America's Heart in Chains

America's Heart in Chains
By: Nash


wisdom bound, silver embedded 'round a cherry tree
a boy who cried wolf only to cry as the wolf was burying
fairy things, tales of grails and chain mails
to find our existence and "progress" is to blame males
a United States reign fails; to be indicted inside grain and sand
is also to realize the disguised foundation of our maiden lands

and we pray with hands that intend -
to bend the rules of whom they pray to
men fade while the women fill their wombs to pay dues
it's how we're made, too!

we're simply slain through pain and fear
for whores -
it's far from hard to make honest men weep disdain tears
as they creep near from house to house, you'll hear all lies
a cheat if I ever saw one, as she peers and with drawls eyes
down to a smaller size, America the beautiful, never honest
Abe died! it's a crazed life, marriage is a sly and clever promise
no more red riding hood fables, she's left a severed bonnet
and if the chest is ever upon it, our country will strive
to diminish ill life, maybe relinquish a heart of its real jive -
talking its nonsense that feels nice!

"America, America ..God shed his grace on thee"
but did he really crown thy good? or leave it on to bleed
to make the brotherhood see, what saints they'd want be
just to make it past the depths of dirt ..
and be pleased not to go obtain a burn that bests the worse
the chest is first, not to confuse the worth of the colony
"but you didn't hear it from me cause the governments on to me!"
I'll receive my trouble bent lobotomy ..

humble gent? I've got to be! You've no idea what I've seen
our country watches television not knowing what guy's mean
Iraq, the oil ..world war, just greed
but again my friend, for the good of the country!
its truth is dusty, and no body can find it ..
the blind leading the blind following a path that's blinded
but no one's minded, our kingdom's run by fiends called heroes
the real ones are chained in the dirt.. the fault of mere foes
everyone here knows, Martin King had his dream ..
but the government really believed he did this evil thing
maybe what he breathed will ring inside the nations veins
until then a part of America’s heart -
is still placed inside its chains




oh yes, he's back ..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...93#post5545193
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...99#post5545199

thats hot

^lol at paris hilton registering...

anyways... good drop man.. Flow seemed to be a little off in places, but that may be the fact that I was bumping beats as I read it.. Good usage of multi's though. Topic was seemless, and you did a good job of projecting your message... I'm usually not very into political writings, well politicks in general.. But this was good, and left a nice taste in my mouth.. Good job.

thank you muchlee

wisdom bound, silver embedded 'round a cherry tree
a boy who cried wolf only to cry as the wolf was burying
fairy things, tales of grails and chain mails
to find our existence and "progress" is to blame males
a United States reign fails; to be indicted inside grain and sand
is also to realize the disguised foundation of our maiden lands
Good way to open, sets the stage for the rest of the piece, nice rhyming
and smooth read
and we pray with hands that intend -
to bend the rules of whom they pray to
men fade while the women fill their wombs to pay dues
it's how we're made, too!
Like this part. Especially the ironic humor of pregnancy
we're simply slain through pain and fear
for whores -
it's far from hard to make honest men weep disdain tears
as they creep near from house to house, you'll hear all lies
a cheat if I ever saw one, as she peers and with drawls eyes
down to a smaller size, America the beautiful, never honest
Abe died! it's a crazed life, marriage is a sly and clever promise
no more red riding hood fables, she's left a severed bonnet
and if the chest is ever upon it, our country will strive
to diminish ill life, maybe relinquish a heart of its real jive -
talking its nonsense that feels nice!
another good stanza, liked the red riding hood line although I thought it would have been better if it was just ‘red riding fables’, it reads better without the extra syllable
"America, America ..God shed his grace on thee"
but did he really crown thy good? or leave it on to bleed
to make the brotherhood see, what saints they'd want be
just to make it past the depths of dirt ..
and be pleased not to go obtain a burn that bests the worse
the chest is first, not to confuse the worth of the colony
"but you didn't hear it from me cause the governments on to me!"
I'll receive my trouble bent lobotomy..
nice incorporation of a symbolic and well known song
humble gent? I've got to be! You've no idea what I've seen
our country watches television not knowing what guy's mean
Iraq, the oil ..world war, just greed
but again my friend, for the good of the country!
its truth is dusty, and no body can find it ..
the blind leading the blind following a path that's blinded
but no one's minded, our kingdom's run by fiends called heroes
the real ones are chained in the dirt.. the fault of mere foes
everyone here knows, Martin King had his dream ..
but the government really believed he did this evil thing
maybe what he breathed will ring inside the nations veins
until then a part of America’s heart -
is still placed inside its chains
not sure I’m feeling the ending, to me it ended abruptly and I don’t feel any conclusion in the piece. Other than that this was a well written stanza, rhyming was nicely done


Alright Cry, this was a very well written piece, I saw some minor things I personally thought could be changed, but other than that this was well thought out and nicely executed. I very good read. Keep it up and get at me for that elusive collab.

I liked this drop moreso for the rhyme scheme which was pulled off very well and the flowing of everything was just dope. the flurry of topics you covered were dope as well by pinpointing multiple flaws in america today....at the end you said hes back and if that means your gonna continue to drop dope oms then yea, this isnt my favorite piece by you but its definately good.

hit up,.......The End......pz

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post5547766

thanks guys, appreciate it. hitting up your piece now.

wisdom bound, silver embedded 'round a cherry tree
a boy who cried wolf only to cry as the wolf was burying
fairy things, tales of grails and chain mails
to find our existence and "progress" is to blame males
a United States reign fails; to be indicted inside grain and sand
is also to realize the disguised foundation of our maiden lands
well a good opening so far.. it was nice and smooth..
and we pray with hands that intend -
to bend the rules of whom they pray to
men fade while the women fill their wombs to pay dues
it's how we're made, too!
lol..
we're simply slain through pain and fear
for whores -
it's far from hard to make honest men weep disdain tears
as they creep near from house to house, you'll hear all lies
a cheat if I ever saw one, as she peers and with drawls eyes
down to a smaller size, America the beautiful, never honest
Abe died! it's a crazed life, marriage is a sly and clever promise
no more red riding hood fables, she's left a severed bonnet
and if the chest is ever upon it, our country will strive
to diminish ill life, maybe relinquish a heart of its real jive -
talking its nonsense that feels nice!
liked the red riding hood line.. this was smooth, too..
"America, America ..God shed his grace on thee"
but did he really crown thy good? or leave it on to bleed
to make the brotherhood see, what saints they'd want be
just to make it past the depths of dirt ..
and be pleased not to go obtain a burn that bests the worse
the chest is first, not to confuse the worth of the colony
"but you didn't hear it from me cause the governments on to me!"
I'll receive my trouble bent lobotomy..
well the flow once again was smooth.. with a quotable
humble gent? I've got to be! You've no idea what I've seen
our country watches television not knowing what guy's mean
Iraq, the oil ..world war, just greed
but again my friend, for the good of the country!
its truth is dusty, and no body can find it ..
the blind leading the blind following a path that's blinded
but no one's minded, our kingdom's run by fiends called heroes
the real ones are chained in the dirt.. the fault of mere foes
everyone here knows, Martin King had his dream ..
but the government really believed he did this evil thing
maybe what he breathed will ring inside the nations veins
until then a part of America’s heart -
is still placed inside its chains
man this was dope after i looked over it a few times.
"the blind leading the blind following a path that's blinded".. but i understood
this... i liked it.. but in some parts im a little choppy at what point you were
trying to get across..


overall this was a nice and smooth piece. ive been reading alot since i
came on here. and i havent seen pieces like this often, bro.. you definitely
got talent.. keep on spittin. ill be dropping somethin' in another day or so..
but im taking a day off (writers block)... i give this a 9.9/10

good piece my friend glad to see you here back in top form with this piece that you have here flow was choppy at the end but other then that i liked the vivd picture that you wrote form start to finish. Deep content which really had to have me stop for a second and recognize so kudos on making me use my head over good piece man

wow......im impressed once again another long ass read but once again worth the time there was one stanze in my own mind that really stuck out and that i really liked

we're simply slain through pain and fear
for whores -
it's far from hard to make honest men weep disdain tears
as they creep near from house to house, you'll hear all lies
a cheat if I ever saw one, as she peers and with drawls eyes
down to a smaller size, America the beautiful, never honest
Abe died! it's a crazed life, marriage is a sly and clever promise
no more red riding hood fables, she's left a severed bonnet
and if the chest is ever upon it, our country will strive
to diminish ill life, maybe relinquish a heart of its real jive -
talking its nonsense that feels nice!

the red riding hood line was my favorite out of this exert very good stanza in my own opinion not to much to really say well thought out and nicely done....keep up the great work my friend.....ur a very talented writer and u have my respect in all aspescts

this peice was dope...ive never seen any of your work...i like how you made the pregnancy a lil funny and you had nice flow , wordplay , multi's and overall this piece was nice....mad props to ya....and i give it a 9/10




hit up the battle in my sig

thats a unique rhymescheme right there, felt choppy at start but i grew into it and found it really dope, and i feel ya message man, reminds me of fight the power type of ish.

Nice shit Nash, you've elevated alot.

I liked your in and outcome of the peice. Most of your peices start alright and end better. This started and ended great. Great flow and great wordplay. The Emotion was incredible and I really thought I felt where the cherector was going at in this. You've outdone yourself man, welcome to nomination.

This was nice. I'm not going into details....but.....word.