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Sacred Scriptures Season Championship Match
You know the rules gentleman... Hopefully this is a match worth my money (which I know it will be). Rules/Topic are exactly the same as the Final Four round - both of you are taking home some type of prize.. So afterwards, send me your contacts/paypals (make one if you don't have one) in order to claim your cash money. Note that it'll probably take up to 3 weeks to get your money, but you WILL get it.
Keep it dope... drop some heat!
Hey soulstice, let's no show and follow the gauntlet shwag!
Nah, goodluck man.
Best of luck indeed check
Carnivŕle
http://i54.tinypic.com/2zyjt53.jpg
Welcome to the widows of night, shining lights
spherical spectre magic, skin shows- such delights
each curtain a robe waiting to fall; an unopened bow
tinsel pixies tying cupid, rape fantasies bought and sold
remember to buy your ticket lad; and quit gawping
tell your friends of us, tell them that you saw things
the muscular man; the tiger blooded warlock’s dance
the ménage a trois and the audience’s salivating glance
Welcome all to the Carnival; the place of no measure
sure it’s trash son; but the clouds silver lined with some treasure.
She was an angel winged strippergram
crimson tinged lips birthing kisses for tips
and her hips swayed- matahari
she didn’t care for words;
foreign tounges for the Whore of Babylon.
Her tales were of men chasing tail; men flailing then failing
slipping heads over heel over some whore waiting to escape them
she shimmied to gold faced corpses; no necrophiliac
just a flesh selling zombie; no emotions when she sells her act
some like wet beaks others into cunnilingus
telling the wife tales of fish & chips because the sin kinda lingers.
Yet they sat there watching her every move, and each sway & groove
and as she got them into the mood; the purses wept coin to approve
I ushered well serviced folk towards another tent; another show
after a harlot’s blow they longed to wash away the scarlet that showed
so I took them to the jokers, the clowns
the happy face glossed to remove another’s frowns.
I stand at a window waiting
as each guest passes by, not mine
then when I see them come, I sigh.
Remove my face to hide my pride
Watch me slip, literally, into character
and laugh at my oddly happy lie.
I lie with ease, Loki a bastard afterthought.
Banana peel crash test dummy; sucking thumb mummy telling lies
Egyptian mascara eyes and lips puckered kissing ass on the sly;
sure they weren’t as obvious as some; rounded hips kept bits numb
colourful bumps glossed over the bruised lumps of yesterday's 'fun'
the fat troll wasn’t gonna seduce out the toll so he conjured his best
may have not been hip swaying sex but the odd slip & a horn passed the test
unicycle oil spill, BP waiting with baited breath, shocked as he leapt
the audience laughed in his debt, kept clapping as he left;
then the kids got bored, they weren’t allowed ‘hoes’ but wanted to go
I got them some action...of a different kind I suppose.
Each limb stretched thin; he longs for battle
yet cattle to a missing rancher;
he chews for idle pen pushers
carrying a burden of trickery
they leave unimpressed
Atlas can’t shrug.
Tendon tussles and his melon fit to burst
no melons just lemons that sat and cursed;
unimpressed by strength, saying things he couldn’t ignore
“Yeah you’re strong but I bet my Dad could lift more”
faltered by anger, and they laughed at the oaf
reaching the goal, spat and left him on his own- old
kind of cold in a tunic; he wasn’t 20 anymore
and each show meant he lifted less than before
the sad life of an aging hero; snorting God up his nose
the holy spirit deep within him left his mind numb and closed
I left the sad mess there; I’d need to find a replacement
for your entertainment, sincerely Hollywood and all in my enslavement.
He watched them leave, knowing they would come again
and bring their friends, to watch the wonders within
he held them close; square eyes glues to the screen
projecting them ideals they couldn’t ever believe in
but enough to enter when they’re dreaming
corrupting one at a time; he chuckled at the ease
well oiled machine, heaven above and Eve at his knees.
The Reapers
This light; it's the only thing that keeps him breathing
On a boat getting thrashed by the deep blue Demons
They eat through seamen - foot-long katana pearly whites
Eyes filled with sin; as the bitter wind tangles the whirling night
The burning light that he uses to turn and fight the leviathans
They're necks entwining, he'll only survive by divinest whim
This Hydra-thing takes every blow; the dragon persists
And it's tail whips back and forth and it rattles the ship
Blackening fists, wracking his grip; the writhing wreath of neck
That towers over; scented with the sour meat of death
He keeps his chest sturdy in the wake of crewmates rogue limbs
Battling monsters with the light; against the blue grave his souls in
It's a crude fate, we're old kids fighting to rhyme and reason
In the night we define the treason in a dreamscape
for our dream's sake we strive for ceilings..
Our tiny light, our burning ship in the ink black sea of monsters
Fighting for air, against a world we just need to conquer
The sable robes, the hooded guises - crimson red, crooked eyelids
Blackened features, bastard creatures, the living dead, they look in silence
Or reverence for the eminence permeating evilly, strongly
The herd's breathing is haunted, by ghosts of the past
The reapers shepherd them forth - showing the flow of the path
A pale symposium grasped by the clutches of grim shadows
Moving to the drum of the reapers; like bunches of sick cattle
Their fists rattle as they wave them to a field of desolate graves
The pale horde can't recall memories or remember their names
Only feel a center of pain - ushered forth like goats entering barns
These poor folk.. alive.. but dead in the heart
But not him! No he's escaped the treacherous ocean waves
And progresses along the road he paves, slowly escaping
A closing grave - on the island where he pursues a treasure
Armed with his light; a might that only few can measure
Truly weathered; slip and be left for dead in seconds
Using his light; he equips his second weapon..
..A deadly blessing; he draws a pad and parchment
For which he exchanged his classic armor
As he leaves the shore and enters the island's forest
He meets the wrath of archers! A suprising chorus of violent forces
He battles harder, than ever, despite a forever of fighting
Trying to fulfill a dream that must be measured in lightning!
Quick hot flashes in long battles, he wars with the enemy
Fighting with his light and his pen; supporting his destiny
The reapers watch and laugh as the hobbled cast proceeds
Afraid and unalive, shells of flesh with a lack of dreams
Tragic schemes of fates fallen short, afraid to leap
That sweat in the killing fields, under the blazing heat
But he is not afraid to chase what is his, what is calling his name
He fights through the soldiers, although he is crawling with pain
Impossible strains, as he fights through the wooded paths
Out of breath - hearing sounds of stress in each crooked gasp
But look, at last, he has reached his mountain peak
And he is validated by the knee-jerk sound he speaks..
"Finally" - He begins climbing and climbing
His hope's silently rising - his heart is beating what fate is designing
The reapers twitch and instantly, all eight turn eastward
A visible rage, shown by their shaking features
The angry creatures fly off, sensing something painful to see
Some rebel living his life, and chasing his dreams
He's reached the top of the mountain, his passion rewarded
Creativity forging against the violent path he was touring
He feels he's actually soaring, through the cloudless skies
Nothing but sun until he collides with a shrouded guise
He feels under the gun - his drowning cries grow weaker
His spirit fleeting, caught in the undertow of the reapers
he can hear them whisper...
Embrace the scythe - relax and leave this painful life
Escape the strife and fade to night - let the reapers take you
Even the grateful types need not even speak a thank you
After all, Destiny calls, lie down beneath the hopeless sky
Let your open mind heal, seal, and relax your broken spine
Close your eyes and hear the gentle crackle of your last gasp
And sport a smile while your soul shatters to a laugh track
.
.
.
.
He sees the reasons to fail - a haggard man strapped for cash
Beggin for change from the regular slaves in plastic masks
He sees his parents shaking their heads, a woman laughing and leaving
He hears an audience cackle.. he feels lumps trapped in his breathing
.
.
...no.
.
.
.
He draws his light, his way of knowing this is what's right
A blazing beacon that acts like a gun in the night
Like a motherly sprite, it guides him to his quill and paper
As he pens words, excerpts return the thrill he savors
He grips his saber, a blade constituted of art and passion
A martyr acting against the eight Necropolis kings
Reaching for his third weapon, unleashing whats bottled within
He draws his final weapon...
...unaware of what it could be
Until Now!
He takes a peek through the looking glass
and sees all of earth's population looking back
Everything he's ever done, is under the scrutiny
As he trips and bumbles and stumbles beautifully
Through poems of mistakes and paintings of failings
He feels a heart beating, that aches for prevailing
He knows now - billions of eyes couldn't possibly matter
As the wind whips and kicks up, like God calling for rapture
The Reapers are ripped away into the bluest sky
As he finally begins chasing his dream.. truly alive
Thanks for the read fellas.
There are so many good things about each verse that I couldn't possibly break them both down fully, so I will just give an overview and pick out some especially enjoyable parts.
Baron P. Mortuus - As I read, my vision of a late night at a traveling carnival grew more vivid. Some concepts and wording were refreshingly original while others were something I almost expected to read.
Banana peel crash test dummy; sucking thumb mummy telling lies
Egyptian mascara eyes and lips puckered kissing ass on the sly;
^^^ I thought this was slick and the metaphors and imagery was worth mentioning.
I ushered well serviced folk towards another tent; another show
after a harlot’s blow they longed to wash away the scarlet that showed
so I took them to the jokers, the clowns
the happy face glossed to remove another’s frowns.
^^^ I liked this part too, made the story more unique and gave it character.
Soulstice - You wrote in a voice and a land that I enjoy very much. I love tales about the ocean and its raw power and the battle of man vs. the elements romanticized with monsters and foes. You used some multis to keep the flow rolling. The rhyming words weren't that complex or reaching into the depth of your vocabulary, but the wording was fluid throughout.
He battles harder, than ever, despite a forever of fighting
Trying to fulfill a dream that must be measured in lightning!
^^^ I thought this was a cool concept. One of my favorite lines of the piece.
It's difficult for me to pick out specific lines of the piece that I enjoyed most. What really turned me on to this was the epic journey in as short as you could have done something like this.
Both closing parts didn't have any twists. They just summed up the idea and ended the pieces solidly. I think if either one of them would have blown our minds at the end, it would have been a deal breaker for the other person since they were both skillfully written.
Alright, here goes my vote.
Overall I think that Baron had some really good vocabulary and metaphors that topped a lot of what Soulstice brought and Soulstice had a slightly better setting and did much without straying too far from the usual vocabulary we're used to seeing. Baron had some of the best lines and concepts of these two, but Soulstice brought the better overall picture. Baron had the more original and fresh concept which I really want to give him credit for. Ah, luckily, I'm sure both of you have day jobs, so it relieves some stress on if my vote happens to decide who gets the prize...
Vote = Soulstice
ok, lets get it.
This is a very good champ match, btw.
Mortuus - I knew u were gonna come through with something creative but...this was that and more. I guess the one thing about ur writing that i would consider lacking is that pesky area of flow and rhyming. This verse definitely showed how much you've improved in that area. So i guess on the surface, this verse was another circus sideshow freak kind of verse. But i felt the underlying theme at play here is our attitude towards things that we hold interest in. What i get from this verse is an examination on our dedication/attraction to "conflict". We can take this to any medium and see that its usually the shocking and dramatic that holds us entranced most. And the funny thing is that we tend to feel like we're above all these things, lol. Great verse Baron.
Soulstice - Soul this verse was epic. I'm a huge fan of fantasy flicks and this verse brought back all kind of classic scenes. From reel to real, i cant help but felt that the story itself was a kind of metaphor for your run in the league. From the reference to the number 8 (eight finalist??) to that ending where one would imagine a kind of victorious relief from the responsibility of the league and finally getting back to ones own "real" life, lol. OR i maybe looking to deep into it. Mechanically speaking, as usual, ur writing is on point. Imagery were nice also. You know, i don't see any weak point in this verse.
This is a tough one to choose. Baron, social commetary laced piece was quite a joy to read and soul's epic story...with just the right touch of personal dilemma was not to be fucked with either. I can either do the old coin flip or i can close my eye and concentrate on which piece was most MEMORABLE. After much thought, and...despite valiant effort from Baron P. Mortuus, i have to give my vote to Soulstice in one of the better champ match i've read in awhile. Well done guys. the final score was 98.5 vs 98.6.
jesus at how epic this battle was. baron surprised me. I'm gonna for sure edit a vote in tonight.
A pale symposium grasped by the clutches of grim shadows
Moving to the drum of the reapers; like bunches of sick cattle
Their fists rattle as they wave them to a field of desolate graves
The pale horde can't recall memories or remember their names
Only feel a center of pain - ushered forth like goats entering barns
These poor folk.. alive.. but dead in the heart
^^^DAMN
Lines like these.. they were fire. I had to point this shit out before I even began voting. This whole verse was insane to me. I don't recall reading a Soulstice verse quite this smoothe before. Feels like you put some time into this, and some well deserved time nontheless. This piece was nothing short of fantastic. I enjoyed it. A LOT. Dunno, could be the mood I'm in but I didn't hit one blip in this shit. Nothing I didn't enjoy other than the last line of ONE stanza - which was the "shatter to a laugh track".. not sure I'm vibing with that particular line just because it doesn't make as much sense to me I guess? maybe I missed something there.. but the rest was ill as fuck. I was not dissappointed. Thoroughly impressed by the effort it took to put forth a monster like this.. and I sincerely have no negatives.. One of those drops I'll probably come back to just to read again. Seriously.
Baron.. same with you.. the concept was interesting to me -
faltered by anger, and they laughed at the oaf
reaching the goal, spat and left him on his own- old
kind of cold in a tunic; he wasn’t 20 anymore
and each show meant he lifted less than before
the sad life of an aging hero; snorting God up his nose
the holy spirit deep within him left his mind numb and closed
^^Probably my favorite part in your drop. Especially those last two lines.. really easy to vibe with.
Overall - as technicalities go - I think you were a bit behind Soulstice on your rhyming and schemes. He was just a lot more organized - while yours felt like they switched up every stanza. I still enjoyed your drop more than most this entire season, and it was entertaining. But there were qualities in your piece that just didn't live up to the standard that Soulstice set with his. Conceptually, as I said... great shit there. I enjoyed the Carnival theme set there... the picture was put to good use, too. Didn't feel out of place like most tend to. The idea of how outsiders see the world type deal was pretty slick... well executed. No major complaints, man.
Both of you did exceptional... I wish I could crown you both cjhamp, but I can't... that being said, I think there was one of you (as you can tell from my feedback) that caught my eye and made me enjoy your piece that much more than the other.. nothing against the other guy, but DAMN.. what a drop. That said...
vote Soulstice... in a well worth reading championship final.
I expected a great battle... but this is more than that. Both brought some dope shit here, no doubt. This is easily the closest and most epic battle i've read on this forum so far, good work to the both of you.
Baron - I think he worked well with this topic... you made it quite interesting in fact. Flow and vocab was definitely something i was impressed with. Your ideas and themes were cool and i found most of it interesting. Overall it's a very original concept and topic to work with and I'd figure it would be hard for an average person to execute but you executed it so well it seemed like a played concept because you just had so much to say about it if you know what i mean.
Soul - Damn, I definitely enjoyed your piece man, you worked well with your topic as well and concepts were superb, some parts got me thinking (in a good way). You also had a dope storyline going on and i enjoyed reading that and probably a part that i enjoyed a lot about your piece. As for flow and vocab you did exceptionally well there and theres definitely no critique from me in those categories. All in all you did very well getting your ideas and themes across through your lines and story.
Wow... I had to read both verses twice, to be honest my decision is still unclear but I'm going to give the vote to who I thought was better after my second time reading both. I started picking out sections/parts of each verse that i was very impressed with but it made the whole decision even harder... but ultimately if i had to make a decision i'll go with Baron P for the originality as well as the way he executed his ideas and concepts.
OK, we should be closing this tomorrow (Monday) night at MIDNIGHT EASTERN, NOT PACIFIC! Please vote people, including myself. Thank you all for your participation.
Ive tried to vote on this a couple of times... In all honesty it comes down to a couple of things for me..
Baron, really fuckin brought me there you know, the sights the sounds the people the feelings, just a shit ton of imagery, vocab and descriptiveness that i felt was slightly better than Souls drop.
Soul on ther other hand handly took the flow catagory, skemes and rhymic qualities in his verse, Just non stop dope sauce.
I felt that barons overall creativity was better as well, you know who comes up with lines like this
Banana peel crash test dummy; sucking thumb mummy telling lies
Egyptian mascara eyes and lips puckered kissing ass on the sly;
sure they weren’t as obvious as some; rounded hips kept bits numb
colourful bumps glossed over the bruised lumps of yesterday's 'fun'
I felt that the overall creative ideas of the piece were similar in value but line for line Baron took that catagory..
so do i give the vote to Baron for slightly edging out 2 catagories or give it to Soul for dominating 1.
Im going to call this a tie, I tried voting on this a couple of times and I couldn't do it. I am here now because I feel like i should vote towards a very very dope SS final. Both of you writers deserve the money in my book, you guys did a terrific job no doubt
And sorry if my vote pisses anyone off, I couldn't decide.
pz and mad respect