Check in's are due TUESDAY
Verses are due THURSDAY
Voting End's SATURDAY
You must vote on 5 battles, and drop your links
in the Voting Thread
Topic...
moving on
Check in's are due TUESDAY
Verses are due THURSDAY
Voting End's SATURDAY
You must vote on 5 battles, and drop your links
in the Voting Thread
Topic...
moving on
Sorry Sureal, but Sand hasn't been around forever. Checking in for this shit. This battle has been 5 weeks in the making...lol.
Word, In...
Forgot to do a limit, how about max = 30. Get at me AIM if it isn't.
Word, 30 Max..
Moving On..
Story
A Petite Mother, A Young Child..
Father Locked Up, Had Gone Wild..
With 'Daddy' Gone, Life Was Fine..
Grew Up Normal, Drugs Declined..
Child's Thoughts, Priceless Thing..
Thoughts and Heartache,They Both Sting..
Escape
Father Hell-Bent On One Revenge.
Mother Worry Free, Son Couldn't Comprehend..
Broke Out Of Jail To Finish The Job..
Mother Awoke, Heart Starts To Throb..
Knows Somethin Is Not Right In The World..
Her Thoughts Are Surreal, Frantik, and Swirled..
Planning
Came Up To The House, It Was Pitch Black..
Time To Carry Out, The Well Planned Attack..
Jimmy'ed The Window Open, Climbed Inside..
Thought Of All The Time, Had Been Denied.
His Heart Told Him No, Pain Could Be Without..
This Pent Up Rage, Was Now Seeping Out..
Getting Even
Sneaks Into Her Room, Wakes Up In Shock..
Can Barely Breathe, Her Airway's Blocked..
Looks Up To See The Most Treadful Of Man..
As Hard As She Tries, Cant Move His Hand..
Looks To His Eyes, She's Terrified..
Finally Breaks Down, Begins To Cry..
Moving On
Son Walks In, In A Trance Like Motion..
Hates His Father, All His Pent Up Emotion..
The Cowardly Father, Captured In Frustration..
Son For His Father, Lost All Admiration..
Final Effect
Would No Longer Be His Fathers Meditatious Pawn..
With A Pull Of The Trigger, The Son Moved On..
...Word...
-Sureal
Looks Like Another No Show Title Win For Me...
and Matt, On The Real, I Dont Want Any BS Excuses..
Cuz I Was Out Of Town For A Bit Too..
So I Posted My Verse Early..
Plz Explain..
Sorry, but I got stuck in LA longer then I thought. I thought I'd be able to get to a computer. My bad, but let's still do this. It doesn't matter, seedings have already been made, so this is for fun.
Sitting in my room, my mind is empty, I'm just reflecting
Taking my time to gather my things, memories re-collecting
Paying no attention to the fact that I should be in haste
Wondering how I am supposed to fit my whole life, into a suitcase
18 years of my life echoes throughout these hollowed walls
I can't look at a single place without a memory to recall
The toilet that I puked in, the first time I got drunk
The fan I used to air out my room, after smoking my first blunt
The bed in which my girl and I, that brilliant night, got down
The computer I always used, to make my bumpin sounds
Its hard knowing, I won't see these comforts again
My suitcase is packed, a new life about to begin
But I am hesitant...In no hurry to walk out that door
Lookin up at the ceiling as I lay here on my floor
Between the past and the future I don't know which way to go
Not wanting to leave my room at all, my body is in Limbo
Then I hear my Dad say, "Ready to go son?"
And then I have the feeling, that it's time for me to Move on...
vote-Mad Man
Sureal, I liked your piece a lot, in fact it was dope, but I'm really getting sick of the "son kills father" stories. It was really well written, but it's just getting too played out.
I liked Mad's verse more because it was full of fond memories and strange adjectives. For example, "that brilliant night". I've never heard a night described as brilliant. A really nice line was:
"Paying no attention to the fact that I should be in haste
Wondering how I am supposed to fit my whole life, into a suitcase"
good battle, even if was just for fun.
Peace
Yes Mine Was Dope... And On Time...
Nope............Sureal Still Got It...........He Had The Topic Locked
Down Better Than Mad......Not That His Wasn't A Good Drop....But
Sureal Came Better..........Both Of Yallz Sound Like Poetry Tho
Instead Of Flows.....But It Was Still Nice.....
i too give this one to sureal........ he had a better topical for the topic.... now mad you my dog and you had a good one too..... but sureal just got this with better everything....... good matfchup
vote = sureal