A Disciple's Thread

Did my hair today and noticed another 2 sections/strands been cut. I haven’t talked to the perve who slept me for a pic in 8 months though and my ex think he did even worse than that. I have a feeling it’s a stupid dumb ass bitch who trashed her own royalty over this shit. They all saying be careful cause I’ll catch some charges but why they allowed to then though? Like every single mother fucking time I start to believe it is over I am reminded. How am I supposed to find some coward ass queen bitch in the dark when I can’t even send the shit back or break free. Last night was the first night in YEARS I was able to sleep without tossing and turning or pain and sick shit and like... I’m just to the point of frustration beyond belief. I need 24 hours to think because I’m too angry to make any decisions right now.

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“Hello from the Other Side” :o(

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https://youtu.be/argu957SB8w I’m ok cause I believe in god and us and pac... @Candy is that Australia in the video too? I’m used to the ironies but i suppose it was written maybe. Even the people helping to get me thru without even realizing it. I’m kinda tripping tonight, don’t feel good and gagging again. It’s my moms bday and I feel so bad I had a shot of henny and a nip to calm down. I should’ve just said no. This shit all around is just making some bitch out of me and making me feel so weak... but then I know they couldn’t get thru it (what they put me thru) their damn selves.

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I feel their knife rake down my wrists all the time... I guess they don’t realize I come from suicide. I’m not the one that should have to die over this and definitely not over a weak sick ass bitch like you that hits and hides and only hits cause you know I can’t hit you back. You just going to have to do it yourself if you want me dead. For real cause I’m tired AS FUCK!!!

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I fear god and my council... not you bitches!!!

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I got my ghosts back I think... my songs were changing by themselves tonight again. Maybe tonight I can feel safe again for the first time in 8 years but idk... I feel so sick right now... idfk

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Maybe it’s only 7... I lose count

we got sticks like that well take care the fact you call it nip when you sleep is uber cute we call it kip.. or having a kipper

anywhoot i hope you keep flushing out what you got in thought and keep it real love xoxo

Thanks @Candy !!!

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A kipper LOL that’s cute... are you native or from the us originally?

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Originally Posted by A Disciple

Thanks @Candy !!!

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A kipper LOL that’s cute... are you native or from the us originally?

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You got discord?

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Originally Posted by A Disciple

Thanks @Candy !!!

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A kipper LOL that’s cute... are you native or from the us originally?

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im from aus but i work in the us

@kill _spree what’s discord?

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Somebody is on my body and rumbling my thighs and I don’t want them on me... that creeper shit isn’t sexy to me. Get them off me I don’t know how to!!!!

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You can’t just go and tag any bitch you want freak!! And yeah I caught my hair cut too!!!! Like get off me for real!!!! NO MEANS NO!!!!

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I’m in sex therapy right now and it’s not helping they’re making it WORSE!!!

Sex therapy is helping cause I’m 43 and I deserve to have sex again too... but the creeper making shit worse. I don’t understand why all the abuse to even begin with?!??!?

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The psychic said not to have sex when I feel like that but I waited an entire year!!! Like 7-8 years type shit? After my ex already droubted me 3 years too???? I’m starting to think some maggot I don’t even want think he can put my vv on tap and shit!!!!

vv very cute xoxo

Something helped... that was LONG over due!!!! Not perfect but I got a few amazing minutes in!! ... ever since

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@Candy LoL

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Vagina just sound so ugly... and I never had a problem saying pussy before either until since then too!

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I bought a journal to write in each night before bed to establish a bed time routine too since it takes hours and hours to fall asleep... so I’ll try to bother you all less!!! But I do appreciate you all tolerating me and my issues!!!

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I bought a journal to write in each night before bed to establish a bed time routine too since it takes hours and hours to fall asleep... so I’ll try to bother you all less!!! But I do appreciate you all tolerating me and my issues!!!

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What app do you guys use to convert pics into URL? @Candy @Soule

i use online free stuff

https://image.online-convert.com/

just search google free online image converter

I’ve been and can’t find anything... thank you @Candy

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I remember the ac dc convo... like I know what’s up. I do... I just don’t understand how I’m getting so hit and can’t get back to your protection!!!

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It’s not free here... it’s $7.99 a month. What’s the extension for url .url?

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@Candy

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Ever since I woke up 7-8 years ago!!!! Like WHAT THE FUCK is going on?!?!??

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This asshole need to stop popping my ear too!!! EVERYBODY off me!!!

https://youtu.be/l482T0yNkeo

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Originally Posted by A Disciple

I’ve been and can’t find anything... thank you @Candy

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I remember the ac dc convo... like I know what’s up. I do... I just don’t understand how I’m getting so hit and can’t get back to your protection!!!

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It’s not free here... it’s $7.99 a month. What’s the extension for url .url?

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@Candy

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Ever since I woke up 7-8 years ago!!!! Like WHAT THE FUCK is going on?!?!??

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This asshole need to stop popping my ear too!!! EVERYBODY off me!!!

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Who popping your ear? What does this mean?

Yes thank god and I know...

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Originally Posted by A Disciple

Yes thank god and I know...

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I ain’t thanked god in many a minute. What do you know?

ill send another link of other sites i use or connect to..

ps congrats on your other achievement

https://convertio.co/image-converter/

Yeah I be wondering how you all come stacked like that in battles and accomplishments and stuff

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Just got the my grave stone will read cause I did what I wanted to. It’s my ONE life why would I live it the way somebody tell me to especially when I’m not even happen. How does trying to get to and speak to my # 1 put ME or ANYBODY in a grave. Like yeah you obviously could do it - but why would you even want to?

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You don’t stand for me! You don’t answer to god for me! I mean unless you really want to!

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Happy*

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I’ve been getting really dizzy and my memory is super bad... I’m gonna stop the antidepressants she just prescribed and she even said you don’t have to titrate down or anything. If it’s still progresses I’ll go to the dr.

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Scared as fuck!!!! I been thru ENOUGH!!!!

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I think it started when I started them so I pray. I say my prayers every day and it took me like 5 minutes to recall
the words... I had to start with prayer number 2 to remember 1! I forgot to answer my family thanks giving text until just a couple of hours ago too. Couldn’t remember the word pistachio cause like that’s my favorite wash. Just telling you all way too much too! I’m not going to say I can’t help it. I’m just on my why should I have to!!!! Just the spin is crazy enough!

Yeah I was shaking a bit talking about it again... I think the ptsd is worse than the bipolar to deal with. Help me sleep?

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I just told you @Cody _nash I am a fan of your work though... hope it’s not real disses and hard feelings!

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Originally Posted by A Disciple

Yeah I was shaking a bit talking about it again... I think the ptsd is worse than the bipolar to deal with. Help me sleep?

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I just told you @Cody _nash I am a fan of your work though... hope it’s not real disses and hard feelings!

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Hahah nah you’re good. No hard feelings. Thanks for taking it like a champ.

getten off of the drugs does def help

I rarely drink now or even smoke weed... I prefer the occasional cause to be honest if I go too sober I start dismissing shit as impossible and wanna forgive everybody. I can’t... that’s been my entire problem. I’m trying to learn just cause you forgive somebody or understand why they did it... it doesn’t mean you go back for more. I am so over being mental though... finding my outlet on a spiritual realm slowly and do have like a very small few friends that help. My brother and sister are both actively in sobriety and NA for like 30 yrs now and my father drank himself to death this year. So addiction is going to be something that always hangs over my head. I hate that too! I found addiction is a personality trait... I used to be a bad gambler too but now I hardly go to the casino and when I do there is no issue walking away so like I’ll get over this mindset too I believe. Are you in sobriety @Candy
@Cody _nash that ear popping thing it’s like my ear pops... At the weirdest times while I’m being tapped or bitched. I thought when mobb deep said “throw a bug in your ear” it was a figure of speech but now I’m starting to think it was literal. I’ve heard buzzing and even a heart beat once. Like I never thought magic and voodoo was real but learned it really is and voodoo is getting me thru it. My ex is into it big time and he helps... he knows what he is talking about but won’t teach me. When he tried to throw back he ended up hitting me by accident. But I’m strong from being hit for years and years calling them panic attacks. And I even taught him on a stuck together panic go back to back push away. I had to push him out my car dropping him off once while it was still moving. I laugh about it now but when that eye came back down the next morning I was scared but since... I haven’t had to deal with that yet and it’s been YEARS. I joke about writing a manual how to get thru it and maybe will in rhyme one day like biggies 10 crack commandments.

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On that Ac/Dc... I lost my virginity while on vacation at the beach. Me and that guy was walking and talking and he asked me what type of music I like... I remember saying the first thing that came to my head (I like AC/DC) the strange part of all that was I forgot all about him and that until I heard the 3 bangs. My life flashes and a pic just brought me right back to there. That’s really who I’m waiting on for advice too.

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The funniest part about it though... like have my breaks and delusions or things that scared me was angels trying to remind me and the memory was just lost that I kept assuming what they meant was wrong.

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That’s why I call it waking up or when I say I’m up now... cause now a lot of shit finally makes sense.

yeh im sober now but i do have a valium addiction

I never got into anything but weed, liquor, coke, and E... i have my own addiction issues but while everyone points at you like some drug addict they forget everybody does something and most just can’t admit to that!

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My journal is helping me... hopefully I can embarrass myself less on here. My brother told me to watch serpent and the rainbow and a lot made sense. I even laughed a little. I just don’t understand why I’m so allergic to the shit though. But I showed him my serpent and the rainbow and totally trust the angels around me for the most part.
I’m down to 2 friends... it hurts but I rather be dolo than disrespected. I’m sick as fuck again... I can’t even sleep until morning... it took 9 hours to fall asleep last night. I’m nauseous as fuck all the time, can hardly eat, throwing up every day with nothing coming out, posing... I’m so over all of this!!!! I just want to be me again! :o(

i use to do the same things

@Candy it’s tough with my brother on my ass now cause he been in NA like 30 years and is still active. But I like it. My dads passing definitely brought his family together again. I stopped drinking on June 23rd when he did pass with like a minor shot or two since but the other day it was real hard not to go to the liquor store and I don’t even usually drink like that. That’s why I say addiction is a personality trait like it’s all in your head but idk. I’m still struggling with my issues. How long do you have clean @Candy ? Are you in a program?

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It took 9 hours again to fall asleep last night... every time I did I got tapped. Not by a ghost a doll... and like just really frustrated with creepers in the dark. Especially tied to me in religious ways without even asking. At first I thought it was we will call him my baby dad but then I realized it isn’t. He is the only guy that even strikes close in a religious way... except for Chris dying in my lap but he wouldn’t do me like this either. Alternative religions are real and I’m learning slow... just wish I was gifted like that and can strike back... any ways

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@Candy when you say you used to do the same things what do you mean?

x and wee with speed is what drugs i was on about ten years ago for like 5 years..
but then i went clean
i did programs but they were only to get work when i couldnt get work

Irregular Heartbeat
https://www.bing.com/search?q=irregu...UnUufuQbSQHgFo

I wrote you back myself, don’t forget my closet had a closet
White as fuck and I didn’t mean to cause it
I can bite, but my bark is better
Lead you to the sun motherfucker if he let her
“Don’t make me ride on them for real”
Cause I can still hold a steel (with my legs)
It’s what’s up… but how do you feel?
Me? Like Im climbing without the pegs
My entire design is spirits, but don’t try to tie to my soul
Spirits home cause all I think is did this bitch sell not to be sould
Who a coward now, I still got heart
But I shake when pulled or even when my car doesn’t start

Legally I can’t back shit up right now, I might have 6 months over my head
But I will pull a shot on Instagram and I’m to the point IDC if hes dead
You better think twice bitch before you pee on whose bed
Cause second authority too we all tagged by the feds
Jail isn’t a pleasant place, but criminal mental was worse
Go ahead and plea insanity cause no one will be charged if you end up in a hurse
Which is worse? The gift or the curse?

… Yeah we “took some out the baggies and put it in our purse”

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@Candy do you make money on your music?

nah i stopped it and gave it away for free

dope verse xoxo

Stop popping my ear... why you think you don’t even have to give me a choice and say no! I can say no but you don’t listen!!!

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Dead up... get off me. This shit isn’t build a bitch!

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like trying to change someone to fit you? Nah im a be myself and you see if you click or don’t. WE DO NOT AND NEVER WILL GET ALONG TYPE GET OFF ME NO AND I MEAN IT... I done served my domestic violence circle you’re not going to DEMAND I put up with it again. Too twisted for me... I need someone stable

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I don’t want to magically meet some stranger either... get off me my family is my priority I don’t really need or want a man.

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I have too much stuff to heal and my tolerance is low right now. Please don’t force yourself on me when I say no. NO IS NO and demanding your way abusive too. I will not tolerate disrespect or abuse for real...

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I don’t want a man... I don’t want to get married either... I want MY god back, you can’t just demand to change someone’s god...

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I don’t like it... NO

Thanks @Candy and your music real professional - you should get paid!!!

What music?

Guys I lost the link to vote idk who sent them or who to ask

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Originally Posted by King Soule

What music?

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Yeah link us to Candy’s music please!

Would love to hear this music.

@Candy who are they? Do you know them?

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@big_nash are you related to Cody or are you cody? The links are further up in conversation. hope that’s cool @Candy

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Idk who sent the links but I lost them and couldn’t vote - doubt you all reading this but maybe the monitor knows which votes and send me the link again

No idea.

I like your signature and thank you @King _soule

And In regards to therapy... it’s still accessory after the fact

there all mine some beats are mastered and paid for
some are just free samples
and some are mixtape

https://soundcloud.com/aaron-batty-951093780

but vocals are all me

Because it’s abusive... I can’t sleep with just anybody for real. Sex therapy making some break thrus but for real? Who ever popping my ear is annoying and abusive as hell... I don’t know how to get them off of and away from me and my body - it’s not my religion so I don’t know how

I’m in mad pain right now and for the past few hours

masterbate