnt feelin da beginning part though but everything else was straight

sometimes i think about da consequence of my actions
and whats instore for me whats in da box im unpacking
will i die b4 it comes or will dat be da consequence
i dont know cuz most shit in life dont make alot of sense
what goes around comes around im starting to wonder now
i got to much shit above my head like a fucking thunder cloud
people reap what they sow i just teach what i know
my consequences is eating me alive from da depths of my soul

topic=found ya mom in da bed with ya bestfriend

i thought yours had a good structure but it kind of die'd down in the end you just need a stronger punch.

Topic: found ya mum in bed wit ya best friend

my eyes must be tricking me, or its just pretend
feelings merge into one, thoughts in one begin to blend
this was the person i chose to befriend
that backstabbed me in the bitter end
i must kill and get revenge
thats the only way to ascend
this moment i cant comprehend
so if you get a friend dont let them meet your folks thats what i reccommend
with 4 broken bones is how i chose to send
my ex best friend, the last thing i saw of him was his tail end
screw dogs. they aint mans best friend.

Next Topic: you found your cat and dog fucking

woke up to purring and growling
i woke up wilding
my dog and cat was fucking and they both was smiling
this isnt right aint this a sin
and against somebodies religion
they aint stop they kept going even switched da position
had an appointment with a sphyciatrist but i never went
man i aint been right eversince

topic=da sun is fallen

hate to post off topic but someone got any tips for my post

da one u need to work on your rhyming better . you got good imagery i think but just get a better punch as well

ill try to diss though
and stay on topic
dun forget to rate this too

Da one thinks his skills are apallin'
but hes my opposition and i'll crush him as if i was stalin
the russain leader now callin
the red sun is fallin
here and now in your face
tryin to tell ya your out place
ya cant rap your a disgrace
i fall and rap and you stay in your place
but this sun can fly so i wont hit this base
but your a whole nother case
no rap skills and no taste
if my skills are like CAPITALS ande elevated
your rhymes are lower case
my raps are down to earth, yours come from outter space
the medal from your defeat aint even in my trophy case
i hate to be so harsh, but you shouldnt be here in the first place

.........cause the sun is fallin bitch, RUN!!


next topic: why da-one shouldn't rap :P

shit was straight better than i thought it would be

da-one shouldn't rap cuz cant nobody else see'em
only way he'll lose even da fukin judge cheat'em
BIRHAN couldnt beat'em so his ass got off line
coward ass nigga i'll leave his body inside a chalk line
you sweat like da cream in da middle of da cookie
couldnt eat me even if i was pussy

topic= locked in a casket

im tired of feeling locked in a casket
no cash, spent before i get the check
sick of not having the money for rent
im ready to blow a gasket
bein locked in this casket
now i wish i could make money stretch like elastic
i would throw away the plastic
if was rich i would buy every pair of reebok classics
douse them in acid and toss in lake placid
but im stuck in this casket for ever everlastin

nt houdini's great escape from the hood

that was iight...on a kid level with your ryhmin and didnt make sense but it was iight...gotta elevate

since the days of a tounging i been in the hood buggin
heard it all..like bitches askin me to be they husband
gettin shot and stabed and locked up in the streetz
wasnt me....so i feel back and put words on the beat
and made music to release pain from my wound
all thou the hood is what made me blow up this soon
playing the block risking my life for change but its all good
cause now for my next trick im a escape out the hood


n/t=meetin your girls parents

i done met her mom but damn man her dads next
so nervous if we fuck now im sure it'll be bad sex
palms sweaty not ready to meet this girl pops
we waiting together she kisses "what da fuck girls stop"
r u tryin to get my ass killed your pops will be in here soon
how about this you sit on da other side of da room
ah damn there he is.....i dont know what to say
is he switching...i was worried for nuthin this man is gay

next topic:fighting a pittbull with a Q-tip

u supposed to leave feed back homie but its all good