Off The Top

................................. :nono:

My minds racin and I cant deny patience...
Probaly assumed that id be that freak slideshow
Strung out swung out high broke--no words just dopeness

For individuals that cant face facts they force feed...
Eyes to the skies perhaps god can riddle me with more glee...
Verse construction takes place without beats..--its getting better

Yall know I come longer than this freaking a track
Like two asian lesbians with pierced tonges
For those eardrums I fear none....--hahahahhahahaha

Dawg you got drumbeats in your words i mean that. This was dope, i kinda lost your flow in the third verse but overall this was a hot joint man. For those who doubted you give'em hell and those who stood in your way break their backs wit words. The title suggests this came off the top of the dome so there may not be any particular meaning but it sounds as if you're telling someone "this is ME and there is nothing you can do about it. I'm good I know i'm good and if you don't like it FUCK YOU". I think thats part of the reason I liked this poem so much. Keep doing ya thang homie. 1

to be real i dont get it could u explain it?~1luv~

I checked it. I read it. I thought it showed talent. On all three fronts. I couldn't really feel it as much as I figured I could, but I tried. Sincere.

~Islam~

Profitt...thank you for being openmind lik
many people arent on the regular...no matter
what you do someone gonna think bad on you..

say I write to deep...its not good enough
it wasnt deep...its not good enough
this isnt poetry..its not good enough

al lyrics are poetry...with all due respect
fuck you with a diseased infested strap on

necro you wont like anything I write so please...
I could model a million styles for you and
you would say the same thing it seems.....
I'ts like I know what your gonna say so
why say it? Your wasting your time and mine...

bad ass bitch for life from california...your state
has the most horrible drivers ever...if the streets
are wet they drive faster......I got fam there

this was titled off the top for a reason..
I didnt use a damn notebook and said
what came to me off the top.....
like a freestyle without people screaming..
im sure you saw eight mile once or twice...

can you pleae put your sig in your signature
unless you dont want it there I sent it to you
off the top....instant message...note to self..
send this girl the sig she finally cleared her pm's

please check your mail...
necro..please never reply to me...
profitt...thank you

Dude... did you even read what I said?

Nevermind. Look, I'm not going to argue with you. I told you I'm not going to argue with you. I -=~refuse~=- to argue with you. Now you are just going to have to grow up, act mature, and accept that. I'm trying to act mature (And believe me, that aint no easy feat), so I at least deserve the same respect from you in return.

Love and peace.

~Islam~

i just dont know what it would be that would get your thumbs up....im not ukranian or residing in england,..ireland..france...
im not roots manuva...nor would I wanna be

the fuck you ish was for everyone whos like that not just you
the lil teapot tryin to easedrop on a conversation not involving
you....you grow up please

Mmk I tried to reply last night but my computer was being so friendly and after I quoted you for the second time it froze... here we go again:
I agreed with Proph about that whole "this is me" statement you have but I also got that you're through bein mr. Nice guy because it's gotten you no where, or it's tired you out... Which I think everyone knows how that feels (if I'm wrong I'm wrong I know you're a lot deeper than I am so I understand that I may misinterprate your writing) I liked the sarcastic tone you seemed to have durring this, and then the last part you just seemed to full on let loose your agressions without masking them in anything. Again you have portraied emotion and writting skills in another peice (and written it so well that not all can understand) You speak in rythm and riddles in this peice it seemed to me. But it was good because it didn't let you just read it, you had to think to know what you're talking about. Normally I go through a peice and try to pick out the one line that jumped out at me, in this there were many but my favorite by far was:
"My thoughts run along outside their houses carrying
On provoking conversations knockin patience..."
The average person wouldn't think to personify their thoughts, and the very fact that not only you did but that you created a stencil of imagry where the reader could fill in what their mind saw speaks wonders of you. I loved that line, I went back and re read it because that was a very creative idea. My other favorite line was: "Mostly unusual at times like a child with both parents" I was wowed by that line, because that is true and you just spit it out... no worries, and it was good. I liked ya peice, sorry if I've said anything to offend ya, an if ya need to talk about somethin that's got you upset then you can always talk to me bud... amazing drop, peace

-"State the truth in places where its placed by few..."

tightest line.. not only is it cleverly worded, but truly has universal meaning.

the rest of your verse was just as well, another standout line:
-"Eyes to the skies perhaps god can riddle me with more glee..."

Overall nice piece. good read.

The complex rawness (due to how you wrote so within yourself first, then depicting to the audience second...to a bursting like good effect).

An overall explosive piece of emotions, hidden with personal meanings that are not closed for the reader to inteprete.

Placings profound lines in and around ones which keep the essence of the piece going. Yet all with relative meaning.

You've done a few pieces like this (i mean the subject matter). Not exactly the same, but along the lines. This one seems like you're going into the 'end zone'. With the 'sick of being nice' feel at the start. And overall constant hard hitting barrage. If this was off the top of your head, you must've been in the 'zone'.

...resp...

thank you for noticing...ths is my expression 'petastool'
and the result of many saying down on me...

i dont think im the best and I acknolwledge those
with levels wish I was on..but I know im good

thank you for analyzng..seriously..and
sorry necro im bitchy from work...if e met
in real life youd probaly be a cool person...
ima very defensive person and I appologize..

peace

Wow..alot of talking in this thread...
I liked this piece....
I sensed the personal views in it..and didn't
try to read to much into them, like i'm known to
do..but I still followed it clearly....
nice drop

Quote:

---

Originally posted by ~Soultress~
Wow..alot of talking in this thread...
I liked this piece....
I sensed the personal views in it..and didn't
try to read to much into them, like i'm known to
do..but I still followed it clearly....
nice drop

---

what he said

Once again, I can fell your intent and take aim with you. The target was hit, and re hit, so I can tell you wanted to make your point without reservation. The level of complexity seemed to be misleading, as if you wanted someone to read into or over analyize, just for a dramatic effect. I don't remember ever having trouble following your encryption, but what you "said" needed to be "voiced", cuz it's a valid issue here on RB. I have been a victim of it more than I care to mention. So your stance on this subject is a respectible one, one that needs more exposure. Keep redefining yourself, and sooner or later "they'll" get the message... Peace out and much respect, but you already know who respects your work...