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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...487#post970487
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=97107

Just a little something I had typed up a lil bit back, maybe a week or two...

I know you drop to your knees when I spit wit it ease/
but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

I haven't spit so long even I done forgot I existed/
Style so Vile and twisted like a professional enlisted/
the unlisted resident to this hip hop poetry/
showin the masses that I still have the flow in me/
im like atomic weapons deadly through perfections/
even when Im fucked up I annialate in all directions/
my complexion and connections can get the masses exceptin/
even bosses in this shit will recognize the reserection/
im like a deadly infection everyone know your gunna bite it/
so I don't even bother using any effort while I write shit/
its over now Kast back in the game and could give a fuck if you like it//

I know you drop to your knees when I spit it wit ease/
but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

Now that the keys started bumping your knees started bucklin/
the G's started chucklin cause they knew Keith started somethin/
or maybe its nothin but look I could teach you something of the dark realm/
but I dont really want to overwhelm anyone so its not gunna happen/
keep tha clubs clappin like Ja's last joint shit was off point soft as the skin of snow white/
dont get too excited it might cause a chain reaction get ya brain relaxin/
im not playin tha director and tryin to call for action just a lil drop/
to stop those who've forgoten those who have goten too cocky for their spot when/
Kast is still learkin faggots is still jerkin like dudes in Mass' asses are hurtin/
my words will still blurt when these bitches come walkin or stalkin me/
your just talkin "B" this aint Oprah Winfrey im not tryin to spawn a discussion/
stop the fussing this joint aint really nothing its just something to bring Kast to the front end//

I know you drop to your knees when I spit it wit ease/
but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

good rhyme scheme man

good vocab and flow

good flow on the chorus too

keep postin and ill watch for ya.

one......................................

I DO RECALL YOU AND RECall you were very ill this was a good peace and you embodied all elements i enjoyed thios alot and i really cant find a flaw yet but none the less this was well worth the read

Yeah i agree this was a good piece here....enjoyed the read...your structure seemed pretty good, just in the last verse your lines got kinda stretched but nothing big though....flow in this was pretty good i thought...vocab in this was good as well...overall i thought this was a good piece...keep at it.

thank you all for the feedback much appreciated...

bump...

an wanted 2 hit this up coz it was hevy, 1 of the best i seen, but tru say gals only been here 4 lil time, 9/10

try not to leave spaces in between do, but if thats yo style cool

thnx ma, stay up...

nice shit dawg keep ya head

^thanx for the reply...

This is a niiiiice ass peice.. I felt it from start to finish, 1st thing I've ever read from you.. keep that shit up man

^thanx...

nice multis, good structure, nice flow...great vocab, keep it up

good read man, you had a lot of good elements in this, i felt your flow seemed stretched in some parts..the last verse...it had some good lines very well done keep it up

Pretty good. I really liked the chorus. It was catchy. Work on structure. Vocab was great. Would be a good audio.