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Slain
Slain
I've dreamed of this night
For many a year, pondering
Playing out this wicked bout
a chessboxing match
between a man i deeply respect
But my time is now
The story began here...
I stared into his eyes, he glared, so solemn
I remember the iris, speaking in a tone
humorous yet solemn
some great enigma
His voice just as mysterious
As that sly, chilled expression
Trembled softly
Yet quaked the stone walls
of this my place of teaching
In my time i learned the inner workings
Of my mentors masterpieces
Felt as he felt and saw as he saw
And i saw...
Golden skies
complimented by platinum bordered clouds
The beauty of fear, And the hideousness of courage
A world rotating on a horizontal axis
A miniature discus in the sea of Olympia
Our heavenly demise
AN eyeless God
laying motionless on a dying comet.
I was altered...
My mentor had touched the bases of my mind
and infected my heart with a doubt
That led to an ultimate knowledge
I praised him...
Why not? He has tought me all that he know
Every secret of this universe
The hilarity of a divine comedy
The irony of a sacrament
How hate and love
are one in the same
Everything, every written word
every sly smile
The chuckle at a turn of phrase
I OWE
to him
My debt was too great to pay
It haunted me
My conscience, an omnipresent poltergeist
Possessing me to remember always
The hours prior to enlightenment
It ripped at me
Tore reality asunder
The black hole in my life
Sucked in my reasoning
Then it all occurred...
On the anniversary of my mentors greatest teachings
I took up blade against him
and a fierce battle did commence
A war i won, unfairly so
I blinded him with my cunning
He lay in bed
eyes shut when i took his life
The true battle was my conscience
against myself
Blood lay thick on my palms
A legend of the times SLAIN
Baffled by my ignorance
I thrust the sword of guilt
into my worthless gut
The wound deep, remains until this day
The rain burns it,
salty tears from disappointed archangels
The debt i couldn't repay got the best of me
I hear them sing
before they bring the sun to blind me
And i stumble about the beaten path
Lonesome and afraid
Because of that night...
The night Baron P. Mortuus lay Slain
http://th07.deviantart.net/fs40/300W...rebellyell.jpg
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Re: Slain
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Re: Slain
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Re: Slain
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Re: Slain
This was a deep drop, I loved the creativity you put into this,
imagery was crazy. I fully understood ever part you was pointing
out and enjoyed each part..Real good diea to do something like this.
.Props....Overall Nice drop and keep it up, although poems get
slep on i will be sure to keep peeping yours. Keep it up....
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Re: Slain
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Re: Slain
I did enjoy this read....
The sentence structure and language used was consistent and worked well for the poem. You personified a lot of things, which is normal for you, but you did it a way that really struck the reader... like somehow the abstract image made sense.
The topic itself was interesting and perfect for the drop. I loved how this poem kind of went in and out of deep trances of imagery... I cant explain it but it just worked. Its you pondered a concept of the story and then stopped pondering to move forward in the narrative. Whatever it was, I liked it.
The only issue I see is making 'SLAIN' in all caps and the lack of punctuation. But it didnt take from the piece so it didnt bug me.
Good writing from you truth
