Elevation Thread.

that shit was good man i like it from beginning to the end

im insane
i stick 12 inch nails in my nose to reach my brain
i wanna see if i would live if i let 5 gallons of my blood drain
i walk to the white house
singing with my guns out
wetting in the air until my rounds run out
im in the yard as soon as the sun out
in a raincoat withe my ass showing to everybody when they come out
i aint insane im just crazy
that want michael jackson that was me dangling his baby....
over the balcony
so be careful where u go and remember look out for me

n/t grim reaper

that sounds like an old school slim shady song about being crazy
its nice an all, just needs better rhythm
kept me laughin a lil

im the reaper, i kill you without that knife or whatjamacallit
ill light u up with my 40 cal, jus get ready to bawl kid
My mind is crazy, i kill babies then play games with the devil
dont keep ya teks out ill wipe the "Best Out" like ya name was Bezel
listen to my words, i start earthquakes when people hear my syllables
ill start fires, tornados, riots, anything to get rid of you
i murk you prostitutes like its a crime to hoe
when i tap you on ya shoulders that means its ya time to go

n/t-the government

I don't know too much bout government cause that shit can be a bore...
But I have been paying more attention concidering every generation has a war...
Or-more..than one, I do know bout Cheney's accident wit da gun...
How's that happen?!..he's got to have twenty CIA agents in action while he was clappin...
I do feel BUSH had good means but now he's lost in his own world...
Now all tha country seems stuck in what seems like a permanent whirl...
Yeah, some ask, "Why go after Hussein?"-"Why fly Bin Laden's family home on our planes?!"
If you ask me..tha government's a game...
Ones who start out wit loose change..want power so they build up...
Then its in their hands if tha world fucks up...
So get ya education, and make a huge impact...
N' maybe we'll have no more Vietnam's, Gulf's n' Iraq's....


topic: Playing basketball

My bad ya'll...


Y0 KING you stayed on topic wit "The Reaper"-I liked some lines and tha way it was flowin in my head..shit was good man, nice!

got some good verses in this niggah..
looks loike some words were added to leathin your thread a lil bit hommie..
keep up though good shyt..

your a imatater wanna be a laker ..
not a shot faker or a shot maker..
shock clock violation your a immatation..
go take a vacation im the new sinsation..
i am a baller..
to the ladies i holla..

look at me i move my feet..
you cant play offense or play d..
keep your head up look at me..
shot clock bang i hit that 3..

T.P. =spitting game

that was good at staying on topic.but you need to up ya vocb..more complicated words..tha multis was good but if you add more words and description bettew tha multis it'll be alot better..


im not going by the next topic but i stay spittin game
im here to lift tha game,J jackin JOOKZ get tha name
vocals on fire its tha humn torch so you get rip to flames
its baby ace,a loser with a shady face,a 16 post noweight
your a good rapper no way,u by tha ocenside ya name Jose?
u tha same age as me but i got the better skillz,i wont regret this kill
this ain a basketball game but ya life im here to steal,im forever real
what i juss said might put you in shock like an electric eel,ill get
u hooked like a rod and reel,but listen this is more complex then fishin
why you so ugly?well my girls are here n will have u itching for a licking
you wanna be like me but u dreaming n im not a Genie so ur left wishing...


next topic,write a verse ne verse but with tha most compex vocab u know

Lyricall talent wastin beneath Oceans
Massive Slaughter I am the Killing Potion
Halocaust type destruction of Conscience
Females Vibrating just so they can Flaunt it
Harrasment of Text these are Replacable Artists
Pyrotechnic in the game Im a Fire Starter
Massive mountains of Words and Bars
Giving Homosapians a Glimpse of Stars
Morals and life exsitence altogether
Making harsh reality seem light as a Feather

N//t If Jesus was Aborted (Abortion)

there would be no earth. Hell set right in, left a curse.
the under be up like a bar flip, but be burnin way worse.
not a drink to cure our thirst, My God would be too hurt.
Jesus too much worth! I'd say, he'd have been dead first.
he had a purpose, been complete everything sits at his feet.
he only suffered one defeat, never again, will he be beat.
let you know he sows what u reap, dont amount to a heap.
the devil would have our greens, our minds power controled.
longing to prevail like i said, a tall tale, he'll never be as bold.

ooops next topic ------------------ UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

a hate when niggas cant do shit right^

*walks in looks :wtf: nobody left feedback on my drop..shakes head n walks out*

damn i need a topic......(waiting).........(still waiting) ......................

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JOOKZ

that was good at staying on topic.but you need to up ya vocb..more complicated words..tha multis was good but if you add more words and description bettew tha multis it'll be alot better..


im not going by the next topic but i stay spittin game
im here to lift tha game,J jackin JOOKZ get tha name
vocals on fire its tha humn torch so you get rip to flames
its baby ace,a loser with a shady face,a 16 post noweight
your a good rapper no way,u by tha ocenside ya name Jose?
u tha same age as me but i got the better skillz,i wont regret this kill
this ain a basketball game but ya life im here to steal,im forever real
what i juss said might put you in shock like an electric eel,ill get
u hooked like a rod and reel,but listen this is more complex then fishin
why you so ugly?well my girls are here n will have u itching for a licking
you wanna be like me but u dreaming n im not a Genie so ur left wishing...


next topic,write a verse ne verse but with tha most compex vocab u know

---

Props to a kid who can follow rules correctly.

Nice verse. Working multies. the more multies the better. Like first place...birthday...or rotten responses....gotten me nauseous. Ya feel me? Also use sum wordplay to really get the reader interested. Creativity is ok...but use the creativeness effectively. Don't make it sound random shit just coming out. Make it nice n keep working on it till its balance. Keep at it holmes.

Such offenses are endless hence which has filled me with vengence
Neva can i suspend this but constantly i fucken piss on them dumbshits
All this discrimination upon this nation makes me go crazy from the mayhem
The pain from all this hatin has made me lose patience to murder a timeline of ages
My old crew apotheosis has been lost since faggot Celestial camee across it
And since then...such monstrous animosity responsibly...
.............has gotten in this mosh pit where even god can't stand upon this
My face may appear to be scary....as i make all fags dissapear carefully
Such faceless tears have made me angry...fear has quickly been changin me
Now i've murder my mother, father, sisters n brothers, n all other members
Making me an offender with a message sending hell to all wrenders of enders

New topic: We All Fall Down

nigga thats gangsta az fuk! a new noch to the word lyrical/
combinded with ones emotions so i comprehend its spiritual/
a scripture written miracle but yet a tad bit sinicle/
i rip mc's till u couldnt recognize them physical/
unorganized flow with numeric random syllables/
far from original, now-n-day rap is gay/
we got niggas like young jeezy makin billions off "HEY"/
wuts to say, those wit skill dont make it at all/
so its a fight to the top with continuous falls/
continuous brawls by mc's wit vigorous balls/
im sharp az a jaw wit teeth that cut faster then saws/
pressing the pause wont help u understand my flow/
im shocking spectators till they think there able to glow/
or unable to stand from the force my metaphors throw/

now i will come through and blast u wit a scooby doo
when ur dead i will make sure nobody knows you
ha ha ur funny kinda like a bunny
ok so go and tell ur dad sonny
well hes ma and thats all i gotta say
good day!!!!

aiy0 you faggot rappers can't foll0w tha fuckin rules of this cypher

I'ma make a topic for myself to get it goin again, so next kat peep it and leave info. then go off topic I leave for ya....



My T0pIc: Robbin tha corNer st0Re

Run up in tha store and pull out tha nine'...
Tell Osama lookin clerk ta' keep his ass in line...
Tha piece is on his nose as he's handin me doh'...
I'm lookin round for bystanders but tha place seems empty...
I'm lookin in my bag n' I see no benji's...
"Where's tha fuckin big bills?," I ask this ragtop...
He said he got none they went to tha bank at afternoons deposit drop...
I don't know if he's tellin tha truth or lyin...
So I pop a shot in his kneecap n' start listenin to his cryin...
"Where's tha safe you fuck I'm runnin out of time?"...
He said, "In tha back ro0m behind tha liquor and wine!"...
So I'm pickin his ass up off tha floor and make my way back...
"Give me tha combo so I can get this safe crack'd!"...
Dumbass gave it to me as easy at that...
Took tha cash cock'd tha gat and put a slug in his cap...
Runnin towards tha back exit I see police stormin in through tha front...
So I drop'd tha pistol n' pulled tha pump to start buckin at chumps...
Food being destroy'd n' shelves fallin over...
I knew I should have came to do this just a lil bit more sober...
Slip'd out tha back but got hit in tha shoulder...
Strap'd tha cash bag to my back and went to hide behind a old bulldozer...
I seeing flashlights close and hearin footsteps...
Tryin not to breathe as I'm nervous I start to sweat...
If I try to run now I'm knowin I'll just get wreck'd...
But I'm in luck theres a sewer drain right to my left...
I'm pryin that shit up carefully placin it aside...
As I close it above me I've realized I have a place to hide...


topic: Where tha thief goes to from here with tha cops hot on his trail

i move up like elevators. no effort like pullies
shakin all you pussies down like schoolyard bullies
hella clean, all of you bitches can never match me
cause most of yall would get stung by spelling bee's
you seem to desperate, to me this takes no effort
cause i pimp text like blonds to hue hefner
whos clever, its simple. frank always bends spines
cause im always above you, like the power of 10 times
what, sluts dont understand, they just spread em
cause my cuts can, make most emcess deadend

i come down the street ready to kill
the retreat cause they know what i be servin up
it's death i do the grim reapers work for him B
cause i don't fear the reaper, the reaper fears me
you wanna step to this just ask G
and you can see just how real i be
you don't wanna be my enemy
cause all of them ither flee or are D I E
death is what i'm bringin
death is what you gettin
death is what i be servin
and lookin at the predicamint your in death is servedlooks like a four course meal
after what the cops found you pumped fulla lead wit my steel
i'm servin death up
i'm servin it up

next topic: gangsta

im diss and obey topic,if this helps u then jot-it
even though my neck is froze i still text hot-test
put a rhyming book n ya bong n now ya raps should rhyme
my turf i stood mine,tha names JJ no not off of good times
u suck cuz u from CAN-ADA,u tha nail n im here to hammer ya
a L is what im handin ya,for that verse tha mods should be bannin ya
you live in a higher altitude and still i out rank you,ill point blank you
i want ya help in rappin no thank u,my verse is steel n will army tank u

n/t somebody tailing u in a car

Like my chain, my car swang to the left and to the right
got bitches on my tail, starein dead in my light
puff on the weed, lookin hard to the back
tryin ta keep my mind steady, but i'm alittle off track
i speed up doin 80, but that hoe still on me
i take a hard next hit, pass the blunt to my homie
smashin on the gas pedal, pump that hoe to the flo'
peel out the next corner, but i still see that hoe
think of a chilled place to park, i think i'll head to my pops
pulled up in the drive through, found the car was the damn cops


n/t high rollers

oo my bad i forgot to leave feedbak on Silent Will.umm work on ya structure big time..try to make every line rhyme..and make it flow good..


but people you got to leave feedback..iight..

that verse is aight try an mix up ur flow with diffrent delivery styles, i dont really know what else to say




say no more let me flip you up one from the repitoire
smoked a cuban cigar, on roll in my lexus car
to check up on my DAWGZ at the RESERVOIR
so they all hop in and we go cruisin to the spot
oh no the honeys aint forgot
ooh these tricks is tricky like a hook shot
damn does shorty ever look hot


next topic : the CHRONIC




not the album

That verse was simple and nice, I like tha flow, but up it a little next time, lil more complex and longer....nice meng'


Tha Chronic

My ex-girlfriend Mary Jane was one of my best...
Help'd me get up in tha mornin as well as put me to rest...
She took away stress n' sorta left me carefree...
I'de hit her hard as well as carefully...
She cared for me so I wouldn't share with others...
Only ones that got to sex her were my close brothers...
I kept her close by in ziplocks or stored in bottles...
You think you toke' dimes? I was smokin models...
For short I'de call Mary Jane "Weed"...
Sometimes she'd dress up in a swisher sweet for me...
She'd ride in my bongs, pipes n' papers...
Go from lookin like a shrub into complete vapors...
I didn't just date her we were married for years...
Tha day we broke up left me literally in tears...
Mary's no longer physically here...


topic: Nightmares

i liked that..nice way of stayin on topic. good imagery and good rhyming..keep it up homie..


this right here is you sleepin and ima nightmare
fuck tha rules i dont type fair,my bitch got light hair
juss keep in ya zone while i make u scream,u hate tha team
If i was Royality then it seems id have to rape tha queen
you wake up in hell you cant stop tha burning,
unable to regain consecinese u toss and turning
trying to get away from the pit of hell,imagery i spit it well
no place to hide your like a crab inside its shell
if you revise from your sleep u could be shake up
but that all depends if u have tha balls to wake up

n/t gettin jumped

I liked tha way you took Nightmare and flip'd it a little, didn't just talk on it bout bad dreams and shit...that was coo, go0d flow and wordplay with ya rhymes...

GetTiN juMPed


Somethin like seven dudes approachin me quickly...
Wearin hoody's, skully caps n' dixies...
I done fucked up cause I'm on tha wrong street...
Now I know that whiteboy is bout to get beat...
Pullin out knives, chains n' bats I'm bout to crap my pants...
I mean honestly how am I goin to stand up to that?!...
I got no gat I only got my fists as my heart starts to race...
They start wit tha shit talkin so I just spit in one's face...
Multiple kicks to tha head once they beat me down...
Gettin stomp'd soo bad I feel like I'm part of tha ground...
Tryin to swing back but I'm gettin stabbed n' battered...
Just felt my jaw crack, actually shatter...
I don't know if I'ma live or die so fuck it just lay there...
I'm knowin I'm gonna need a little bit more than daycare...
I ended up in a wheelchair, sixty two stitches n' a broken jaw...
But I ain't no snitch so fuck if I ran to tha law...
When I heal I plan on gettin em' back...
Cause I got a homeboy gettin in real tight wit tha whole pack...
I'ma strike back...

topic: drive-by on ya nextdoor neighbor's house

my niggas dont give a fuck
they pass niggas when they down they dont lend a hand to lift em up
its a party at my crib the drinks on us
gotta watch the music the neighbors hate our guts
this parties a lil twisted we smoked to blank our mind out
its drive-by time im bout to pull my nine out
i had it wit the neighbors i told them once
complaining one time they should've known was more than enough
man da cops showed up they left behind a warning
the weather says 2morrow's clear but 2nite it's storming
my mom on floor she ready for this
i bet the people next door not ready for the clips

ayo follow tha rules ^^ you need to leave feedback OK..OH and work on ya structure it was messy..and work on ya punches..

^^wOrD^^

but ay that was nice homey...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lyricalcontest

my niggas dont give a fuck
they pass niggas when they down they dont lend a hand to lift em up
its a party at my crib the drinks on us
gotta watch the music the neighbors hate our guts
this parties a lil twisted we smoked to blank our mind out
its drive-by time im bout to pull my nine out
i had it wit the neighbors i told them once
complaining one time they should've known was more than enough
man da cops showed up they left behind a warning
the weather says 2morrow's clear but 2nite it's storming
my mom on floor she ready for this
i bet the people next door not ready for the clips

---

work on ya structure, not diggen all the fillers and not so good rhyme scheme, work on being more punctual with ya lines, be more creative, its pretty main stream to me, work on complexity & wordplay, unique... And this is the *Net, lemmie see your nine....


this guy rhymn about nines, i bet its his actual age
Lyricalcontest dead, like he tried to rap from a grave,
i got so many edges on dis square, they call me n octagon
LC wouldnt blow up in rhymin if he were in the *Tali-ban
Yea! U so sick, I feel nautious, when you interrupt my presence
only time LC squared off with rappn, is w/ christmas presents...
.
.
.
N/T: suicide-pen

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by -Carcass-

work on ya structure, not diggen all the fillers and not so good rhyme scheme, work on being more punctual with ya lines, be more creative, its pretty main stream to me, work on complexity & wordplay, unique... And this is the *Net, lemmie see your nine....


this guy rhymn about nines, i bet its his actual age
Lyricalcontest dead, like he tried to rap from a grave,
i got so many edges on dis square, they call me n octagon
LC wouldnt blow up in rhymin if he were in the *Tali-ban
Yea! U so sick, I feel nautious, when you interrupt my presence
only time LC squared off with rappn, is w/ christmas presents...
.
.
.
N/T: Give Me Your Hardest Punches

---

Try to be more creative. I've heard the rapping christmas presents shit all the time holmes. But u had sum nice shit like taliban n all. Keep working on ur wordplay and make sure u word ur punches so that they can hit at thier hardes. To try have to more rhymes within as well.

Carcass...park your ass...you don't even rap
No energy..ur starchless...ur still doing textee crap
This isn't even music, ur just writing lyrics
I find it quite amusing....no need to rise your spirits
Its funny how u tell others to rep Hadez-Paragon
But u yourself represent a crew that ur not even on

Next Topic: A Dying Candle

Whats the next topic you fuckface...

imagine that, a face fuck, slit down the center, between the eyes
where your smaller head gets a bedtime kiss every night
oh, that sounds about right, really then you can call it a pussyface

i lit up, a candle never to be blown out, it was for eternity
opened my heart, so even god could turn to me
but he turned me away, shoved it all back into my face
so i was forced to the street, lookin like a disgrace
then one day i went back to the same "house of god"
and asked for forgiveness, but got bit on the back by a dog
grabbed the candle and ran, as fast as i ever done
reach into my pants, to pull out a polished gun
shoot the dog, and realise it was god himself
now i gotta worship satan, and put the candle on the shelf
it was blown out by the force of the gunshot
and suddenly redemption made my damn blood run hot.

topic: a cursed gun

TRACK that shit was nice meng'..good imagery and I was likin tha topic. Nice flow, nice word choices, good wordplay, that verse was deep...keep uppin


topic: CURSED GUN


I swear I got tha hollow tips why this bitch shootin blanks...
I'm tryin to cook dogs like ball park franks...
It ain't workin though, tha shit keeps jammin...
Every shot I bust isn't comin close to landin...
Can't hit my target n' I'm tryin my hardest...
This gat has been unaccurate ever since I bought it...
Now its turnin on me and I'm tha one holdin it...
Don't know whats happening but I'm not controllin it...
Lookin down tha barrell for tha first time I'm scared...
Goosebumps, sweatin like a pig n' fillin up wit tears...
This is a message from an almighty power...
I know I'm bout to taste flames n' gun powder...
Open my mouth to devour tha bullet n' take it like a man...
Just then, that damn pistol fell out of my hand..God Damn!

sorry ya'll...next topic: 25 to life in tha joint

good shyt yo...stuck to da topic flowed flawlessly n kept me interested

im gettin 25 to life ova some nonsense/
my boy killed a cop dey say im his accomplice/
it was me n my boy at da park, shyt was goin fine/
da cop came n shyt started to spark, my boy had a 9/
da cop said he recognized me, started askin me for i.d./
dig in my pocket n i realized i 4got to bring it wit me/
da cop said he'll bring me in for questionin/
opens da door to let me in/
my boys already tense so his clip he starts to empty n'/
anotha cop is passin by, and sees my boy shootin his gun/
my boy runs away to hide, and screams out from da bushes run/
i figured since i aint do shyt da officer would let me slide/
can i walk away i ask her, n she pushes me towards da side/
pats me down n cuffs me up/ im screamin out "wat the fuck"/
my "boy" runs away n dont come back/ da pig takes me to da precinct to ask/
me questions as if i murdered her ally/ she sets it up n tells a big lie/
cuz of her lies n deceipt in jail i will spend twenty five

next topic: your suicide note

nice man, it was stayin on topic...flow was descent, lil choppy here and there but I was followin ya, imagery at points were good...nice keep uppin...

Suicide Note "iterally what it would read"( tryin sumpthin diff. )

"Mom, I love you please don't be mad...
But its been quite some time now, that I've been sad...
Please don't feel bad, you've raised me right...
I'm just depressed and fed up with life...
I've tried to overcome it and appreciate the good things...
But nothing's happened now I have to see what my death'll bring...
Take my ring and keep it on your necklace...
Take my demo's and listen to them clearly...
I know now that I'm gone you'll have a chance to hear me...
Tell Patrick he's my bro for life, and Jenn that I love her...
Tell Dad he's the best father..Mom, your the best mother...
Don't worry bout me, I'll always be watchin...
I don't feel I'm goin to hell Mom, I'll be in heaven...
Waitin at the gates the day you want to be let in...
Well, this is it Mom I'm going to miss you...
But its time to do it, I've ran out of tissues...
.................................................. ............
.................................................. .............."

nect topic: Hillbillies

hillbillies act a lil' silly, especially when
They chasin around lil' sissy tryin force themselves in
Like, Mary Jo- come let me pop that cherry why run away
But she all, That cherry's done had been popped- since last monday
And they fuck anyway, then Freakshow join the festivities
Mary Jo have a baby but it's her brother thats still feedin off her titties

how can I elevate on a topic like that?

topic: eatin a girls ass raw
^yeah, try that shit^