Close to Nature

Far From Home

The trees in summer
fall to trap me
the lake is cold, I enter gladly
when the fog falls,
the friends are sparse
those crickets,
they jump in arcs.

All the pictures
run together,
while two green birds
moult their feathers
I was twenty,
the sparks yelled warmly
I closed the net with mosquitoes swarming

The dark is big,
you're in the water,
like a lamb, going to the slaughter
But the insect lines,
are moving cars.
The sirens, cause the dogs to bark.
We slept together,
you were not ready,
I drank a beer. My breath was heavy.

In the morning,
after the night,
I fell in love with the light.

You might not understand
the panorama, the peace
you cannot thwart it. Two birds singing.

Maps are always, always always always
of past civilizations. They can never be relevant.
You draw a map, draw a new one two seconds later.
The land always evolves. I drew a map, tucked it
in your bag, you pulled it out while looking for toilet paper
it seemed old. You took it close to your heart. You said,
"Look at this." I look as the marks moved.
I let you go and left for home. How could you come back?
__________________

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-363734.html

Shit, I didn't read the rules. Either close this and open it back up once IE is over or just let me keep it open, cuz I'm up 3-0 anyhow. Sorry mods.

upwa

Nice piece, a little poetic. . . just playin' very poetic. You had somewhat of a rhymescheme going on, it was weird. But, I did like it, and it added depth to your verse. Damn, I couldn't really do much more feed than this, other than its good and keep writing. And, we need to get on a collab.

check out my piece if you have time.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...re-363936.html

dope piece here dude. The flow was my favorite, it was like the blend between topical and poetry. Really cool. The emotion was pretty edgy, could have been more deep if the story was different, but you did as much as you could with it here. The imagery was amazing, very vivid and painted scenery in my head. Nice shit bro. Wording was cool. And it just came off as a flawless verse for me. Keep writing.

I peeped it in IE but I'll say the same things stuck out to me....
the imagery was real good...it gave me the image of like a warm spring day or something....or of nature you know.
Being outside and listening to the birds chirp
this differs from alot of your other writing and I liked that.
It was fun watch you do something a lil' different than your normal style.

Peace and stay up Mach.