Love y'all man hey I'll log in to vote when I have time but hopefully tonight or tomorrow I'll see everyone is done and I'll vote
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Love y'all man hey I'll log in to vote when I have time but hopefully tonight or tomorrow I'll see everyone is done and I'll vote
Lmaooo mann i think you may have me confused with Headless, cuz i don’t think i knew who you were until after you voted. i did question the validity of your vote though cuz you weren’t participating in the league & in the past leagues i’ve been in only battlers on the roster we’re allowed to vote. i never thought you were Slayerr though, but i admit it’s something i would say to be petty hahaha.Quote:
Originally Posted by Virbius
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:laugh::laugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
yoooo Headless Verseman was a character. my mistake has always been that i’m way too respectful to the legacy that niggas carry, so i be ignoring egregious behavior. but when dude started dropping hard R’s & i found out he ain't have the correct build for that type of language i knew i couldn’t stick up for homes any longer lmfao.
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lmaoooo i don’t know about all that but i have run a few pockets in my time. and no, nothing to do with pocket pool by proxy :laugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by EyeDealIstic
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Ahahahahahahahahahahaahh aaaaaaaight bro, bet. i will share it, only cuz your stipulations are like offers one cannot refuse. to be honest though, i was quite enjoying people accusing me of being a white dork who deserves to die for saying nigga :laugh::laugh::laugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Bag Mandela
i’ll share the video here in a couple hours.
:salute:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ion Metatron
The God Emcee Himself. niggas know him by many names. Extreme Venom. Ion Metatron. The OG Murderous Mic Mercenary. that man Platinum Pistolz haaaaaan.
maaan back in the rapmusic . com days when i was tryna elevate my text game, this was one of the dudes whose formats i studied to become the writer i am today. respect family!
crazy how you came back at this time, cuz this mixtape Bag is producing needs that street shit you be rockin :shoot:
bouta be an even crazier year now.
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also, to the RW niggas, i been busy as hell helping my folks move from the house they lived/operated business in for 25 years so i been lurkin but not posting much. i’ma catch up on votes later on with MV v Bag & Mal v Faq but i just wanna say, the verses i been reading lately are fuckin stupendous :shoot:
extra extra shoutout to @mal diction for takin niggas’ constructive criticism & unleashing complete hell on @FaQEyeReddit . that battle is fucking insane with the punches y’all traded HOT DAMN. def one my favorite battles of the whole tournament. Faq a hard dude to compete with cuz he stay training to elevate so voting on that shit gonna be hard as fuck but i’m here for it.
now to put the finishing touches on my verse for the homie Virbius. shit tense lmao. both our undefeated streaks on the line this bouta be a classic.
see you niggas at game time :boxing:
I can't wait to see yalls vs
I spent so long on the toilet whilst voting on the virb and jack battle that by time I stood up my pins and needles needed about 10 mins to sort themselves out
Semi final is up, @Virbius let me know if you want a GPT battle
:laugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
the only votes i trust are votes coming from those who vote while shitting lmao.
my niggas my bad i ain’t get to vote, it’s not for lack of trying. been swamped between my parents move & my own personal obligations so i been literally falling asleep tryna write votes & verses. i almost missed the deadline for posting my last verse due to this lmao.
i’m determined to see everything through though, i just gotta lock down some recreational time so i can enjoy the craft, cuz i the last thing i’d want is to for this exhaustion to start making me feel like writing is a burden.
oh and without further ado.. the video that Bag was talking about lol:
https://youtu.be/mJnDhdu1WhY?feature=shared
Oh you nearly fell asleep writing your verse? What a coincidence, I nearly fell asleep reading it.
J/k, shit was fire. I thought you might’ve won that round. That vid’s nuts too, thanks for sharing. What a performance. Is that a Stoupe beat? Sounds like it’d fit on JMT Visions of Gandhi album (or a Cannibus Rip The Jacker instrumental I guess).
I’ve had very little motivation all tourney but that virb jack battle has given me an itch @Bag Mandela fancy an exhibition match or something?
Also if anyone wants a video battle soon hit me up
Yeah I'm down for an exhibition, I've got a load of shit to do tonight but I'll post it up tomorrow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
@Jack Hallows holy shit I didn't think you'd actually drop it haha a lot of people would've dropped that the first chance they got, gotta respect the modesty. I'll stick to my word and drop this cringeu as fuck vid soon as I find it, it'll at least give Slayerr. something to cook me for
how many ppl know what "cut the fat" means?
You’re truly a waste and there’s only room to cut the fat like a packed carQuote:
"Cut the fat" means to remove or reduce unnecessary or wasteful elements, often used in the context of streamlining a business or project, or in writing to make it more concise. It can also refer to eliminating non-essential parts of something, like trimming fat off meat.
...
or the meaning of "shot"(drink) and "bar"(club) in this line:
Left with battle scars. Only one shot needed, cus I’m clever the way I handle bars.
it's my fault but i didnt think an explanation would be need for most of my verse, but when some one points out something that doesnt make sense, in my rhyme, i gotta say somethingQuote:
The Faq’s are, you’re wack tard, while I’m unseen like a fenced-in backyard
You’re truly a waste and there’s only room to cut the fat like a packed car
flowed nicely, the idea of kicking fatties out the whip is joke too
@YG i started not to give you notice... but when you quote the explanation of my opponent's verse ,, it gets obvious that you didnt read the verses.. dont bother going back and forth.. you dissed me a few pages back in this chat.. you obviously think my site battle record means something... i know what i sound like and dont need you to co-sign
if you want to audio battle i'm all in... the mods can set it up in this forum
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Whoa!!! you blazed itQuote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hallows
Jack!!! ...lol nerves and breath control dont mix..lol... i did something similar on my first tour in Iraq ...only I recited a poem
So you're the dude who played nude badmitton with @John Noir and six other dudes?Quote:
Originally Posted by mal diction
I was warned.
Yo, wtf am I watching? This is some next level shit, Jack. Smoking poppy seeds. Some crazy shit in there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hallows
@Virbius , it's an Immortal Technique beat: Point of No Return. Produced by Southpaw, apparently. But yeah, definitely a good choice beat. Even with the beat title and being dropped in a war zone..
@Jack Hallows , it makes me wonder why you don't even use more gun bars or all this war related stuff in your rhymes, but at the same time the type of shit you see there is probably not something to use lightly for some online battle shit. Same goes for Mal, I guess, if he was in Iraq.
fuck im battling jack noooooooo hey this was fun i am srry i been so mia but lets close out strong
Holy shit that was fire, you’ve got some serious lung capacity there boyoQuote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hallows
That's you in the video? Well, you win. That's the hardest rap video on the net.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hallows
I think most people know what cutting / trimming the fat means, I thought it was a simile IE cutting the fat in that sense then being compared to kicking fat people out the car if its full, I fuck with it. I didn't think the shot / bars thing was too crazy & I've heard it before so not sure if I commented on it. I think I caught everything in both verses but we're in a shitty position of having a small amount of voters so you're not getting a full spectrum of viewpoints & style preferences.Quote:
Originally Posted by mal diction
In text I don’t like punches that end on a similie, I’ve always found it the easy way out and less impactful than incorporating it into the flip but that’s just me. Works in audio coz u have less wiggle room
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The only issue with it is it’s too pixelated to confirm he’s really blackQuote:
Originally Posted by EyeDealIstic
@Slayerr
you getting f***ed over like the ugly girl in a threesome
it's really not a simile when the predicate is metaphored or an entendre
lol burn #Ouch..:laugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Virbius
:laugh::laugh::laugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
Damn.Quote:
Originally Posted by mal diction
I think it's technically still a simile, but super dope nonetheless. I don't get what's so bad about similes, though. I think they've been an integral part of rap since the beginning. "Sharp like razor, clean like soap. The simplest metaphors be the dope" [sic].
That’s also not the bar in question but imma just use it as an example what I mean (and I’m by no means a hard hitting wordage expert)
But to me something like “you living like the ugly girl in a three some the way u always get fucked over” hits harder to me than ending it with like the ugly girl in the threesome - idk just stings more and to me a similie is just the concept of the bar which you then need to word to have the biggest impact possible but it’s all personal preference init
I think similes tend to be the easiest way to frame comparison bars so maybe the technique has been overused to the point it comes across as a bit passé.
Just dropping the ‘like’ and stating it as a direct metaphor seems to be in favour nowadays. The problem with that is it can result in some pretty weird statements like these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhPD0gPYugw
still a simileQuote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
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you getting f***ed over; you just the ugly girl in a threesomeQuote:
Originally Posted by Virbius
i get that
Yes, but the bar doesn’t end on a similie, which is my point. like a popped ballon it falls flatQuote:
Originally Posted by mal diction
It’s like in writing literature you can speak in active or passive voice, in this scenario, active it’s making the bar happen, passive - it’s happening to the bar. I think not ending a flip on a similie is more active and impactful
No, your issue with the pixelations is you can't zoom into his crotch to estimate his "dimensions".Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
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Hopefully you helped the other fellow finish before you did.Quote:
Originally Posted by Virbius
I’m guessing 5.56Quote:
Originally Posted by EyeDealIstic
If you actually messaged the man to ask about length and girth I wouldn't be shocked but would be disappointed in you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mal diction
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
The Faq’s are, you’re wack tard, while I’m unseen like a fenced-in backyard
You’re truly a waste and there’s only room to cut the fat like a packed car
So I'll leave with this, or leave you with that. You ain't seeing me in battle raps.
Battle’s a wrap. You only come close but are not seeing this heat like candle wax.
all but one simile in my verse had double meanings... and whether like is said first or last, it's still a simile... plus i've always felt a properly phrased sim hits harder than a metaphor/entendre
this site, to me, lacks understanding of punchlines: you guys only feel an entendre is the way to go, and it gets played
when i started textceeing poetry(Saul Williams: look him up) and metaphors were the way to go... i guess it's just a phase you guys are going through or a phase we have to go through to evolve as better writers...
and dont think i'm taking the easy way out by typing similes bc i usually keystyle my verses; so it's the first thing that comes to mind
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plus this is just long-winded.. and doesnt make senseQuote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
All personal preference at the end of the day init
Yeah, I definitely prefer similies to all those wierd "I'm a this and that" statements. I also think straight up poetry and metaphors are dope, but then it also has to be good. Battle rap in general favours double entendres because otherwise people would just be on stage saying how they would kill a dude over and over again with no real interest or innovation. Basically, because the format is so tight: Kill the other MC, there needs to be a second layer focusing on the language itself. And this doesn't exclude poetry and metaphor on top of that. I think it's possible to spit something poetic in a battle rap context, although the format itself is very contrived. But the poetic ideas then usually emmanates from the figurative level or the interplay between the denotative and figurative level, as well as the actual sound and flow of the language. E.g. Bender's "you've been lying on those tracks like a damsel in distress" comes to mind: The very use of "damsel in distress" has a poetic flair to it, and how well the figurative and denotative levels both make perfect sense is just delicious. But yeah, this is actually quite like old school rap. @Slayerr , you really think the simile in that bar, for instance, make it worse? "You've been lying on those tracks: You're a damsel in distress" e.g. repeats the pronoun, and "Like a damsell in distress you've been lying on those tracks" kind of messes up the surprise "punchline effect" of rhyming on the compound concept "damsel in distress". I think similes are also just mainly there to make it rhyme and flow in a good way. Like you said, it also makes sense in audio, but to me text is basically just a blueprint for audio, so in that sense it's the same thing.
Yeah I get what you mean that in that instants a similie works better than my way as it’s worded there. lying on the tracks is a pretty sick flip and that’s the part of the bar for me I’d dig, the similie at the end is just to make the flip work both ways and I don’t think it stings but does make you think back to the flip so I rate that. However I’m sure someone could rewrite that bar to hit harder than it currently does without a similie ending.
On a side note I fuck with the fact we can all have these convos without someone going all fresh about it because we’ve all come through in different eras of text battling and we’ve all got very different styles because of it and with the lack of active voters it gives a better understanding as why everyone feels and votes the way they do and how a bar is likely to be perceived by the small audience. Ive not fucked with some of the voting but understood it’s just likely down to this. Whilst I don’t think we’re gonna reinvent text battling but what happens here between us all is likely to be the meta on this site going forward until more people come and styles preferences change again. Fwiw I’ve fucked with jack and mal used to vote against me as I got very lazy with just a rhyming pun and realised unless I started throwing more Multis in and at least try to tighten the flow I’m gonna start every battle 0-2 down and I’ve become a better writer because of it and it’s more challenging and rewarding
I suppose it comes down to a preference for surprise or anticipation. Shaman mentioned putting the ‘like’ part of the simile first ruining the surprise, but to me it’s the opposite. Putting the simile before the double entendre takes the reader through a more satisfying arc of resolution, eg. “Why’s it like the ugly girl in a threesome? oh fucked over, like sex above. That’s clever”.Quote:
But to me something like “you living like the ugly girl in a three some the way u always get fucked over” hits harder to me than ending it with like the ugly girl in a threesome.
The other way around you probably won’t (unless you’re genre savvy) see the entendre until the end of the bar. You’d get to the end and then realise that the part you read before actually had a second meaning which you missed. It can be a neat surprise but there’s less of an arc to the resolution and it can make the reader feel stupid which is counterproductive.
I also think there’s something to be said for such a great word play that it fit so seemlessly you didn’t realise there’s a second meaning initially. Lunar c had a really dope tripple one back in the day “grinding so hard like I’m working in a sweat shop so a label invest” seemed like every time I heard that bar I caught another part of it and blew my mindQuote:
Originally Posted by Virbius
But that’s also an issue with text no voter is going to re read a bar over and over like they would listen to a song
This is a bit demoralizing but very true, I'll rewatch rap battles but rarely read old text battles.Quote:
Originally Posted by Slayerr.
A lot of the types of bars in battles are reworked or rearranged similes, or sit somewhere in between simile & metaphor, "codeword: wheel bearings (what that mean?) we'll get greased up & rub our balls together" is basically "we'll get greased up & rub our balls together like wheel bearings" but one obviously reads better than the other. Some things work better as plain old similes though.
There's obviously no one-size fits all model. Some things work better as metaphors, some as similes, some where the simili comes before and some after. But I think the overall guide line is the flow and the rhyme schemes. And how easily/natural stuff flows off the tongue. The standard way to use similes was to point out a double meaning with the actual thing you were saying, mostly to make it fit with a rhyme creatively. I.e. Bender is literally saying "you've been lying on those tracks". That's something he would say in real life. He would never say "you're living like a damsel in distress" or something similar cuz it makes absolutely no sense in the real world. So it doesn't really make sense to flip it. Or to say "you're living like the ugly girl in a threesome". Cuz that's not the point. The point is that he's getting fucked over. And then you find a creative way to say that thing that simultaneously rhymes.
I think as battle rap grew, and texts upon texts of rhyme schemes for years and years multiplied, sometimes you just had to flip it to make it fit with a rhyme scheme. And then that became standard, like many things in battle rap that has just become cliché, like flipping letters around or using 9 or 22 or 45 or whatever. But personally I prefer rap that stays as close to something true or natural to say as possible. Like old school rap did. But that's just a preference, ofc.
And on this surprise effect of the punchline: One thing is the natural part of it, but the other is that it's about the rhyme. "Damsel in distress" is an awesome rhyme. "Lying on those tracks" is not. @Virbius , I'm not sure I get what you mean with the arc of resolution. I think most of the time you don't get the full meaning of a bar untill the whole bar has been spat anyway. But I guess there's also a certain cadence in modern battle rap (e.g. from the whole iBattle crowd) with the: "You're like a damsel in distress!! ..." "Why's that?!" "... Cuz you've been lying on those tracks!!" I guess it's just an aesthetic that's quite removed from how rap on beats used to be. And once again, boils down to personal preference.
@Slayerr , I second that it's really cool to be able to have these discussions, and even to know more about how you guys judge battles. I also want to write and judge more bars, but sometimes life just gets in the way. But hopefully, there'll be a surge of activity around here at some point anyway..
@Slayerr
although i dont vote,(cus nobody likes my point of view) i still read and i think, though you feel you've been slacking off, you've gotten mountains better since RIA(rap is alive): one of the best sites i've been to .. just dont be so wordy.. you and FaQ have that problem.. the rhyming part will come.. and if u need help there just lookup rhyme words on google
In fairness I heard @miracle spends a lot of time in the archivesQuote:
Originally Posted by Bag Mandela
Cheers mate I forget about RIA! Used to love that site but in fairness i was 15 years old on there so would hope I’ve got a bit better hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by mal diction
Also you should vote bro, your point of view is a valid as the next man’s
This... all of this not-so-masculine bickering, it's why I don't battle and especially why I don't provide feedback.
This shit is less noble than if you were arguing about who has the cutest purse.