RW WK6: TheShaman vs mal diction (TheShaman wins)

https://i.ibb.co/Vq695DQ/Held4ransom.png

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Held 4 Ransom Battle
Bars due Wednesday 11th December
Public voting closes Saturday 14th December
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Overall public vote = 1 vote
MV’s vote = 1 vote
Bags vote = 1 vote
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6 lines each (doesn’t have to be 3 bars with a set up, punch format, you have creative freedom)

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Posting explanations / references below your bars is strongly recommended.
Rebuttals, late drops (unless you have a 24hr ext) & no shows are an instant loss.
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The theme for this round is that you have kidnapped your opponent & are currently holding them hostage for ransom. You can write about how you're gonna fuck em up, have a phone call with whoever’s gonna pay the ransom or anything else related to the situation.


@TheShaman @mal diction

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check
@TheShaman ...

Quote:

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The theme for this round is that you have kidnapped your opponent & are currently holding them hostage for ransom. You can write about how you're gonna fuck em up, have a phone call with whoever’s gonna pay the ransom or anything else related to the situation.

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you're not seeing light tonight.. as i write your fright
and thats cus you bite, and i'm here to slight your sight
theme music "Beef"... as you get lulled to sleep
skull beat the weak cus i'm tougher than wool of sheep
smokin' this and that fool, buried in the pit of death;
the glimpes of threats, underneath the spits of sweat...

Check @mal diction

I'll write this ransom letter with random letters cuz I know your fam is bummy.
So when I kidnap this junkie 250 $ is all I'm demanding for ransom money.
Your raps are corny. They should've sent your ass to study at Julliard.
Instead you wrote My Foolish Heart and got your hand sent in a cookie jar.
Mal Diction? He thought the tumor in his head was benign cuz Mal ignant.
Had to kill him, cuz throwing needles at him was the only way his fam missed him.

i got Shaman taking this.

mal’s verse was good, flowed well, but it didn’t seem like it fully embraced the theme of the round save for a few word associations in the first & last line. i’ll say this: mal, you have insane, insane potential. you just have to take the theme of the battle and literally write nothing other than lines that include references to the theme, in this case, just a few more lines that made it seem like you had captured or were torturing Shaman or something, or mentioning wanting a reward for his return, really anything.. you have the flow, pacing and wording on lock, your only drawback is going off topic. if you keep the theme in mind, you’d be more of a problem than you already are. i promise! i was rooting for you this round man, but Shaman is a hard opponent to slip past. you did your thing as always though. & i like that you always show up to your next rounds, win lose or draw. good shit.

Shaman’s verse was on point. the opener was wild. lmao & the pronunciation of cookie as “kooky” i liked that shit. malignant was a dope flip but i feel it was more of a battle bar diss & off topic for a kidnap scenario but it still landed so it’s a small nitpick. closing line was decent, wording was kinda weird/slightly confusing but the rest of the verse carried & the point was clear, the captive didn’t make it out of the encounter. nice job overall.

nice read, gents.

Howl.

Yeah, I second what Jack said, Mal. Good shit.

Isn't cookie pronounced kooky? lol. How do you pronounce it?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TheShaman

Isn't cookie pronounced kooky? lol. How do you pronounce it?

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Lol.. have you heard Shook Ones by Mobb Deep? think of how they pronounce “shook” and put an “ie” on the end of it. that’s how we pronounce cookie in the US lol.

It's the same way I pronounce it? Julli-ard / Cookie jar? :huh:

Jew-lee-ard /c’uh-key-jar

I think the first syllable is pronounced slightly differently in most accents I’ve heard, but it’s not a problem. Having a Danish accent is a cheat code, you could rhyme anything with anything and we’d all be like yeah it’s fine he’s Danish.

I think Shaman got this one. The opener angle was funny. The hand in a cookie jar line was nicely specific, evokes a strong image. I feel like there might have been some wordplay which went over my head relating the hand in the cookie jar with something else from the bar, I’m not sure why I like it so much but that’s ok. Pronouncing ignorant as ignant is swagged out, and the wordplay was creative.

Mal’s style is unusual and I respect that. The silky smooth flow and eloquent word choice seems juxtaposed with the brutality of the imagery and it just works, you know? A gentle killer kind of feel to it. Dude’s an artist.

Damn, this is a close one. Both seemed to be half on theme, although I would say mal stayed slightly more so.

Mal's got this really unique way of not writing punches or including much wordplay but still creates a feeling and paints a picture with it.

Shaman was definitely more punch heavy, mal ignant was a fire nameflip. The on-topic stuff did hit a little harder than Mal's, and although I didn't get that uniqueness Mal's style brings, I think Shaman did enough to win this one.

I wish you'd incorporate more nameflips / wordplay into your style @mal diction , it'll have you levelling up a lot imo.

Vote Shaman

Mals verse rhymes well and has good vocab but lacked punches “I’m tougher than a wool of sheep” is more of a brag than a punchline for instance shamans was more polished and flowed just as nicely I think he lacked real sting but was a nice read tbh and the wording was very polished

V/shaman