Mr.Pfeiffer

(verse1)
This is the next cypher, by Mr.Pfeiffer,
no i aint talking about mehlki phifer,
coming to knife her,
put her burial,
in the sky making it aerial,
killin my enemies,
but first bringin them to their knees,
and stab their eyes with keys,
while there screaming dont kill me please!
leave her in his front yard,
holding a tarrot card,
saying shes gunna die,
so dont even try,
oh my,
i just spotted my next victim,
its a him,
i think his tag says jim,
oh well its night time so the lighting is kinda dim,
i walk by, and nod a friendly hi,
but he doesnt know hes about to die,
he walks into his car,
its not that far,
from where im standing,
but in the meantime i am planning,
i decide to follow him home,
i hide in his bushes like a gnome,
then when he enters finally,
he turns the light on so i can see,
he does the same and tries to flee,
where are yo going i say,
dont try and disobey,
or else im going to have to stay,
your going to have to come into your house sometime,
hopefully the cops dont show because this is a crime,
if they do i hope bail is only a dime,
cuz im broke, f
rom spending it all on coke,
no this aint a joke,
i aint gunna okie doke,
or prevoke you from hurting me,
cant u see,
im going to kill u first,
cuz i got a blood thirst,
and i want blood to make me submerst,
into it,
but its going to take a lot of blood work kits,
my car is all i have so i hope it fits.

(chorus)
you better be afraid of me,
even tho i aint a G,
my mind is so sick,
you woulda thought i wrote a horror flick,
even tho i gotta huge dick,
ur girl aint gunna kick,
cuz shes dead, with no head
cuz ima killer,
i fill her,
no i aint talking about ben stiller,
this sounds like a thriller,
maybe this, is!
this killing spree, sounds to good to be

Up up up

ok so you must be mr. pfeiffer then huh? and he's a killer. whom is this person you were killing and why? i think you could've delivered a better story here. you left a few holes open and those questions i asked were pretty much the open holes. you gotta give some details to keep the reader interested, to continue to read more and see where the story is going and whats the true meaning and how it ends and shit...not bad though not downing you, just giving you some constructive crit...take it as that or don't but i think you did alright. just work on your story delivery.
2/5

eh wasn't feeling it could have been better.. it just seemed a lil weird but stay up and keep posting

I liked the way it was put together

you better be afraid of me,
even tho i aint a G - perfect Rime

if they do i hope bail is only a dime,
cuz im broke, f
rom spending it all on coke,
no this aint a joke,
i aint gunna okie doke,

I like the way that part flowed..

Keep Getting Up !