Quick Keystyle..

Jus sumthin from when I put my verse together from me and my boy jus spittin back and forth.. n yeah.. i kno the structure's fucked but i don't feel like editing it..

Me and my boys will whipp ya ass halfway outta the class.. Niggaz wanna hate on me cuz I gotta A in math.. I'm pissed at the world so stay outta the way cuz everyones gonna feel my wrath. .. I spit a word wit a couple or a few verbs.. I whip nerds to 3rd degree.. I shine brighter than the sun so you need sunglasses to see me.. I rip niggaz and bounce to the next like like bad checks.. .. I spit a word wit a couple or a few verbs.. I whip nerds to 3rd degree.. I shine brighter than the sun so you need sunglasses to see me.. I come thru in a G-5 wagon.. Bling Blingin wit my pants still saggin.. You know i'm the shit cuz I party in toilet bowls, my games like squad cars cuz i'm coppin all the hoes..They call me Mister Rogers cuz I'm jus too nice.. My flows hott like volcanic eruptions it'll melt ya ice..I spit straight fire so you can't handle-my-bars like fallin off a bike.. Hate biters, Thas why I can't stand Iron Mike.. I need a few chicks to fullfill my needs..I make bitches lacktose when it comes to my cheese.. Got madd of hoe's on my dick like havin sex in a garden..Give hoes permission slips to leave when they ask for pardon.. I get Madd Chicks like upset birds.. If a chick do me wrong I jus kick em to the curb.. My rhymes are ubsurd.. Cuz i'm droppin hot shit like over heated terds

n yeh I know.. ttalkin bout the bling bling sounds mainstream but hey.. twas a keystyle


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...271#post959271 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...5&pagenumber=2 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=96343

A lil feedback..pleeeez

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boy, well, errrm, errr, yeah this had good rhymes, but the topic was a lil farfetched i would say, u say shit about a in maths, why dont u get yo ass into a good job den instead of chatting shit:laugh2: , but apart from that i'll give you 5 outta ten! piece

Quote:

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Originally posted by 80SHOTS
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boy, well, errrm, errr, yeah this had good rhymes, but the topic was a lil farfetched i would say, u say shit about a in maths, why dont u get yo ass into a good job den instead of chatting shit:laugh2: , but apart from that i'll give you 5 outta ten! piece

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Cuz.. I'm too young to get a job But thanks for the feedback anyway..

How old is you, Rogers? That shit ain't half bad.

14..

pretty young, dawg, you got the madd skillz compared to anyone else your age.

yo im only 13

Umm.. uppin for reply's

And that was for ?
C'mon now.. if you ain't gonna post stay outta my neighborhood !

You're right, the structure really threw this piece off. . Made it a pain in the ass to read a paragraph. .

The content was ehhh. . No eye popping lines at all. In the beginning, it was obvious you were trying, then later on you started to talk about bling bling, and completely lost my interest.

The flow was good for the most part. . It was kind of hard to pick up on, just because the structure is so fucked, but it was cool none-the-less.

Overall, this was decent. I've seen a lot better from you, and if you keep writing, you'll elevate again.

Btw - I'm only 15.

yeah the content was alright but the bar structure really thru it off
press enter after each bar it'll make it easier to read and it'll help ya ta elevate

~1~