RW WK3: Mal Diction vs Slayerr (Slayerr. W)

https://i.ibb.co/17pJ0W3/RBRW2.jpg
Bars due Friday the 1st

Public voting closes Sunday the 3rd

First person to check in has their choice of side-kick.
_

Overall public vote = 1 vote

MV’s vote = 1 vote

Bags vote = 1 vote

This themed round requires that you disrespect your opponent and their ability to be a proper side-kick from the perspective of a tried and true side-kick, an example of which would be:

I spun by sponge bobs house to spray you, bought a fresh box to lay you
Ill make good work putting Pat on his back got a star in the dirt making angels

Posting explanations / references below your bars is strongly recommended.

Rebuttals, late drops & no shows are an instant loss.

(1 x 24hr extension per person for the whole event)

HoneySuckle (DC) vs Hit-GIrl (Marvel)
@mal diction @Slayerr.

Check, not entirely sure how this works but you’ll be hit girl

I’m the most distinct, stand aside prick coz without a doubt you’re done
the closest you’ll come to being a proper side kick is when I knock you out with one
You’re fashion game needs to be louder son, u can do better so show me man
Coz the only time I ever see someone pull off purple n leather was on ur mums onlyfans
I understand your family’s fucked u up tho u need support that’s facts
When u lost your virginity to big daddy n u actually grew up calling him that

check in

Hit-Girl:

HoneySuckle fits you Slay, cus you're a flower and you're sweet
devoured when we meet, watch you cower in you're sheets
for now and for a week. they got us flowing as some chicks
but ur a clover when ur picked, i'll leave you folded on a fence
knowing that i'm sick! he's only shining when i'm clicking the sticks...
… camping out with his girl while she's pitching my tent

Deep analysis:
I think everyone's overall prep work hasn't been great and admin kinda went mid week it might be a contributing factor

for slay my biggest concern was the first line feeling to subtle. but hey sometimes its good but i feel you mixed it up enough while staying on theme to take this one. imo



real quick lets really look at mals composition though.. i mean son wins in some good categories but this time for me he missing 1 and thats punch. you have some layers and wp but without directing the focus i can't say its a hard hit, examples

you have a bar and a half of ill multis that you did better than slay imo in like 5 min lol and i get consistency in the wordplay that can tie in. not for nothing i kinda feel you did but idk how to explain it but ill show you. ---
devoured when we meet, watch you cower in you're sheets
for now and for a week--- its almost like if you were comparing her to red riding hood she is a plant based character with the name honeysuckle that you wil devour and hiding under sheets can tie in.. but thats just me speculating there isnt a tie in for me to have that rational honestly.. like your piece is great for imagery but i think that battle with unfuk was like your raw form.

clover when your picked is so fire.. like saying your out of luck.. its almost like you create a hidden juxtaposition because picking a 4 leaf clover is lucky but being picked to battle you is out of luck and then it would word so well with her being plant based.. it just that im speculating unfortunately. and you may not have intended any of what i said at all. what im getting at though is you have some good writing techniques but some prep time i think you be good to go.

this was a pretty basic battle slays first bar was the hardest of the battle and in my honest opinion mals last bar didn't even rhyme so because of that....

MVGT- SLAY


G/L

Vote - Honeysuckle

this was a cool battle. Honeysuckle had the more personal verse & ended it with a good punch (Big Daddy is Hit Girl’s father/combat instructor)

mal’s verse as Hit Girl wasn’t as personal & i felt like it was coming from two different angles, half Hit Girl half mal himself. the flow & multis were impeccable though, mal’s a beast in that aspect, but the theme has to be consistent for it to go over. i feel like if mal had more prep time to research his character or maybe even his opponent’s character, he might’ve etched out a win but that wasn’t the case here. i think my only advice would be to check in early to catch the week’s theme in order to prepare better. great showing though, dude came through & wrote not one verse but two, showing that he’s here to give it his best shot unlike some poor sports, so good shit.

nice jobs gents.

Howl.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jack Hallows

Vote - Honeysuckle

this was a cool battle. Honeysuckle had the more personal verse & ended it with a good punch (Big Daddy is Hit Girl’s father/combat instructor)

mal’s verse as Hit Girl wasn’t as personal & i felt like it was coming from two different angles, half Hit Girl half mal himself. the flow & multis were impeccable though, mal’s a beast in that aspect, but the theme has to be consistent for it to go over. i feel like if mal had more prep time to research his character or maybe even his opponent’s character, he might’ve etched out a win but that wasn’t the case here. i think my only advice would be to check in early to catch the week’s theme in order to prepare better. great showing though, dude came through & wrote not one verse but two, showing that he’s here to give it his best shot unlike some poor sports, so good shit.

nice jobs gents.

Howl.

---

i think this was a pretty thorough breakdown of the battle. and gives me a chance to reflect and add some caveats. These subjects are handpicked and meant to allow everyone to spread their wings, have fun, and get outside their comfort zone while sticking to a competitive battle format. But the thing we don't want people to lose sight of is there is a cash prize at the end. I like to see the motivation in ya'll bars, it honestly inspires me. Mal seemed a bit confused on this subject and i will take that as a personal failing. I will try to make my instructor clearer in the future. Jack brought up Mal's multies, that's something I've been saying for a long minute. That dude can flow and ride a multi-pattern seemingly effortlessly. But the punches were not up to par for him here. Slayerr didnt take full advantage of the theme but stayed on topic well enough. I want to encourage you both to make use of explanations after your bars if you want to go a bit more in-depth and worry about the reader's comprehension.

v/Slayerr

Yeah Mal’s flow was really nice with internal multis and transitional rhymes, I give a lot of credit for that. The verse lacked in punches however, and, nameflips aside, if there were any thematic parts which related to his character or his opponent’s character then I missed them due to Mal not posting an explanation. Good showing though.

Slayerr had harder punches throughout and fit the brief much better by referring to thematic specifics such as Big Daddy, Hitgirl’s suit etc. Would have been advisable to post explanations though. I assumed the big daddy relevance due to the context, but luckily Jack explained it properly in his vote coz I’m definitely not wanting to have to research any more superhero stuff this week.

Vote- Slayerr.

I’m the most distinct, stand aside prick coz without a doubt you’re done
the closest you’ll come to being a proper side kick is when I knock you out with one
Nice opening punch, straight to the point & effective. If I had to offer constructive criticism I would've liked a bit more flamboyance in the set up to add that extra je ne sais qoui, but it rhymed & flowed well
You’re fashion game needs to be louder son, u can do better so show me man
Coz the only time I ever see someone pull off purple n leather was on ur mums onlyfans
Don't see many rhyming transitions that actually connect to the following bar on here so props for that. Bar was pretty joke too haha
I understand your family’s fucked u up tho u need support that’s facts
When u lost your virginity to big daddy n u actually grew up calling him that
Decent closer. Good drop Slay

Vs

HoneySuckle fits you Slay, cus you're a flower and you're sweet
Nice approach, seems a shame you limited this to one line it's a good idea you could have really built from. Nice opening line though and the subsequent rhyming was smooth too, just missing a bit of wordplay or unexpected twist to bring it all together
devoured when we meet, watch you cower in you're sheets
for now and for a week. they got us flowing as some chicks
but ur a clover when ur picked, i'll leave you folded on a fence
i'll leave you folded on a fence is a specific and unusual threat, rated
knowing that i'm sick! he's only shining when i'm clicking the sticks...
… camping out with his girl while she's pitching my tent
Closer was ok, only shining/clicking the sticks links to the camping theme, I think you could've got a bit extra impact with some wordplay at the end of the 1-2, maybe if his girl had clicked with this-dick or something.

Slayerr. was on good form this week, restecp.
Mal got a cool as fuck style, not the typical "here's the set up then here's the punch", feels more loose, almost experimental. Hard to win battles with it because the standard set up - punch format is such an integral part of forming hard-landing punches. More of a death-by-1000-cuts vibe. I think if you merged the two you'd have something fire.

Vote Slayerrrrrr.