The Guide To A Perfect Existence

(Amateur Agnostics Anonymous
Hello. My names is Mankind and I question the time before me. I question the years to come. I wonder about the miles behind me, and ponder the miles after. Is what above reality, and is what lies beneath really a lie? Answer me!)

Another soul heads to the big bank, loans spent on atonement
The same one questioned when he took his heart as the lone friend
As a partner through the harder parts of the implosion
(It's all caving in) Grab your head, grab your dreams and decode them
Pull the ego over your eyes before the night goes red
Why'd we do that That's what the modern blondie pope said
Then I respect it Don't inspect this, it's hopeless
Join the slaves, erode from the injections of perfection
The opiates relative - it lessens your sense of direction
And lets us detect that death wish found in your presence
It's so fucking perplexing, gods among men living in fear
Attrition's the nightlight, but faith exists in the tears
Reality tricks you to feel
the cages - the bars. We're all prisoners here!
So thrust the key in your heart and turn convincingly
Make it the epitome of litany, not the derivative; fear!
So tell em what you dreamt of, what you listen to hear.
"I had dreams, paths were in them, these visions are weird
Toward the ocean, A Silver Sea, pretty queer
Before a baby blue limo with guns began eclipsing the pier"
(Speak it brother...) *applause* (Damn...) *a pause*
The source of repent, of course the Penitentiary
Souls with calender walls, saying what "the tallies meant to me"
No unsentenced denizens say this is cleansing, a baptism in Nazareth
From the Nebuchadnezzar slash passive acting advocate
Only gasping lips from the ones they filled their flask with shit!
Begun grasping this? Nah, you can't detach from bliss
Until your on the death bed and I ask for it!!
(Yo he just met the casket) and those around him?
(Are they hearing impaired, I don't think they could hear his despair
What's his name, let me send his parent's flowers)
Haha.. in reality they've been aware for hours he has many names
Mr. Deranged, Mrs. Lost, Ms. Addiction.
Sir Crippled. Lady Little. you get the jist of it. (It's riveting)
(I've listened, but listen to me) I respect the imperfection
I respect the good intent of retention as I inspect this dimension
Drop the possessions... and I'll feel each missed step
And after you live life, perhaps I can let you live death

Interesting piece here Soul...When it started off, I liked the flow of it and how the words hit precise and perfectly. But as it got on..I dont know if it was the piece, or just me being tired right now..But it got hard to understand. Even when you wrapped it up, I was still wondering what you were talking about,lol..But other than that, I thought this was a good piece. Sorry bout not understanding it though, I might come back later and read it again when there's nothing to distract me.

rtf please: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...at-347472.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ke-347429.html

thanks maybe your interpretation is my fault, but its god talking to a random person from the planet, and about how he questions the existence of god because of all the glamour and agony that eclipse faith... and how he will let him enter heaven if he accepts that... u could read it again with that idea in mind.. up 2 u.. thanks though

Ok before I read this i was like yes another Drop from an Abstani member.
The title to this was so fucking catching.
I'm bad at making OM titles but this was very nicely layed out and went directly to what your OM is.
So now on to your OM.

Ok this wa a very nice OM one of he best ive read from you in a while. The first thing I noticed was the deepness in tone and parantheses showing really deep stuff. This was very original and it was well put.
The beginginng really caught my eyesas the flow and the rhyme sheme was very unique and on point. The emotion came off very strong and the potraying that i see in your verse was very creative and strogn the Imagery was such a bombing sensation because you came off with thoughts that can show a great senery if you know what I mean.

Quote:

---

Another soul heads to the big bank, loans spent on atonement
The same one questioned when he took his heart as the lone friend
As a partner through the harder parts of the implosion
(It's all caving in) Grab your head, grab your dreams and decode them

---

^ aswesome start right there and came off goo.d the flow was very smooth and the imagery was a sucesss

Ok the middle part I really do felt like it staggered just a lil bit but then yuo came back up with some ferocious emotional lines. The rhyme sheme and the flow was very good again bu the flow was a lil wavered to tell the truth. Overall the middle part was nice. the emotional standpoint in this part was the well thought out part. The imagery came strong again as well but fell off pretty much at the last quoteable... here are some nice quoatables

Quote:

---

Make it the epitome of litany, not the derivative; fear!
So tell em what you dreamt of, what you listen to hear.
"I had dreams, paths were in them, these visions are weird
Toward the ocean, A Silver Sea, pretty queer
Before a baby blue limo with guns began eclipsing the pier"
(Speak it brother...) *applause* (Damn...) *a pause*
The source of repent, of course the Penitentiary
Souls with calender walls, saying what "the tallies meant to me"

---

The last bari didn't like though I quoted it so you would see.
I felt it came out really droned out or boring that last line...
sorry

the ending was a spectacular finish. Both the flow and th rhyme sheme came to almost perfection and it was a nice ride of multis and smoothly flowing rhymes.
The imagery and emotion benifited from such strong usage of flwo and even the vecab was pretty imressive. The emotion was at its high peak at this end of the verse. Really had me reading it over again. The imagery was nice too.
Some quoatebles.

Quote:

---

(Are they hearing impaired, I don't think they could hear his despair
What's his name, let me send his parent's flowers)
Haha.. in reality they've been aware for hours he has many names
Mr. Deranged, Mrs. Lost, Ms. Addiction.
Sir Crippled. Lady Little. you get the jist of it. (It's riveting)
(I've listened, but listen to me) I respect the imperfection
I respect the good intent of retention as I inspect this dimension
Drop the possessions... and I'll feel each missed step
And after you live life, perhaps I can let you live death

---

This was so well put it was a really nice read.

So overall this was a ver nice peace soul and keep writing I might actaully nominate this.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ul-347106.html

thanks ^^

please

sorry i didn't get to this right away. i got real bussy with the front lines magazine and other shit so here it goes. I read through it, and it seems like you know what you're talking about in this. You have some knowledge of certain things and you fused them into this piece making it a representation of truth and what life should be. you've convinced me, but I doubt this piece will change the world lol, so you've only got RB to convince your area of expertise upon. You did well though, i liked the originality of the piece and the multies were great and made this for an easy read. I enjoyed it a lot. your style reminds me of me, how you like to throw that redundant sarcasm into some of your lines. but yeah, enjoyable read... thanks bro.




- Nash

wow i loved the rhyme scheme here in this one, the imagery i felt was very vivid and expressed visual's of each event inside my mind, the emotion was beautifully done i mean it felt very realistic yadigg, i mean you told a story here in a rhythm like format......the vocabulary was decent in some spot's and great in other's....my overall favorite are of your peice we'ew these line's

''the cages - the bars. We're all prisoners here!
So thrust the key in your heart and turn convincingly
Make it the epitome of litany, not the derivative; fear!
So tell em what you dreamt of, what you listen to hear.''

really neat piece here man.

many thanks doggz

I tried to Spam URLs. I am completely retarded. People like me should know better than to try and Troll these forums. I should be tared, feathered, and beaten with the moron stick. I am utterly incompetent.

[URL="http://Not bad, i like this, all in all this shit touches base in a lot of different areas in life. fave part of it all was..."Not bad, i like this, all in all this shit touches base in a lot of different areas in life. fave part of it all was...
"[B]Join the slaves, erode from the injections of perfection
The opiates relative - it lessens your sense of direction
And lets us detect that death wish found in your presence
It's so fucking perplexing, gods among men living in fear
Attrition's the nightlight, but faith exists in the tears
Reality tricks you to feel
the cages - the bars. We're all prisoners here

Keep up...............
.....................check this out.... Ca$$-LOC -russian roulette..........good look'n

thanks al ot dude!!!! =/

ahh rtf

give this a chance gaahtd'amm