exclusive..(first piece)

replied to deva, gunna and rule....

first post here and hope yall enjoy.....hopefully will be a audio someday....


ima rapid artist, thats rap is arson, my flow is burning decks like gas is poured in/ relax i was born in, the tracks that i form with my brain, yall act like my lines is borin/ the fame i collected is pain i neglected, my time has come to shine as i raise to the heavens/ hates the answer, sicc of debate and slander, the way i walk this line desides my faith like cancer/ i try to forget the past, always sit in last, always behind well theres people kissen ass/ ahead of me? the methenthedmines dissagree/ where were you at when rest infest the streets/ its hard to say that youth, is afraid of you but its the words outta my mouth state the truth/ i cant beleave that life, is a reason to fight, well your at home living somone bleeding at night/ my mind state, a migrain, to fight pain is to live normally and never resign games/

its really dope for your first text, try to fix yo structure man, its pretty wild. I like the flow even though it has a couple of parts that dont really match ya know. You seriously got sum talent if this is yo first piece man. Keep writin that shit man, peace

well, i ment first peice at this site.....lol.....but yeah i should have thought before i wrote that.....thanx tho.....

dat was hott man. i got no tips u just did great

Yeah i agree this was pretty good.....but your structure needs some work...dont put it in paragraph form, try putting it line on top of line so its structured good and so it helps the flow out...you had some good multies in this i thought...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

yeah thanx yall uppin for more more feedback....

uppin...

You had good multis.. well done.. That is more than most cats around here.. If your content was better, you'd be better than most the cats on this site..lol.. You need to really work on your content though.. Shit sucked

Pz.