My precious

Colors corrosponding with mood,
I call this one Evening Sky.

Blood boils red with rage,
at even the slightest of glances
towards her refuge.

Eyes mounted upon
the reverse side of her skull,
Waiting.

Dare I.

My frail attempts
at a relationship,
prove fatal.

Her chest puffs,
like a blown balloon.
Nothing new to see here.

Stationary, she feels
most safe at her highest point.
Drugged.

Go to sleep bitch.
No food for you tonight.


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...333/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...442/index.html

Stationary, she feels
most safe at her highest point.
Drugged.

Go to sleep bitch.
No food for you tonight.

liked these lines....they gave the poem some type of grit in my opinion....can't explain it really. It made it work for me more as a kinda "junky love poem"...or at least thats the look I think you were going for?.

good read and oh yeah....keep posting Chuck....I might not give you a 5 star feed every post but I feel your work as a whole does have substance.

out.

thanks mang, i dont really like forcing myself to write the way rapbattles wants me to hahaha.. im just trying out different shit. got alot of uneasy circumstances going on right now which help with inspiring me to write at least. i should have more coming.

and word about junky love poem haha the whole piece was supposed to be somewhat of a metaphor.. my mean ass pet chameleon/junky love poem lmao