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the word game make spirits stop an look an AWE
walking on the block and the OG's even drop they jaws
been in another state of mind for a minute but now im back
to murk the site on my level and play the center like shaq
holding my own even when i was here constantly dropping
but now i spend more time on the blocks and popping
spreadin bricks over the hood and doubling my cake
any niiga cross me and he'll be looked at in a wake
dont trust nobody and stick to myself to get mines
even for me to go to sleep i gotta hold two nines
dudes want a nigga dead cause im running shit
back on the site and i aint nothing to fuck wit
watching my back for the lurkers seeking my blood
a GOD to the game cause i stay dry during a flood
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all men in fear cuz they know the end is near
loco vocal's blew up the hemisphere
you just a lil girl thats been a queer...
a confrence...
of thugs & they accomplice..
quick ta leave ya unconscious
a congress, accounts less
then accountant's
gettin they job accomplished....
abandon my post
leave ya stranded and ghost,
challenge the west side,
make the vest slide
off ya chest, wit da tech nine...
ya'll know my text
and yet sum chose ta flex
actin hard like they pose a threat
leave ya hacked N sccared wit a broken neck...
coded red....explode da corroded dead
chokehold da comode wit bread
coated headd..control'd da congo
with counsil's of consoles.. count souls....
steppin ta me be ya death sentence
left leg, limp and knee, and the rest dented...
run wit dudes that sell weed & drugs
i've defeated thugs wit heated slugs
that bout ta come meet ya mug
neva was the type that needed the hugs
clever on da mic like thieves from above
then -cum deep in ya lungs-
mission completed and done.....
compared ta me ya... soundin foolish
im hot like i just shot up the town wit... two clips
run scared or i'll leave ya.. clowns in ruins
amongst da cloud n fumes...
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Leave feedback... Then Leave a topic...
Is that so hard?
Feedback: First of all, ya flow was all right. you need to work much on the emtion and imagery put into a topical write. Using big words is good but you need to put more feeling like your droppiing for something. You need much elevation kid. I would look at the other topical battlers verses and see how they really put in to their verse. You should do that.
Next Topic: Liability
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[B]Feedback: Talk bout leavin a verse you only left feedback dickwad!
So I think you need to spit to a topic!
Or diss a mutha fucka!
Paramik, fuck ya topic that shits seemin wack and boring...
I could sleep through that writing, matter fact you would hear me snoring...
See what you mutha fuckaz don't know is I was one of tha first on this shit to show...
I was one of tha first to flow...
But being truthful, I forgot my name and password though...
Call me stupid, but you gonna see that I'm ruthless...
Cause when I'm done wit you ya gonna be literally useless...
Lyrically knock ya toothless...
Come on lets hear you spit...
Nah...nevermind don't do it...
Your shit's pussy, and I don't like Tunafish//
Topic: witnessing Garth Brooks battle Pac'
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the last 6 lines were pretty tight, why did you wait so long to come that hard for? the first part seems unnecesary...startin off weak but the last six redeemed the verse
Yo coming home from work I was mad tired
Thought I might have dreamed up what had transpired
Pulled on my block and jumped out the car in shock
A guitar wielding Garth Brooks was battling Tupac
Mak was holding a glock but looked real terse
As expected when ressurected his raps were much worse
GB dispersed his verse, shit all over "Bomb First"
Cursed Pac, sent the nigga packin
On Hennessy in Tennessee this type of shit can happen
This Garth hater made Lord Brooks go Darth Vader
Played "Your mom wouldn't buy your albums if you paid her
'Thug Life' was boring, by Makaveli I was snoring
And I'm up six to nil if yo bitch ass is still scoring"
Woke up thinking, had this all really occured?
Or has drinkin on the job got me psychologly disturbed...
Next Topic: trench warfare
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Nice. I liked it. The flow and story line were both on point. Nice touch having Garth Brooks win against Pac. Thats what tippin at lunch time will get ya. On the real though...I have nothing bad to say. A solid addition to this post.
Trench Warfare
It rained in the desert, for the first time in four years
I was hearin' wispered this and that..its because there here..
They knocked down our tallest steeple, killed hundreds that we loved
We came to save no people, we were on a trail of blood.
I've killed nine men since then, in seven different ways
Me and J been in this trench, for 20 fuckin' days.
One canteen of water left, one filled up with piss
My last cigarette? Two days ago, Momma said they'd be days like this.
"Shhh...Yo get the fuck down! Johnson whats that sound"
"I don't know man just a little click.."
"Yo Fuck! J, ON THE GROUND!"
My ears popped I saw the flash, Just then he pushed me down.
I'm sure old dogs will tell you, "In the trenches men are made"
But no one told Lance Corporal Johnson to jump on that grenade.
Next Topic: Beans, bullets and bad guys
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niggas be neglecting the fact that they be protecting they raps
but they aint acceptin the fact that my beans leave wholes in your 6 pack
homie better fall back when i reach back and PULL-IT
.....cause even my WATER GUN spit BULLETS
hated be all and loved by none so im considered one of the bad guys
my gunz leave dudes feeling all salty and shit like i threw out french fries
yeah ay yo i take tragic measures to punish the opposition man
know where i stand as a HUSTLA so i know where I STAND
ya understand......im a grimey mcee, cut your wrist off
.................................and smack you with your own HAND
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yo good verse, i didn't expect anything less from you man. stay up
Rivalary
yo...
me n this kid had a rivalary, every time we'd see, eachother we'd say you'll die N bleed, better yet cry n scream...
we constantlly have bouts with flem, from our fountain pen, fuck fake shouts from men,
ever since our early lifestyle, we would fight wild, rival's cuz we could write foul
and of course we would beef, we was the only team that could compete, even tho there was sum that would try n come meet, even tho they would cry PLEADS,
finally i killed that fuck cuz i make the best bleed, and when the blessed speaks, i sex freaks, others just fresh meat
n/t: East n WEst
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Sit in the east think about the west
How both sides lost there best
See when pac died, we all cried
Spent days in sorrow, "He's Alive" people lied
The west lost not only an artist but a inspiration
Some one who had an effect, which ent cross all nation
Damn we miss ya and remeber ya song homie
Cryin out loud "How long will ya mourn me"
AS for the east, a shadowy beast of death had rised
Took away Big, another mufucka died
We couldn't believe whne we heard the news
People sittin gettin sick and blues
No one knew who murdered, there were no clues
Cept the fact that biggi was gone
WE all remembered his song, started ta mourn
Still can't believ Biggie go hit
But remember, only "Skys the limit"
N/T: Losing a loved one
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mak-p that was dope u just need a bit more creativeness a bit more vocab that type of stuff.......
that's what it is--my verse is coming momentarily
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topic-losing a loved one
as i sit in the hospial-as uncle johhny lies
i hope that this predicament gets solved and no-one dies
i start to cry and then i realize...
that all good things end and reveal a better circumstance
just as when a loved one dies there happiness will enhance
even if u don't see them and u grieve on their part
they no longer have the burden of-life on their heart
so as my uncle johhny calls me in and says his last word
i swear i see from the sky descend-----a beautiful white bird
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next topic--
soaring on seared wings
(flying with burning wings)
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Flow, I thought it was a very dope rhyme/poem
It was very discriptive and deep
I could relate to it, cause I've lost many loved ones
Some would say I'm flying but I'ma tell you I'm gliding...
In tha air abiding by what God has provided me...
These wings that have got me so far...
In tha dark night you make a wish apon a shooting star...
I wish I could answer your prayers but I'm falling myself...
Got where I got cause I thought I wouldn't need any help...
You see these wings aren't working cause I miss-used them perfectly...
If I could do it all again I promise it would change, that it certainly...
I would approach the oppurtunity at all different angles...
And promise to be each and every one of ya'll's angel//
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topic: at the community fairgrounds
