tryin to elevate here (feedback needed)

yo nigga im simalar to an elevator cause im all about elevation/
my dick causes bitches and hoes mass salivation/

im raw nigga i dont give a fuck piss me off and i will rip out yo liver/
im like "karl" cause im the "mailman" when it comes to rappin i always "deliver"/

nigga i got hell-a-dough im fuckin rich call me a ghetto casino/
battlin me is an automatic blow out like eminim battlin benzino/

bitches need to get it straight there not respectable there just tricks/
call me "payton" cause im "man-ing" you bitch wit my dick/

nigga i make my money by pimpin hoes and slangin rocks/
right now i have only "2" enemies and they bouts to get gunned down like "pac"/

holla at yo boi
give me some feedback
~1~

uppin fo feedback come on people dont sleep give me some honest feedback.

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DONT SLEEP
holla at yo boi
~1~

uppin again

somebody please give me some feedback.

dont sleep on this

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holla at yo boi
~1~

yoo good shit...

much room 4 improvement..

not bad wordplay
flow...could get betta
but good material
multies..will get betta
good metas

overall not a bad piece...

keep uppin

peace

ok, flow wasnt bad, vocab decent, wordplay and punches where pretty good...multies could use a lil work..overall not that bad...keep dropping...


im raw nigga i dont give a fuck piss me off and i will rip out yo liver/
im like "karl" cause im the "mailman" when it comes to rappin i always "deliver"/

liked that shit the most ^

if you get a chance peep my latest open mic and leave me some feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=83967

hey yo that piece was pretty dope man....
could improve it by having beter multi's....
your word play is good but can be improved upon to....
but overall i think that this was some dope shit man.....
keep elevating..................

thanks fo the feed back my niggas.

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holla at yo boi
~1~

not to bad i didnt like it but i have an aqquired ear for a certain type of hip hop, but improvment is needed and tha skill to utilize that improvment is there, you structure was good, rhyme scheme was aiight, i thought your lines were to stretched out, u should drop tha gangsta style, cause that doesnt help your flow, you should elevate your skill before you put down your persona, uh u need multis multis will help your flow, other than that it wasnt that bad,keep elevatin and keep droppin.~1~

thanks fo the feedback my niggas.

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holla at yo boi
~1~