ok .. your man ryte here needs some help .. i av had three battles .. but have lost all three .. and i need to know what i am doing wrong!
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ok .. your man ryte here needs some help .. i av had three battles .. but have lost all three .. and i need to know what i am doing wrong!
Can elevate off anything dunny.....!
Aiy0 makin my way from my girls breats down to her peach...
Kissin all on her inner thighs as I make my way to her cheeks...
My tongue slithering on her skin like a god damn snake...
Gettin down to her asshole to eat it like cake...
We was just in tha shower so I clean'd it up good...
Now I'm lickin that shit raw while she suckin my wood...
It got a taste sorta like leather but its not that bad...
I'll lick that ass as long as she licks my sack...
She sits on my face I was in deep shit...
I suck on my girls butthole, I ain't gon' keep it a secret...
Peep this..it didn't stink so it didn't phase me...
Try it on ya lady..I'm tellin ya it drives em' crazy...
topic: Watching tha weekly forecast
watchin the weekly forecast to plan my week dawg
Saturday it's snow So I'll serve the streets raw
Sunday partly cloudy with a chance for showers...............
So if it do rain I hope it don't last hours
Cuz time of the street mean money out my pocket
I hope Monday looks nice so I can straight stack that profit.
Weatherman jus told me that the rest of MY week look sunny
So I'm expecting no less than being on tha block getting money'
next topic is locked for 10 years.
i turn to face tamera/
told her face da camera/
we filmin porn its amatuer/
she takes long to strip dont worry i aint mad atcha/
im a patient guy so i help strip her down/
we roll around, fall on da ground/
c dis is wat im talkin bout/
n afta a while its feelin well/
but tamera says deres suttin she should tell/
i ask her "wat" she says "baby im only 12"/
im mad as hell, fuck bein nice i yell/
n tell da bitch to get outta my house i aint goin to jail/
da next day i hear a few sirens/
and da words from neighbors whinin/
tamera told da cops dat i dun raped her/
she walks into my room n shows da cops dat i taped her/
while da cops pat me da neighbors sayin dat im filthy/
i get to da courtroom da jury says im guilty/
da judge sees da tape n sees tamera had a face of enjoyment/
so she lets me off easy n only gives 10 yrs to stay in da pen
next topic is alcohol entoxication
can u holla at me .. i need help wit ma flow and ma punch lynes .. ?
O.S. I like tha lil sick ass story you went wit to get to tha topic of 10 yrs in tha joint, flow was aiight, nice words and imagery...
Alcohol intoxication....
Makin out with tha toilet for an hour and a half...
Can't remember tha number of drinks that I had...
My head's crackin wide open while I'm still concious...
Mad sick to my stomach, not to mention naucious...
Seeing triple of everything so theres puke on tha floor...
I knew I shouldn't have gone for more beer at tha store...
Feelin ill like death is creepin up...
Everything I ate earlier is part of my up-chuck...
What tha fuck..this sucks...
I just want to fall alseep...
If I go to my girl's now..I'm in one hell of a heap...
Gotta deal wit it, and hope to get better...
I'm gettin tired of takin off and puttin on my sweater...
topic: Being Hungry
yoo ... i need help on ma flows + punches!!
pm me if anyone has tipz!!
stop fuckin postin in tha elevation thread, read a book if you want tips
next topic is: Being Hungry
ayo, somebody help the kid out, i only need a few bucks to eat..
and i'm tired of standing here all afternoon on my feet
should of stayed and school and got that diploma..
instad of 'panhandlin' out here .. like i was 'Oklahoma'.
some shit you just gotta do when ya ain't seein money..
god damn, i'm so tired of being hungry.
* hopefully ya'll got that fourth line.
next topic .. hmm.. how bout droppin out of school.
got dropped from the system or at least thats ma story
next thing you know to git recognition you'll see my ass on maury
cant get a job or a bitch cuz im broke my life is boring
i wanna jump off a building thats over fifty stories
cuz this aint the way a human being wuz meant to live
used to promise moms id be a doctor i hope she can forgive
* next topic: gangbangin
got dropped from the system or at least thats ma
next thing you know to git recognition you'll see my ass on
cant get a job or a bitch cuz im broke my life is [boring]
i wanna jump off a building thats over fifty [stories]
cuz this aint the way a human being wuz meant to
used to promise moms id be a doctor i hope she can
The bracketed rhymes are where you lost me, I am not saying it was bad but you have to remember when your busting flow in text, we dont all pronounce words the same so the psuedorhymes as presented in the brackets dont work. And the phrasing of the line about Maury is kinda off next time try something like this ((Next time you see me it'll be in boot camp, like those punk kids they put on Maury))--Take all advice take some of But hey I am just trying to Elevate
*Gangbanging*
I dont know if you mean on the streets or with chicks//
But I am still better then everbody at both of em so suck my dick/
If your meaning on the streets then your know Im ridin' hardcore/
If you meaning with the chicks, you betta believe I always pick the dirty-est whore/
Your know when I doing either one, Im preforming slick/
But youll never know which one em off that I pop off to quick/
One of em is my livelyhood you better believe me/
The other, if my chick found out about it she'd probably leave me/
As for which ones which, thats the mystery/
Cmon Scooby Dooby, your a super slueth/
Whos knows Im havin' too much now, I may never tell you the truth//
Sorry bout not leavin' a topic N/t= Repenting for your Sins
fuck that,I'll take my secrets ta tha grave before I give a confesion/
I don't believe in god,so who would listen to my regrets son?/
certinly not a preacher or nun in a small smelly wooden booth/
homeless people use those ta go poop/
I would rather die with pride,wouldn't you?/
why would I want to tell tha teacher I cheated on a test if I got tha best grade in tha class/
would you tell a preacher if you nailed his wife in tha ass/
hell no,now get in tha booth and say it was you or i'll have ta shoot
next topic: drinking
all I'ma say is your verse was aiight, but didn't really kick it, and you didn't leave feedback on tha MC before you, so I'ma just leave this...........................
drinkin
Every Friday n' Saturday night...
Gettin myself right...
Drinks in tha club under tha lights...
Mad crunk n' drunk...
Don't know where I'm stumbblin from...
Cocked like a gun wit numb gums...
Tomorrow mornin I'm gonna have tha runs...
topic: garlic bread and pasta
you got a thing about food don't you? i liked your rap you kept it real simple though, im kinda new to this and from what i can see a txt rap/battle is gonna get good responses from complicated lines and good metaphors.......that rap you kicked though is kinda like the shit i kick when im sittin in round robin wit my boys..........nice flow and though it was simple i saw your story in my head
walked in the kitchen, breath air to my lungs see
*sniff* i smell food, oh now im fuckin hungry
stovetop cookin up like this canned alpha-bits
no, i dont want none of that microwave shit
i got frozen food, im in an Italian mood though
french bread, spread butter, then sprinkle some oregano
pop it in the oven, grab some pasta and oil
put the pan up and fill so the water can boil
cooked up its looks good, but it lacks some meat
fuck it i aint got time cause im tryin to eat
^^^lemme say it for you, that was whack
Next Topic: Suicidal Thoughts
((I'm giving you mad props cuz you attempted that crazy topic lol I woulda just waited til someone else tried. Your ambitious.))Quote:
Originally Posted by AntonioMontana
Sucidal Thoughts, life sucks but Im used to it/
Perhaps anger is what gave me the passion to spit/
I dont see the point in hanging yourself with a noose/
Cuz what if you decide this aint you time, To bad, you cant cut it loose/
Sucidal thoughts getting you all depressed/
Relvin' those memories that your childhood regressed/
Your gonna do it no matter what I say here/
But its not my life and I dont know you so I have nothin' to fear//
I didnt leave a topic- so N/t= MidnightQuote:
Originally Posted by goosutoraitaa
Good Work, Uppa ya Vocab a lil, str8 tho
Sitting in tha still of tha night, Thoughts runnin in ya head
Sitting upright watchin ReRuns of The Fresh Prince cuz u cant go to Bed
Thinkin bout ya problems,ya life, ya girl, ya shits all in a mess
Sittin alone in tha dark at midnight is tha only time u get peace without a vest
Try to think of sumthing Creative, but a thought cant pop into your dome
Just be happy you got ya own house instead of sleepin in ya friends home
But finally tha lightbulb clicks, A thought registers in ya brain
Tha reason u cant sleep is cuz of the food lackage leading to pain
So u stand up right, Wobble for a min. then work ya way to tha kitchen
Gettin back into ur warm and snug bed is tha only thing your wishin
So u get ya Vitamins and Protein, Work ya back to ya bed
and Finally at last, you feel a pillow meet ya head
As u fade into sleep, U feel numbness comin over you feelin of Satisfaction
Knowing your goin to Sleep in ur own bed so u get a Grateful Reaction
But u wake up in tha Night, Look at tha clock its 3:42 A.M. But u aint worried
You shift ya attention to tha light that just turned on and tha roach that scurried
So u get up outta ya bed, Step softly and creep closer on tha floor
Moving ever so closer till u hear foreign voices on tha other side of the door........
Next Topic: Finish My Story
good story tellin' rap i like your style, through the whole rap i had imagery of what you was talkin about..........i like the way you took that topic thats good shit
layin on the floor schemin' lil nervous and scared,
whose at the door's a mistery, betta be prepared,
'tick tock' the clock face, got a gun on my waist,
let that door open wrong im'a blast this place,
footsteps the woods knocking makin noise on the floor
'knock, knock' real politely then they opened the door
almost popped the glock, look of shock on my face
my mom's opened up the door, said clean up this place!
get your ass off the floor, i aint gon' tell you again
put your water pistol away and get your ass into bed!
^^^corny but i figured id make it a stupid ending.........but thats why they call this the elevation thread right?
Next Topic: Relationships (to anything not necessarily opposite sex)
yo it was iight but like u said the endin wuz kinda loopty
tryna relate to this chick i been tryna go dating with
but she keep sayin shit to make me wanna spray this clip
first she talkin bout marriage now she tlakin bout kids
only thing im worried bout is that ass and them tits
to get drunk one night and wake up sayin that wuz the best
then the police bust in and say stop that incest
i look over and see my mom and im thinkin how could i son
but i think going to montana wuz wut i shoulda done
n/t= dead in the snow
the coldest winter of 95, ice every where hangin on phone lines,
afghan spreads past around in the house, im claImin it's mines/
power outage in every county, damn no electricity,
a stove is all we got to keep us warm, at the ave of NorthCity/
we all snugged up to go outside and fool around,
while peeps tryin to go in to town/
they should have came prepared like we did and shyt ,
but then we saw em slippin and sliddin in ditch/
while we were buildin snow men, there was something in the woods up against a tree it was a shoe sole,
as we got closer in shock , we saw a Dead Man In The Snow/
Williamsburg, VA 1995, Christmas Eve (True STory )
Next Topic / Mass Appeal
((That was alright nothing astounding but I like that you were able to make a story flow always a good sign. The rhymes made it feel kind of akward at parts))
You sitting there talking bout how you icy cold/
Its like Jack Frost gots you in a choke hold/
I got flames to melt ice and drown you/
If you knew you were about to die, what would you do?
I saw you down there sucking water into your lungs/
Sound like you an asian like William Hung/
Dont want no more of your lip so I rip out your tounge/
Telling your story so people feel bad a little bit/
Next time I'll get you a camel so you can learn how to spit/
N/t= What to do when your in a fight and your realize you just misfired yourlast bullet
-feeling the flow. had a real nice and clean punches. every punch was consistant which is good.- (not an expert of the topic considering i ain't a gang banger)
last bullet, damn ain't got anymore clips
but i aint gonna get laid out, so my fist turn into bricks
i throw crazy punches
moving like the matrix in hyper speed, but in my quick eyes, they just lunges
BAM, knock em out, thats what he gets messing with real G's
frisk em and take his keys - then stomp until he bleeds
run for the Cali low rider
split this bitch, soul and body, then divide her
-Practicing
N/t = How to escape from police cars chasing you.
- u could work on yo srycture and your flow, the wordplay wsa good.
I gotta be swerving in between tha lanes
Tryin to run from tha 5-0 for shootin some lames
pull a hard right watch tha cop car crash
straight getaway nigga cause im too fast
gotta roadblock ahead of me a alley on tha left
this has gotta be tha craziest day i've had yet
n/t having sex for tha 1st time
ayo that was solid i like the words n shit but try to make ur lines longer cause the flow seemed choppy
ayo...
the first time i did it, i was nervous as fuck
i could tell in my girls eyes she always wanted to get stuck
when she was suckin the dick, she was lickin like a trained horse
all i wanted was to fuck the appetizers, move right in to the main course
When I slid in, i was like who the fuck is the king now
I could feel in my veins was the ceilings I would bring down
as soon as i was done, i pulled out with a big grin
then looked at that ass and knew that I got a big win
n/t-jackin a tv from a store
it was good, ordinary flow. Had fair imagery. Dope bars.
run into the spot black hood, black mask, and black gloves
and got the getaway car sitting on DUBs / /
i see that brand new Sampson
pop the asian motherfucka in the leg and hold him for ransom //
jack the video tape
wait - tag the spot with my signature paint - and then hop the gate / /
take the TV and load in the car
last thing on my mind is getting captive behind a bar //
my bad, forgot to leave topic
n/t = Doing a live rap battle for the first time.
- good multi's , good structure.
sweatin like hell hear my name/
errbody booing thinkin im lame
I get intro'ed and grab tha mike
they callin me tha champ by tha end of tha night
n/t doin a drive-by
not really feelin it..
im about to roll on this fool as if im the don,
but first drivin closer to make sure he's the ones,
me and my boyz lock and load,oh there he goes,
pull down my window and tell the driver to go slow,
he turns and looks sees me with my nines,
automaticly thinks oh shit imma bout to die,
so i pull the trigga before he starts to weap,
drives off wile his girls screamin sayin wake up u jus asleep,
n/t the meaning of hip hop
good imagery, but the rhymes were pretty basic - work on vocab, use some multies. decent though - cool ending
hiphop is life, rap is the language
a way to express hunger, exposed to the famine
culture cultivated by years of oppression
go guessin' about life and where you be headin
a dog-eat-dog mentality, constantly squandering, brawling to elevate
some are never great - others launch to the top and celibrate
but they walk a tightrope and try not to fall off
if yall raw from the streets than keep it at least
if you rapped about poverty back then, than stay the same beast
don't sell out to record execs - realize you're better than that
why not stay for 15 minutes as opposed to just five?
that's how you can keep our culture alive
next topic - recording a demo
-Yo flow was off in the first couple of bars and yo structure could be better but errthing else is cool
In the booth for 6 hours gettin my shyt down
Couple of days my mixtape gon be in town./
Pourin my heart and soul str8 in to tha mic
dam might be here for the rest of the night./
Finish the demo blown and hungry as hell
aint got nothuin "lets do another one" shit might as well./
2 hours later go to mickey D's
in tha morn, on tha block tryin to sell my cds
n/t drug dealin
this faggot wanted to know about drug dealin so he knows whats what,
so he can go arund sayin he needs drugs but really he wants cock,
pussy mutherfucker shut your mouth unless you got somethin else to say,
havin a fat man wearin a pink shower cap in your sig is kinda gay,
but thats what i expect from a dick ridin faggot,
u want an award for being gay? ask elton john he'l say here u can have it,
im done so don't even try to reply,
cuz i'll have to come back to beat but im not tht typer guy,
N/T having a new born child
shit, my baby mama gonna have a new child
she the one pushing, but my minds going wild
having a kid this young? damn, that aint my style
just glad that that bitch i fucked wasnt a pedophile
aint even got a house, and expect me to rock the crib
damn, this baby gonna have to eat like me, without a bib (eating dirty)
gotta get a job, and put in more work?
abortion? no, hit the block, find some niggas that wanna get murked
t/p = Dreaming about being a rapper
i used to dream of being the greatest, being the champ
i know its insane but i hoped it was my name they'd chant
as i freestyle my vision longed for a crowd
when the roaring is loud and the audience's wild
lookin for that fame-n-fortune but this game-is-torture
just the thought makes me wanna grab my brain-n-scortch'em
can barely remeber when i became important
doesnt matter though cuz people no longer see's wack
all i hear now......................
...............................is the people screamin ~feed-back~
n/t makin money
i use to think i was confused
but naw thats them cats that get mad when i start working them tools
have em looking like jackie chan in black mood
on the dance floor with a blcak groove
thats cool i dont need the elevate
i do that when its time to elevate
i'm 9-3 the record says what i i'm know haters go hate
cause i'm like the tiger on the frosted flakes box i'm great
whats the next topic?
n~t: doin a show
standin on a stage, crowd in my hand
best feelin in my life, i know im da man
Neva lookin back my past is bleek
girls drinks and drugs everyday of the week
Do one last song , fans goin wild,
the after party might b a lil while
Wake up on tha bus to my next show
practicin my ryhmes, perfectin my flow
last stop of the tour, gotta make it hot
*pop,pop* oh shit somebody got shot
hop on tha bus drive away
I hope if anybody got hit, that they be okay
N~T : robbin a bank