Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

Conceptions rummage my brain in centrifugal agony
Racking my head, thoughts entered usual savagery
Pondering beneath the apple tree with strenuous introversion
Aspersions coursing my mind in an ingenious diversion
Immersed with a cursed “goodbye”………and why…
……………………While these lies thirst for yearning replies
This dearth truths hurts and scavenges my burning eyes
The turning of the sky, baffles me upon observing the cry
I’m flirting with lies, I can’t decide or confide a deceit of flesh
Threats to devour me, as I reside in the concrete feet of Death
Excreting sea of sweat, critiquing debris of pitiful rupture
As Death taunts my head leaking out my Physical structure
Stuck conferring these inner wounds, I dread to heal
As I look upon the face of Eternal Sleep, I regret to appeal
This fate is horrifying, as he grabs my neck closes his…
Wrists upon my withering windpipe…..
…………………These lies inside biting causing my necrosis
As I feel this is hopeless the shadow of the grim speaks
As the hood figure shrieks, and his phantom limb creaks
And asks about the deception and deceit you treat...
Your wife while you seek…. but he breaches his Heat
Points to the face of death, but grim is laughing nonetheless
As he unloads all the rounds he unravels the cloak of death…
In a broken sweat, but realizes he shot his wife in the chest
As Death contorts with laugher, and tell him to come home
As he puts his finger to his head and sphacelates his dome
Failing faith of this man, whom degrades in under the tree
As the thunder rips asunder one wonders what could be…
As the scream he had heard was of a foreboding banshee.
While necroses he thinks that withered eyes meet the vibe
In this deathly ride brings forth Hidden Lies That Eat You Alive

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...in-346472.html

WTF feedback plz.

i was really feelin this piece. you staye well to the topic and had some nice lines. you flow is sick and u got mad skills. fav lines:

"This dearth truths hurts and scavenges my burning eyes
The turning of the sky, baffles me upon observing the cry
I’m flirting with lies, I can’t decide or confide a deceit of flesh
Threats to devour me, as I reside in the concrete feet of Death
Excreting sea of sweat, critiquing debris of pitiful rupture
As Death taunts my head leaking out my Physical structure"

keep spiitin dat crack!

great rhyme-scheme and usage of words, real dope shit, the imagery was cool on the whole cloak of death thing. i think the first few bars were perfect, nice shit here. i really have no complaints.. i do think it'll get nominated, but i'm really picky so you probably wont get that from me unless my jaw drops while i read ya shit, nah mean.

anyways, thanks for feedin' my iced out chain letter piece, bye.

Thanks upping for more feed.

upping

Upping for some feed

word i really liked the first couple bars alot...the captivation was aight but your word usage is very dope. However i also seen spots where your internals were a little forced but it took nothin away from the overall piece. I agree your imagry was great through the entire piece. Your ending had me just as caught as the beginnning which is a very good thing. Overall you have a well written piece here and i appreciate the link

Closed.

Reopen!


Don't forget the link dude- Johnny 6-feet

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ue-346761.html

and upping then