A Blowjob from a midget !
i just felt like showing ya some stuff i write when i'm bored...
i didnt work on grammar/punctuation/spelling..i just rough drafted but you catch my drift :)
hope ya enjoy
The marvels of this world!!! From the Hanging Gardens in Babylon, to the Stonehenge in England, all the way to the pyramids of Giza that gazes upon us. They have always been a mystery to mankind. But there has been one mystery that has been troubling me the most and that’s a blowjob from a midget. Yes, you have heard correct a midget’s blowjob, a dwarf, an elf, a stump, or whatever you like to call them. So to get an answer to this experiment, I’ve been planning and constructing a method that is a 100% guaranteed to work if used correctly.
The most challenging part would be actually finding a midget. I cannot be much help here but search engines like Yahoo and Google have midget communities that gather like Keebler elves and chitter chatter about their boring lives.
So you have now found one. You are now engaging a conversation with one. They will be very easy to communicate with because they can’t get pass the fact a “big person” is talking to them. I’m guessing the best place to take them on a date would be a bar(but somewhere far about fifty miles away from your house so no pictures wander around of you and a midget later on in life). Because of their body weight you won’t need to break bank. All you would need is one shot of the nasty house tequila and that will run you about a one to three dollar tab. After this has occurred the so called “larger than life” midget will tell you she is feeling quite tipsy. This is when you approach her with a formal invitation to your place.
Of course she will say yes. SHE IS A MIDGET!!!!! Don’t tell me they set their standard bars high because to me that is scientifically incorrect. Even if they did set their standards “high” it would not reach my pelvic.
So here’s the key point of the night, getting the blowjob as soon as you reach your place. You stand in soldier form, straight up as the midget looks up to you. You are prepared to hit her with the most crucial line of the night. This is the point of no return, for you’re a determined man and you get what you want. So you man up and in a Gladiator chant you tell her “GET ON YOUR KNEES AND GIVE ME HEAD”! If you’re not bright (some friends are not) this line will trigger the midget in two forms 1) She will take it as a compliment for you are the first to treat her as a normal sized girl or 2) She will be emotionally tortured because only normal-sized females can level out to your man hood if they are placed on their knees. But either way she will perform because no man has ever done this, for you are a man with courage and you are a man who has surpassed his fear factor.
Most likely she will react with number 2. So be prepared as she puckers on your lower shaft. She will be a Tearjerker. You don’t know what a tearjerker is go to your local candy shop and grab one (shoplift it for all I care it is only one).
Now that you’ve completed your task you can kick her out. For no hard feelings try to belittle her in a nice manner (no pun intended). You can now call all your friends and brag about what has happened. You have now gotten a blowjob from a midget which in my book is a bigger accomplishment than sleeping with the pastor’s wife or banging a stripper’s sister.
TA TA
(And to my gorgeous ladies I’m sorry if I excluded you and I just targeted my male audience but let’s face it. You are females and you can get pounded away until you physically crawl out my room like a worm anytime you want!! ;)
Thank you…for reading
Re: A Blowjob from a midget !
Re: A Blowjob from a midget !
it was pretty funny overall..pretty odd topic but it kept me interested...you've now just created a midget fantasy for me yay....anyways good use of vocabulary it was a very humorous read pretty good to me..this story seperates u from the others in this section lol for obvious reasons
I’m guessing the best place to take them on a date would be a bar(but somewhere far about fifty miles away from your house so no pictures wander around of you and a midget later on in life). Because of their body weight you won’t need to break bank. All you would need is one shot of the nasty house tequila and that will run you about a one to three dollar tab.
that shit made me lol
good shit
Re: A Blowjob from a midget !
this was funny man hilarious topic cool enough to keep me reading the whole thing cool man there was some funny shit in there nice
Re: A Blowjob from a midget !
Jesus, allmighty. Okay, I read this last night and seriously was gasping from the laughter that had come over me. This wasn't really a short story, but was more of a "rant", but the way you had it was very comical. Through the humor and the content, it left nothing "Short" but a smile on my face. This piece defenetly is unique, for noone here would write something like this, and that makes it stand out. The title alone is by far eye catching and the topic/vocabulary is good as well.
Quote:
So you man up and in a Gladiator chant you tell her “GET ON YOUR KNEES AND GIVE ME HEAD”! If you’re not bright (some friends are not) this line will trigger the midget in two forms 1) She will take it as a compliment for you are the first to treat her as a normal sized girl or 2) She will be emotionally tortured because only normal-sized females can level out to your man hood if they are placed on their knees. But either way she will perform because no man has ever done this, for you are a man with courage and you are a man who has surpassed his fear factor.
LMAO!
Re: A Blowjob from a midget !
How do I vote this in legendary?
Re: A Blowjob from a midget !
Omg!
I am in fuckin tears right now!
@El Chapo
