Hellbound

I look into my childs eyes and see the world glow
Reach into the wild see stars shine down below
Define the reasoning behind you reap what you sow
In the end you'll have to repay all that you owe

Pain breeds a change you will never escape
How can one man ever learn to change his fate?
Deep inside I yearn to banish this inner hate
For gods sake I fake the will to run this race
At this snails paced planned rate
We are doomed to forever repeat damned mistakes
Drowning quickly in the sulfuric lake
I survive barely if only for my childs sake
When the lord opened his arms to me and then spake
I finally gave in and filled my plate
Replaced hate with love still a minute to late
Forever bound by the apple poor adam ate

I look into my childs eyes and see the world glow
Reach into the wild see stars shine down below
Define the reasoning behind you reap what you sow
In the end you'll have to repay all that you owe

As i walk two broken legs carry this wounded shell
In this livid sentence of undeserved and misplaced hell
It seems I'm afflicted by some type of horrendous spell
Hard to tell how long and deep the morningstar fell
In this dark and cavernous well i search to quell
My continous thirst for the knowledge of this ominous bell
Subtle words play softly in the foreground of my mind
Slowly spinning silent symphonies sending shivers down my spine
The demons use my carcass as a feast on which to dine
No longer is my soul my own and my body is not mine
And so I spout spiritual epiphanies line by fucking line
If the GOOD LORD exists its about time for a sign
And just then the night dissolved into golden sunshine
Inside I knew the end was near and everything was just fine

I look into my childs eyes and see the world glow
Reach into the wild see stars shine down below
Define the reasoning behind you reap what you sow
In the end you'll have to repay all that you owe

not bad, very heartfelt, I like it and thought it was entertaining

i agree this wasnt a bad peace by any means i give you mad ;props twin

"I look into my childs eyes and see the world glow
Reach into the wild see stars shine down below
Define the reasoning behind you reap what you sow
In the end you'll have to repay all that you owe"
for real, that was one of the nicest choruses i read
on OM for a long long time, deep, meaninful, creative
imaginative, flowed like water.....................................

first verse was alrite, the opener could have
been a bit stronger, u know so u interest the
reader into reading the whole thing, but your
flow was nice, and your style was very orginal
i liked that the most about your first verse,
you just have a different apporach to this,
your content was good, but like i dunno if adding
more multies would help your flow cause at some
like 1 or 2 lines it was kinda off [but not by much]
but nnaa forget adding in more multies it will throw
off your content...............anywayz that was a dope
first verse............................................. .......................

"As i walk two broken legs carry this wounded shell" dope starter
"The demons use my carcass as a feast on which to dine" oh dear! is someone a bit evil, lol
"And so I spout spiritual epiphanies line by fucking line
If the GOOD LORD exists its about time for a sign" dope
"Inside I knew the end was near and everything was just fine"dope ender

i liked the second verse better then the first,
wow first piece i read of yours, you is d-o-p-e
flow's good, creative imaginative and your
structure is strong, rhymes are gripping.........

good job done.....................................keep it up

it seemed a dark theme, but was there, i thought the second verse was the stronger, it seemed to folw better - better structure, but on the hole thought it was quite good.....

i thought this piece had a good flow second verse was alittle beter than the first but the first was still dope....
yo the title was good...haha....
"As i walk two broken legs carry this wounded shell
In this livid sentence of undeserved and misplaced hell"...i think that was one of the best bits maybe even the best...
yo thats got me in the mood so im gona drop check it out when its done plz....
keep dropin dawg.....props....