The Last Breath I Take

The Last Breath I Take

A deprived mind, design aligned signs of whisper and death
Confines defied kinds of thought through my blistering flesh
A withering mess, defining the distraught of my quivering head
On shivering dread, A Path Of Broken Faith to my different quests
Eminent mess on stress procreates a demonic mind unblessed
In entwined lines of maligned heartbeats, ironic to my arrest
But to test hopeless debates of the mind we’re woven to create
Shouldn’t we know why these eyes that signify love and hate
My thumping machine pumping demise within my very veins
I tried to disguise my eyes from the strain, cannot bare the pain
My mentality is falling apart, I feel the breath of my life taken
Forsaken by The Corrupting Tongue, Death residing in Satan

*Cough* *Cough*
*Panting of Dying Lungs*

Sweat Drips in an eerie fashion
Death smiles in a sneering satisfaction
Sweat leaves my face in a rapid
Drops shattering my weary bastion
Writing my lament as I’m talking with dread…
Dancing a desert meadow & Walking With Death

I’m trembling uncontrollably, hoping this aching will vanish
Assembling on the souls of plea, in hallucinations of savage
Screams that fills my cranium, it seems to drill my insane asylum
Born an Episcopalian, but the thrill to kill deranged my silence
This arcane island of conception, derived and divided in sections
Alive its contentious, but segregated thoughts provide intervention
My lungs stop in question; I heave and breathe heavily on the fact
And as my beating fist of agonizing love speeds, ready to react
As the four chambers of my heart, crying out the pumping blood
As my beating paces, I feel a reply of tachycardia racing….
Backing far from hatred now, almost denying the thumping flood
Of a bloodbath, my thumping rock has nearly stopped with fatal crack
The four chambers once surrounded in gold, rots into a shade of black….

*Cough* *Cough*
*Disturbing Panting of Moribund Lungs*
*Slow, Loud Beating of a Shattered Heart*

My heart weeps blood from beyond its threshold
Seeks life from a dying breath, pondering best hope
He cant cope with the lesser folds of a terrible cold
Feeling in his throat, with an unbearable control
As Death allows him to put his knife to his neck and wrote
And slashed with Death before him with gleaming eyes
Thus the stain of pain cries, and the fatal screaming dies

As Life Was Eating My Prison, That Was The Last Breath I Take
Consumed By The Corrupting Tongue, And All my Hiding Hate
This Blinded Statement of Mines Arises Hatred Slaves of Meth
As This Was My Twist of Departure, I’m Walking Away With Death

http://i17.tinypic.com/5xexmxe.jpg

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-347406.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rk-347250.html

OMG upping shit..

this was weird

If you don't got anything good to say don't post.

You didn't have to post again lol

iight

i dont feel like typing a huge paragraph but the concept and the metaphorical input you used was pretty sweet. nice drop

haah this was excellent. it started out mad dope and really caught my attention with the metaphorica lapproach and the internal rhyme schemes. huge fan of that. the whole concept was pretty interesting. i like the injections of poetry into the whole piece, real nice. this is kind of the style im trying to hit with my return, maybe i got it, i dont even know, havent written in such a long time lol... anyway back to the piece./ the beggining of the piece (the 1st stanze) was probobly the best in my opinion, but it always seems like that because the ideas slowly dry up... not to say your not creative, trhis was a great piece, keep up the good work, and stay consistant... hit up my piece..

Didnt you drop this in a battle? I could've sworn I saw this from you already,lol. Anyways, Nice drop..Like always,lol...Your wording was good, as it hit in the right places and wasnt off..Your vocab was excellent as well. I also liked how you set it up and had everything layed out. Just an overall good job here Para.


rtf: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...at-347472.html

It is the same one West lol.
Upping please feed and I'll RTF i always do

rtf here Paramik:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...cs-347539.html

LMAO you didnt write anything :bored:

upping feedback and i got your back.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ip-347591.html
^hit that up please for som "rtf",lol..:love:

now reply and stuff and ill rtf