Check IT

ya pain is mainly explained out and exposed//
when ya toughen up and come toe to toe//
with a demon thats steamin with rage who is me//
if ya ready get steady to turn to tha next page of this phat beat//
my rap sheet is a sweet 45 pages i kill in three different stages//
ya can strive to revive ya self but need not help from me//
go ahead n try to climb tha ladder of success but that bladder infection from tha ovadose of midol will over triumph you//
try to pull some kind a move ill instantaneously have ya pumped full of lead//
shed ya skin with 9 outta 10 of these switchblades//
the slit made indicates the make and model of the stitch//
the trait that have will make you, 10 of ya friends, and ya dad drop jaws//

this shit sux if ne one gots ne suggestions on how i can improve hit me wit em

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed..

But this was ok......structure needs some work though....some of your lines are stretched out too far, shorten them down a bit and keep your lines around the same length....also try adding multies and internals to this to help it out....but this was ok...keep at it.

it was straight, flow was ight...
7/10

again ya bars but otha wise this was good, i liked parts and shitm, keep it up hommie

pz

THIS WASNT BAD AT ALL I DEFINETLY SEE A WORLD OF TALENT AND POSSIBILITY JUST NEEDS TO BE WORKED MORE